As always these patch notes are totally fake but your belly busting up reading them is not!
1] Fractured Winterglass is now correctly named Fractured SPEARglass.
2] Fixed an issue where Uber Lilith would surrender to a group of 4 sorcerers.
3] Tumbleweeds will no longer spawn themselves in seasonal PVP areas and instead will go where they belong on eternal realm.
4] Fortunate Finds will now also refresh 50% of the time you buy a cosmetic item.
5] Fixed an issue where Lightning Spear sorcs in hordes would get stuck because of killing monsters before they spawned.
6] Hellborn will no longer be able to unionize and demand better working conditions.
7] Fixed an issue where the ring of misfortune would cause your lottery tickets to fail.
8] Corrected an issue where mythics would fall through the floor with too many items on the ground. This now happens 5% of the time to reduce the amount of mythics dropping on torment bosses. World bosses now drop mythics 1%.
9] All Mythics will now be item power 800. We heard you! No more legacy mythics!!!
10] Too many druids doing offerings in Tul Durla will no longer cause sinkholes.
I have a feeling this is not one of my best ones! Sorry guys ran out of THE BEAST drinks! 
Please tell your top thing you love on S5 and your top thing you hate on S5.
Mine:
Top 
→ Hordes are awesome
Top 
→ Another season with a dupe exploit