- 50 percent damage reduction on Tuesdays.
-
- 20% armor while wearing a white shirt.
- Gain damage equal to how many chicken nuggets you ate.
- Increase your movement speed based on how many micro transactions you bought.
Keep them going.
25 Likes
Tou gain 1 mana each time you blink
4 Likes
You lose 1 armor for every 2 armor you gain while blocking on a Sunday when it’s raining.
And more like this will be what S4 will be, not D5 lol.
4 Likes
damn, some people are way too funny! 
/Sarcasm off
3 Likes
+100% chance to see the same things on the forum every day
-10 braincells for every repeat post
+0.00001% chance that the devs will actually listen
+0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% chance that these posts provide anything new or even funny
8 Likes
Well the cash shop will have the invisible shirt that gives 30% armor for $19.99
1 Like
1% crit damage per times you’ve been trolled in forums
1% crit chance per times you’ve trolled someone in forums
2 Likes
Spend $100 for 1 shoe lace skin to move forward one space.
Those odds are reserved for Diablo 5’s Super Duper Uber Doober Uniques.
1 Like
Honestly, Raxx makes this joke,wasn’t funny then still isn’t funny now.
-10% resistance per child per household
+10% resistance per child on school days
2 Likes
-0% chance Diablo 4 wins any GOTY this year.
-20% chance the 2/10 Metacritic user score increases.
-15% chance the 5.8/10 Steam score lowers.
-100% chance we get another $65 horse skin before they make the Helltide map better, add LFG, fix the unresponsive shout clicking, or fix the Druid WW fur bug.
1 Like
+100% Chance to receive a perfectly rolled Shako when Haley’s comet is within the Earth’s orbit
+10% Damage Reduction for every time you heart/liked a post for up to 5 seconds, maximum stack of 1
+5% Damage for every time you see anyone from Blizz acknowledges our ‘plea’ for change, maximum stack of -10
+1% Chance to Praise the development team for their itemization approach for every time they try to fix a problem only to be foiled with their ‘balancing’ methods
1 Like
- -[0.1 -1] cm3 to brain capacity everytime a complain is read in forums, multiply times two if they ask for d3 or d2 stuff.
I’ve literally saw nobody make that joke and I was pretty proud for thinking it up myself lol
1% chance to gain 3% movement speed bonus upon getting a lucky hit.
This bonus lasts for .5 seconds or until you move.
2 Likes
You pay $1 every month to make a post on the forums since it is subscription service.
You pay $50 to resurrect your character on hardcore.
%5 damage increase per cosmetic bought in the MTX shop.
On even days: +0.5% fire and poison damage
On odd days: +0.3% physical and lightning damage
Other days: +0.2% frost and shadow damage
…oh wait… I think there’s an issue…
1 Like
Everyone with or without owning the game can cast their vote. And I assume, not many, but … MANY MANY kids with too much time on their hands, made accounts there just to give a lower score to D4.
I mean I get it. Its not GOTY nor a perfect game. Heck, not even a very good game. But to give it a 0 its pathetic.
…same story. I mean literally there were topics in here, telling players to buy the game on steam, cast their negative review, and then ask for a refund, which I assume many did this.
That skin was a bonus. You bought Platinum Coins actually. But anyway, what this has to do with the game itself?!