Some self-reflection would help you better connect with people if youâre trying to get results out of them.
Right now, youâre working with humans. Imagine humans were an oboe. If you were new or just didnât really give much though to how you came across, youâd sound like &@!$. Right now when you talk to people who youâre angry at (because they suck), your feelings probably overshadow your request to them and your sound is wide, nasally, and unpleasant.
Youâre probaby asking something simple like, âNazeebo, youâll get more stacks faster and be safer if you rotate and clear waves with us. Trust me, come with usâ
But you are upset so letâs translate
âNaz stop being an idiot and soaking alone, youâve literally done nothing but feed all game. You canât be out that far in lane vs. Zera Falstadâ
And yeah. Would that have warranted a report in your dadâs era, when people were tougher? Probably not. But guess what? Oboes are currently being made out of younger trees, they grow them faster and chop em up for money, so they donât last as long or make as vibrant, beautiful tones. Mostly, they just aggressively pretend to be happy and well-made until they cry themselves to sleep every night over venti white mochas, selfies, taco bell and Netflix.
There is a silver lining, though, and that is that this is an analogy and that even though itâs hard, people can change. Including those cancers who feign outrage, and including you, and even me (?$&$ing kumbaya moment right here folks) can reflect and see how the way we talk to people, the way we put our mouths on them and blow through their tiny holes and the shape of our air pathways and vocalizations alllll affect the outcome in the end, so that we can strive to make the most beautiful sounds come out of the oboe. You have to learn how to play, you have to learn how to play the game of talking to people who are looking for you to be just another source of harrisment and drama in their dull lives. You can show them up soooo much harder by giving them supportive, positive and direct messages to work with, forcing them into either complying, coming up with a better solution, or the embarrassing third option of reacting as if theyâd just been attacked, without even attacking them in literally any conceivable way. At that point, their own self-loathing in the light of your loving messages to them is the only hand by which they suffer, and itâs clear as day to everyone. Happy victories to you in your loving conquest of the self