TOP 10 Joke Patch Notes DEC 2023 😜

PC General Discussion
21

Not even a little bit.

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22

Yes very funny and thank you.

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23

Whole list is high quality, I got a chuckle out of several of these. Thanks for the funnies.

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24

Love this one. :+1: :clap:

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25

Added 20 additional chairs and 5 couches to every major city.

A new solitare game has been added to the zoning screen.

All Blizzard executives have now been promoted to Microsoft bureaucratics.

26

This one is my fav one.

Number 2 is Fixed an issue where Uber items were not dropping for character names starting with a vowel or y unless they were Streamers.
(edit copied wrong one)

Number 3 is BL sorcs killing mobs by THINKING about casting BL.

Thx for +1 folks!

27
  • We’ve added new features and fixes, taking up 50MB.
  • The remaining 950MB is the item shop update. (After applying the Microsoft compression used in system updates.) :rofl:
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28

https://imgur.com/6rxE06D

29

i was really prepared to not laugh at all because im just not your target audience but i gotta be honest, the very first one instantly made me chuckle.

3rd one made me crack a smile.

and the occultist thing i have a feeling blizzard could start the worlds largest, best stocked blood bank if they ever did something like that.

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30

Ty for this! Made my day. Made me laugh after a bad day of work bc i could picture some of these as legit

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31

This was my personal favorite.

Maybe just to be with the current times (today), ADD:
11. Updated AOZ death penalty due to feedback. Death no longer results in a failed run but un-levels a random slotted paragon glyph by 2 levels.

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32

lmaoo please no… :sob:

33
  1. Gaping Crevasse now have 10 holes in the ground with Duriel randomly popping in and out untill hit by HOTA.
  2. Amount of XP gained by killing monsters is now doubled.
  3. Amount of XP required to level up is now doubled.
  4. “In town” sign moved 10 miles away from towns.
  5. You can now accidentally donate all your funds to devs by clicking on random pixel.
  6. Added new affix: "Lucky hit, 0.8% chance to deal 7% more overpowering damage to confused, distracted, mentally disabled and vaccinated monsters every 4th monday of July at 07:23pm
  7. According to player’s feedback about useless duplicate uber uniques we added a merchant to Kyovashad where you can sell any uber unique for 5obols.
  8. Replaced BL sorc’s ball lightning with disco balls. Hitting enemy with disco ball lightning enables “you touch my tralala” effect.
34

  1. Upon realizing that the AOZ death penalty is considered too harsh by 99% of players, we will put out patch notes stating this is unintended behavior and we are working on a fix restoring the lost glyph levels that involves changing one line of code.

  2. Turns out our code is such a mess our team of 10,000 engineers can’t seem to find the one line of code, so there is no possible way of a fix on the same day as patch release.

35

My MC Hammer must of got lost, because the only ones dancing are mobs. Dancing on my corps singing “And another bites the dust!!”

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36

2 was good, but for some reason 4 made me lol :laughing:

37

Man is 100% right your becoming a meme yourself. Oh look its pointless point guy

38

Hotfix: fixed an issue that was an issue, then created 99 more issues.

2 Likes
39

Supposed to be joke only patch nodes Winter fren.

40

Cos it’s funneeeeeeee and apologies because video games are not a waste of time my bad.

1 Like