Okay Sint, I hope you’re prepared. Because I saw this post last night, but it was too late and I was too tired to reply but I monologued in my head about my inspiration. So I have a feeling this is could be another one of my long winded posts so I apologize if what I write is long and rambling but this is something that is always on my mind and always shaping.
To put it simply, I’ve always been writing. Ever since I was little, I would write stories on note book paper. I’ve always had this desire to try and put into words what I imagine, because all my life I feel like I live in my head more. I’m always thinking, always imagining , always visualizing and thinking of scenarios. It doesn’t really mean I’m GOOD at writing, I even have a minor degree in creative writing and I learned a lot, but my lack of practice has caused my knowledge to decay and I need to brush up again on things. My memory + perfectionism + procrastination + dyslexia tends to make it difficult for me to keep up on grammar rules and it’s always been extremely frustrating knowing how much I enjoy writing. ANYWAY!
In regards to roleplay specifically for WoW, this game has been with me since Middle School. I didn’t KNOW I could role play until later, and at the time I didn’t know what to really do to get into it, nor did I have friends really in-game or irl interested in jumping into Azeroth with me. So I didn’t start WoW rp until WoD actually. I’ve always wanted to be a part of this world. I’ve been rping as long as I can remember, and I’m sure many of us here have. From pretending to be animals on the playground, to doing script like rp back and forth in a notebook during class, Deviant Art message boards and PMs to some very niche chat rooms that don’t exist anymore. It’s always been this desire to explore things other than myself.
I’ve never really found myself all too interesting, but I’ll spare the childhood woes. I will say though, I think a big draw to RP is that there is something very transformative about it. And I’ve always been enamored by the idea of transforming and shapeshifting and being something else. I put a lot passion into the dimension of some of my major characters because being able to be in their head and -understand- Azeroth from their point of view is what makes this fun for me. It’s why I DO care about the Lore, because its an easy thing we can all agree on that exists and helps me narrow down how a character might exist (which of course I do have somethings I try to fanon but I try not to do it in a way thats too difficult to go along with.)
The orcs themselves are a major inspiration. Thrall is a major inspiration. But for some reasons people may not realize. I feel deeply with both Thrall’s story and the story of the orcs. They’ve helped me , as silly as it may seem, with things like identity. The fantasy element seperates it from real life, and lets me see certain concepts in ways that help me better reflect it on myself. Orcs are considered a ‘masculine’ race. They are muscle bound. Loud. They are considered ‘hostile’ and lesser. But that’s not really the case obviously.
I know there a lot of races like this, but the fact that orcs are these big muscular people but also have long hair means a lot to me. They show a lot of angles of emotions, tenderness and affection that people seem to ignore. They have a culture that I feel deeply rooted in my soul that speaks to me in a way that makes me feel motivated almost. There is an experience about orcs that makes me feel happy.
To get a little personal, I’ve mentioned it before, but I have a mixed background. One that has been a major thing for me in my personal life because I never grew up with the experience of understanding anything about my culture. It’s there, I can learn about it, but I never really felt like I’m allowed to. I feel distant from it, I feel like I was brought up in a seperate world that won’t allow me to fully understand the truth of what it means to be my other half. And sadly enough, I’ve had some encounters with people who I tried to connect to, only for them to tell me I’m not enough of what I am to really be acknowledged. As far as they are concerned, being mixed invalidates any trueness to my identity.
This is sort of where Thrall comes in, and why I really feel for his story. The orcs in themselves, and myself over all, I would say are some of the biggest reasons for my inspiration. I get to sort of explore parts of myself through the eyes of Gotosh as someone who is very passionate about his people, very passionate about making sure his peoples traditions don’t die out to modern mindsets that his history isn’t important. To help people understand that it’s okay to be without knowledge and to seek it. He helps people who may have missed out on their culture, who need guidance. To not remember who we are is at a risk to repeat past mistakes.
It’s a lot of fun to work with Gotosh. And it’s not like it’s something I’m actively thinking about WHILE I’m rping, but I know thats what I connect to it. Without Thrall, without my blossoming love for orcs there would not be a Gotosh. Without my want to try and be a good perosn in-game, without my passion for seeking a connection to culture, Gotosh would of never grown. (So you can imagine my annoyance when people seem to ignore and equate the Horde with being 100% villainous and that to admire and like the orcs means I condone the action of every single character and that I love killing innocent people and want to burn trees. This sort of mindset has totally killed the love for talking about complex characters and you can’t even admire a flawed person without needing to defend yourself!! I beg those out there to please learn how consume and absorb media…)
On a side note side to get less emotional, I also take a lot of inspiration from ancient nordic/viking culture to sort of help shape some ideas about Gotosh or orcs in general. While I’m RPing, there is a good chance I’m listening to long playlists of ambient viking music for the mood and to help with inspiration. (Music is something that helps as well, and my tip for all here is to not listen to music with lyrics while you’re writing.)
RP has been a massive love for me so far though. It’s an escape, it’s an exploration of my mind. A mind that has way too many ideas, visuals, thoughts and situations and I get to share and navigate that passion by logging on and creating stories with my friends. For some reason I feel like I didn’t explain what inspires me well enough…but that’s just me. Oh well!! Time to do some chores and continuously day dream as I do so!!
Edit: Oh gosh I’m suddenly self conscious about this post