Am I the only person who blames themselves for a loss?

General Discussion
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Hyperbolic question; of course I know I’m not the only one who does this. But I have noticed there is a spectrum of people with two extreme ends.

You have the people with extremely bad low self-esteem issues who always blame ourselves, and instantly assume we’re the worst players on the team. Every win feels like we got carried and didn’t earn it, and every loss feels like we were solely responsible. And that makes it ridiculously hard to play this game because every loss feels like it’s your fault personally, which leads to depression and an inability to lead or make confident call-outs.

We have our own set of problems in that regard, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying we’re saints. We’re probably quite miserable.

But then you have the people who feel like they’re never wrong, who blame everyone except themselves when crap hits the fan. (A good example of this is Tyler1, but I’m sure we’ve all encountered this type in-game as well).

These people literally spend more time in-game watching for other people’s mistakes than they do paying attention to what’s actually happening overall, and will outright die before admitting they need to improve.

They’re impossible to work with and extremely argumentative.

I feel like most people are in the middle of the bell curve, naturally, but there are definitely more on the later end of the spectrum in the gaming community.

I really can’t wrap my head around the mentality of the second lot. Like, part of me wishes I could channel that sometimes so I could be more confident. Just, ya know, not to the level of delusion or toxicity.

So where do you all fall on the scale? Is there anyone else on the very starting line of the spectrum who always assumes they’re the worst in the lobby too?

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I’m in between-when we’re losing it’s all my fault and when we’re winning i’m the hard carry(in my mind)

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I wouldn’t say I assume I’m the worst (how you view yourself has a big impact on how you play)… but blaming your team mates is such a cope it makes me feel bad for people who do it lol

It’s like “okay, you’re having a bad day, and just wanted to get online and point fingers at strangers”

You are the only variable you can control, so in my mind, it’s only practical to focus on your own game play. Plus, calling out others just makes them play worse or stop trying altogether just to spite them.

That’s what gets me… it’s not necessarily the blame that is thrown around… it’s the demeaning way in which it’s administered, and then they sit there and play dumb like “wow I’m just trying to help us win”, and it’s like “yeah? by telling me I’m trash at an entire role and to never play OW again?” lolol

At any rate, the biggest room is always the room for improvement, so focusing on yourself is the best use of your time.

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I’m probably mid spectrum between the two, and it depends on the hero I’ve picked and what my stats are. I don’t really find the need to play blame game, whether it be on myself or someone on my team. I’m a realist- you win some you lose some. I go into the game understanding that, and my win lose ratio feels even, regardless of what the actual numbers are.

Win or lose, I care more about the matches feeling even. I hate stomps, regardless of which side I’m on.

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I try to be objective. I’m sure I fail sometimes.

But, for example, say we lose, I’m tank and I feel like I was constantly melted. I will look at stats. If Healers are WAY below what the enemy did, I might suspect. If DPS elims are way below what the enemy did I might suspect there. If Both are solid but my stats are way down, I’m going to probably blame myself.

Now if I went and watched the VoD I might find out different info, but just at a casual glance I tend to judge it that way. I don’t call anyone out or bash or complain about bad teams, I just try to acknowledge where I can personally improve and move forward.

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Depends on the situation, but if it’s a member of my team that’s the reason I 100% won’t be telling them about it and keep it to myself

Though if someone is blaming their team every single time, perhaps they need to watch replays of their own gameplay etc because that doesn’t sound right, of course sometimes it can be a whole team issues, a specific 1-2 player issue and even yourself.

Pointing the finger at someone and blaming them publicly during the game doesn’t help and will then make them perform even worse due to the added pressure and stress, so it’s better to focus on yourself and stop worrying about others.

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No, you’re not alone. I always focus on my own mistakes and focus on them way more than teammate’s mistakes(I tend to just see a mistake and go “huh” and forget about it). In my head me mispositioning a fight in a minor way is way more tilting than my Rein who seems to have his charge key stuck.

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Based on my 2500 hours, you are the only person I know who takes responsibility for their losses

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No because IT REALLY IS THEIR FAULT NOT MINE.

Picking useless heroes that do nothing against theirs.
Running into die on their own.

I can go on and on but these selfish players only think of themselves and are too stubborn to swap when it could win the game. This garbage rigged matchmaking just loves to give me such players. There is a vast difference between a team that isn’t full of players like that and ones that are.

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I blame the okes underperforming via the scoreboard. Whether its myself or another one of my teammates doesn’t matter. Only thing matters is the scoreboard.

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Sometimes. I stopped doing that in ow because it was destroying my mental health even further.

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I don’t get the people who pity themselves. Like why you even play if you know or think that losing is all your fault.

I would just stop playing and switch to a game where I can do better if I think it is all my fault.

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I don’t like generalizations but am cool with your overall message. For me, I try and be realistic which is to say I realize we all make mistakes and that includes my team and I.

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it’s always my team’s fault

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…ultimately, self-reflection is the path to improvement so the person blaming themselves is on the right track… :slight_smile:

People who make posts blaming the matchmaker, smurfs, etc will never improve as they lack the ability to self-reflect… :upside_down_face: :thinking:

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Well the stats do say who the weakest links are.

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Same! I also blame my losses on you! :laughing:

But seriously, I’m in the middle. There are plenty of times when I know it’s my fault and I apologize in text chat – especially if someone else is blamed for what was ultimately my shortcomings. This activates my white knight tendencies fast.

But there are also many times when I’m confident our struggle is someone else’s fault. In these cases I offer some guidance in chat as politely as possible. If they fail to listen, I keep quiet and swallow my frustration. If they fail to listen but then blame me, I explode. :rofl:

And then there are times when my instinct is to internally blame my teammates after a loss, but deep down I already know the truth that I did just as much wrong if not more, and I may even have caused their mistakes.

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Because if I quit without improving then that’s like giving up, and my brain hates giving up on something I really want to do. It eats at me to not end. XP So quitting would make me feel worse.

I’m not sure it classifies as self-pity either. Maybe? It’s more like … I’m compelled to be extremely hard on myself and feel like crap if I don’t perform near perfectly. And since perfection is never really achievable, I always feel like I fail, especially when it’s objectively reflected on stats or a defeat screen.

I dunno, it’s complicated. XP

Yeah, exactly. It’s like … I really don’t notice (or care) what other people are doing. I’m too busy kicking my own butt for not hitting Recall fast enough and dying to a Junkrat tire. XD

Who needs drill sergeants when you have one living in your head? :sweat_smile:

:rofl:

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At some degree we all judge ourselves. Both the overconfident and the underconfident. Most people, like you said, swing between these 2 feelings and there are people who do stay fixated fully, on one of these 2 sides.

Without going into some psychological assumptions about why people are the way they are, we can say that particularly in OW, It might have something to do with ones objective ability to break down complex situations and think in ways we are not normally used to. :person_shrugging:t4: just a guess.

A player who lacs self esteem, may usually view their situation NOT as a learning experience to improve, but rather convince themselves that they are not good and fail to see that they can improve. If they do perform well they may feel as though they don’t deserve it and further criticize themselves unjustly after each win or loss.

A player who is overconfident is just as equally bad, if not worse. These players are not interested in improving, they already believe they are the best, so any effort to improve is not perused similarly to the player with low self esteem. They, in most cases intentionally bury their ability to look at themselves in the mirror to evaluate their skills. When these players do perform well, they further solidify their beliefs that might sound like “See, I AM the best player and everyone else is brining me down.”

You can imagine 2 people.

  • One who’s staring intently at themselves in a mirror over criticizing themselves at every turn.

  • One who has their back to the mirror, never looking at themselves to objectively evaluate themselves.

These 2 personalities, are you, me and everyone else.

Most people alternate between these 2 positions as that’s usually a healthy way to look at a situation depending on the situation itself. Sometimes you may need to objectively call yourself out and listen to the person in the mirror and recognize. And the other times when you have the knowledge and training you need, keep the overthinking and criticism to a minimum so you are able to perform. Of course im talking mostly about the OW game. So these things might be subjective out side this context.

These 2 observations are one of the biggest reasons people are not improving at this game. The fact is, both these players are constantly playing a comparison game rather than playing the game. They both are always comparing their abilities, good or bad, and then fixating themselves into their biased worlds where in turn restricts their ability to improve.

To answer your question. I remain as objective as possible and only move to biased assumptions when I know for sure that my skills, knowledge and experience support the claims. Other than that, I am always open to improve as should everyone else be too.

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I am in the middle. Not every loss can be solely pinned on me, but definitely some games. Usually tank games when playing solo is when you really feel that, though sometimes its the dps or healers. What matters most is looking back on the match and asking yourself. “Is there anything I could of done better or differently?”

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