A great way to fix the current issue with load, related to stash tabs and people in range, is to remove them all except 1. Clearly whatever that system is, it wasnt written well.
At the Character select screen give us a new inventory, that you can move things in and out of your active stash in game. The single in game stash tab would improve current performance. The character select inventory can be expanded as big or as little as you like and it dosent need to have any impact on the game or the in game stash tab.
You could then use the Character select inventory to make a new auction house, so we can trade in game, instead of on discord.