Granted, but it’s also better than yours.
I do wish that the matchup system would combine all accounts belonging to a person to ensure that it won’t match up “smurfs” to weaker players.
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Granted! You’ve just instituted the identification system that becomes the number of the beast *. And now that you’ve summoned the antichrist to rule over all of us, we all play like we’ve been struck dumb by a hammer. Now everything is fair!
I wish that this game never dies. Never.Never ever ever. I mean like really never.
- there would be a need for everyone’s identity to be collapsed to a marking/ barcode/ number that tracks all transactions. Your wish brings about this.
Granted. However, to achieve this, you were moved into a different universe where Overwatch was the be-all-and-end-all-of-life. Enjoy your stay.
I do wish I could pull myself out of Elo hell.
You pulled yourself, but can only maintain out of it with Torb.
I wish coffee made me a better Overwatch player.
Granted coffee makes you the best overwatch player in the universe, hands down. It also gives you hives and explosive diarrhea for days.
I wish that I could hit 10 for sure kills per game anytime I wanted.
Granted! Kill anyone you want anytime! Oh no! there’s a deflecting Genji and one of your teammates dies, Oh no! I wonder if that will keep happening to you? Oh no!
I wish I knew why, because that was some wild…
If I have to learn Torbjorn, then so be it.
Granted. You have learned the reason to why it happened. Unfortunately, there’s nothing you can do about it.
I do wish there were no such things as smurfs and the high rankers stayed in their place.
Granted, but no new player will progress past Platinum.
I wish that ActiBlizzard release the “super secret project” we’ve been waiting almost half a year for now.
Your wish is granted. Activision/ Blizzard has released it’s super secret project “Pitfallcraft”. You jump over snakes to gain mushrooms that you craft into gems. You use the gems to buy boxes that give you a chance to receive legendary crafting supplies. These supplies can be used once a full moon, during the Croatian new years event, to give you a bonus on raids. If your party defeats the boss, there is a 1% chance you might get the “Wooden sword”. I hear it’s even better than “Rock”! Everyone loves “Pitfallcraft” All other games are ignored. Maybe our societies crumble to dust?
I wish that hero # _______ was more________ and less_________. It’s play style is unfair to play against. Nerf it into the dust.
Granted hero 237 is going to be more fun and less cancer.
Unfortunately by the time EpicActiBlizzEA releases it 700 years will have passed.
I wish Bliz would correct their mistakes 10x faster.
Granted, but each patch add 10 more new problems.
I wish Sombra would be useful for the ladder.
Granted, but she is so overpowered that the next patch nerfs her, then buffs her, then nerfs, she will never find stability
I wish that comp was 1 month long and there is no placements for returning players
Your wish is granted! Lucky you! Feel special? Because we also got rid of that broken wack match making system. I hear now, that they put all of our names in a box and just kinda dump it on the floor.
I wish for better coffee and a tasty pastry on a semi regular basis and in a manner that is not comical.
Granted. The person you hate the most receives better coffee and a tasty pastry on a semi regular basis because you did not specify who would receive them.
I wish for my cats to use the human toilet for their bathroom business and flush when they’re done.
Granted. Now your laptop has 500% more fecal particles on it from your cats not washing their paws.
I wish that OWL was never even conceived.
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Granted. Unfortunately, that also got rid of SR and MMR…
……and the whole network, period. Now you can’t play with anyone.
I do wish the folks playing this game were a little more mature and fair about it.
Granted, now every game ends in a draw and nobody gains SR.
I wish SR gave me credit bonuses towards grocery shopping.
Granted, but half of the groceries you purchase must be donated to your local food bank, so you spend twice as much as you’re actually getting. That said, at least the food bank benefits!
I wish Jeff Kaplan would retract his statement about the entire cast of Overwatch liking pineapple on pizza, since that is heresy. 
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Granted, but because of the retraction of his statement of the cast liking pineapple on pizza, all the overwatch casts members are fired meaning no more updates nor content.
I wish I would disappear.
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Granted: You disappear, then reappear 2 years later, naked, covered in vaseline and glitter at a daycare. The police are called, it’s this whole deal…
I wish people weren’t so judgemental about pineapple on pizza.
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