Friends rage too much what should I do?

General Discussion
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I have two friends who recommended this game to me some time ago and I was happy to play with them.
The problem is that they rage the whole time. Every single time they die they shout how unfair it was, that this “Widow has aimbot”, that they had strange bugs (that never happened before, interestingly). Five minutes into the match they say things like “I hate this stupid game” or “f*** this game”. It’s really unplayable with them. It seems they can’t admit they do mistakes too. And to be clear, we play qp only. I can’t imagine them playing ranked where it is actually dangerous…
Can I do something about that? I really want to play with my friends, but every time I talk about their rage they say “it is natural, there is nothing [they] could do about it”.
I don’t believe that.

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That’s a super-weak excuse of theirs, to claim that it’s “natural” to have zero impulse control or anger-management skills.

Like, it was natural for me to poop myself when I was an infant - but I’ve grown up since then. Maybe your friends should grow up too.

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Totally with you here! They easily get frustrated with games in general.
I tell that this is a competitive game, that it is normal to lose or die, but well…
One of my friends has Asperger’s, that might correlate somehow.

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Don’t play with them.
I had people like this on my friends list, but I let them go.
Since then I’ve filled my friends list with people who have positive attitudes and are geniuenly nice. As a result, my gaming experience has improved tremendously. I feel like I’m able to grow as a player being grouped up with positive people.

If you really want to, you can try and communicate with them about it, but from my experience, this doesn’t really work unless the person/people are practicing their own introspection and have a willingness to want to be positive.

You know, a lot of people don’t know this about me, but for awhile when the game first came out, I used to be toxic. I discouraged instead encouraged, I blamed others, scapegoated, complained, and was just not someone who was fun to play with when things were going bad.

But you know what, I changed.

I said to myself, “You know what, you are a better person than you are a gamer, and the former should be feeding into the latter. You should be playing to have fun and encouraging/helping others. You should acknowledge that Match Making isn’t perfect and you should do your best with what you have. You should compliment people for their great plays, you should try to be more supportive of their hero picks and help enable them. You should work on your own mistakes and behavior; try to be a better shotcaller/leader.”

So I did. And not only did my gameplay improve, but I also was feeling much happier, and making new positive friends. I know people may find what I said hard to believe, but I believe in being honest with oneself and there is more maturity and growth as a human being in doing so.

Anyways, I hope this helps. Regardless of what you choose to do, I know you will do what is best for you. Sometimes that means letting people go, sometimes that means making new friends, sometimes that means changing yourself. Sometimes it’s all of these things.

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As for what you should do, four suggestions come to mind:

  1. Try to talk with them, and let them know that their emotional outbursts are souring the game experience for you. See if they learn to keep their feelings in line.
  2. Solo-queue.
  3. Find other players to play Overwatch with.
  4. Ditch the people you’ve written about and get better friends.

Ultimately what you do is up to you, but if they’re not fun to be around - and you play to have fun - then being around them doesn’t sound like the sort of thing I’d continue to be doing, if I were in your situation. Best of luck with this, with whichever path you choose to take.

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That’s a terrible energy to try and play with, constant whining and complaining. If I were you I would tell them to be a little more positive because it’ll help you all play better. Then when they try it and it works, point it out to them and reinforce positive attitude and teamwork.

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Great answer, I thank you!

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Take them outside for a coffee, anywhere out of their rooms so they will remember that other things are more worth to be taken seriously than a video game, no humoring.

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If they are real life friends. Tell them it is not polite to do. If they are not then go solo. That is what i do often.

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make new friends and lose the old ones.

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Why play with them though, like I understand someone can have a bad day but to be constantly toxic they have some issue they have to adress… if those were my friends i’d honestly smack them in the face to shut it lol

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No Thank you. This thread reminded me about how far I’ve come.
Here is a quick 55 sec video of my playing with some of my new friends and were are laughing and having a good time:

We make jokes, tease, and laugh a lot, and that is what a game should be about: Having fun and making online friendships.

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Those are my real life best friends though…

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That should make it easier to directly approach them and tell them how you feel. A good friend will listen to you.

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I can understand this game making you Angry a bit of the time and I’d say it’s hard pressed to hold it against them if they are unable to remain Positive and Happy Go Lucky through thick and thin every single game. There are a ton of aggravating factors that are part of this game that it’s rightly justified to get pissed off about:

Overabundance of CC, the other 3 random teammates on your side doing whatever the hell they please and don’t know what the Group Up Call means, Complete Utter Stomps where even if you played out of your mind there was nothing you could do to stop it, being forced onto a hero you’re very bad at that you feel could cost the game with how poorly you perform on them just so the team comp is balanced and that the other 2 who locked Widow and Hanzo simultaneously can have fun. List goes on.

However getting angry over things that Are within their control is pretty bad. Like a Widowmaker that is just actually good at the game, instead of just claiming they’re hacking they can just swap to Winston or a Flanker.

Instead of chalking dying to “bugs” learn survivability, positioning or if that’s too hard play the heroes that can just get away and live a lot longer than others like Moira, Tracer, Reaper, Dva, Roadhog etc.

I’d say if you really like those 2 friends despite their flaws try and find 3 other friends that way you can be a 6 Stack in Quickplay, all be working together and alleviate any problem of “Garbage teammates Instalocking Widow every single game” that may go on.

Otherwise if that doesn’t solve the problem then the solution is more complicated. As someone myself who has their own anger problems, they are most likely easily aggrivated as something in their own real and personal life is going wrong and badly for them. Like you said, that Aspergers example may be a key to the problem. Others might be bottling up something that is really messing with them and the only way they can cope is by Snapping and releasing their Pain on something else, just be glad that Release of Rage is on a video game and not IRL.

Exercise is good for releasing that stress and if you get the inkling it’s something worse than you would’ve thought be there and try and do what you can to help them through it and let them know they’re not alone.

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this may not come out the way i want it to sound so someone else may have to chime in on it and exsplane it a little better but this is the best i can do im not to good exspressing certen things in words. so heres hopeing you understand

some times in life you have to look out for your own mental health more then your friends them selfs. if a BF is beomeing to toxic to be around you need to cut them from your life before they poison it more then they allready have.

exsample. if your friends are toxic in a game ment to be used as fun. it shows that not only are they toxic but that there probaly not going to change just becuse you say something.

its better to lose a few friends that are bad for you then oh i dont know stress out over how they act. or feel bad when they treat someone like garbage. or over all worry and other things that do not help a person be healthy.

by removeing the toxic people from your life before they become to toxic in it and poison it. it gives you a chance to find people and make friends that are not toxic

iv done this more then once with life time friends. people i have known since i was in grade school. they did not grow up over the years and i did. they remained toxic and poisonus to be around so i walked away from them inorder to rid my self of the negativity and unhealthy toxicity that came from them.

iv also done the same with girlfriends that where toxic. sure the relationship could of gone somewhere but with someone being poisonus in the way they act. its only a matter of time before they drag you down to there level.

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Just tell them that you can do other things with them, but you can’t enjoy playing Overwatch due to their constant raging (no matter how they can’t ‘‘help it’’, being immature).

I knew a person like that once. It was really frustrating to do anything with them, always angry and always upset in every game. Needless to say they’re not in my life anymore for a lot reasons.

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I had similar problems, I just quit playing with them and it worked out well.

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Couldn’t agree more. I take my coffee way more seriously than my overwatch. Fresh grind every cup. No other way. Instant can go play with the buses!! :coffee::bus:

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That’s a tough one , but when they are good friends they should take your feelings into consideration. If not and you cant deal with it simply stop playing with them. I play duo que with my brother and we rage ALOT but when it gets over top we tell each other to shut up and calm down and that helps. All depends on the nature of your relationship