Looks at this post on the billboard, wonders if Jarod Shadowsong put up an add for his sister.
Posting so my daughter doesn’t bother me about it anymore. I’m an old Kaldorei with a love for the sea. Don’t know what else to say. I’ll buy you a drink and we’ll see how things go?
<This letter is written entirely in Dwarvish runes. There seems to be a few tries in Common, but it’s unintelligible chickenscratch that has been subsequently crossed out.>
‘Single Dark Iron Man seeking female partner. Willing to tolerate high temperatures is a positive. Hatred of dragons also appreciated. Must be able to speak Dwarvish. Find Fergas Anvilcrash if interested.’
Aged male dwarf overcome with nostalgia and an insatiable wanderlust looking for female companion to tame the wide open seas with. Race and age don’t matter, as long as you can keep up with this dwarf and hold your own in a scuffle. Recognizing the failings of life under Alliance rule is a plus.
The note was fairly old, dating back from before the Tournament of Ages, but apparently was not posted until just now.
"Young (20) goblin guy from Kezan with blue hair with blonde roots and copper teeth looking for a fun time. Must enjoy bad puns, taking fat rips from a good piece a’ glass, and watching me fight with my amazing muscles. Women that are tall enough to carry me are a plus, but I will be glad to date somebody who is as tall as I am, or shorter.
I promise, that while I’m wealthyish due to working for the Flashbang Empire, I’m not you’ze typical moneygrabbin’ gob.
- Signed with a kiss, Gavoz C. E. S. F. Bilgefist"
…it was later amended with,
“Midini, come back ta’ Orgrimma’ some time!”
The note was inscribed with a fel-glowing seal of the Illidari.
"Please, somebody get rid of this felbat, felhound, and infernal-bound madman from the Fel Hammer. With the Legion’s destruction, he’s been doing nothing but perching on the Hammer and screeching at the other felbats only to chase beams of fel energies off of Mardum. Why Lord Illidan allowed him to stay alive.
He’s a Sunfury with reddish hair and claw marks over his eyes, Wretched-like…things…on his back, sunken in cheeks and refuses to stand up straight, with wings he never appears to illusion away like the rest of us. His name is Peraen Sunslink, but answers to ‘Pear’. Please, somebody, -anybody-. Take him off of our hands.
Warning, he is a horrible fel crystal addict and thistlehead. If you take him, be, ahem, prepared."
- Signed, Slayer of the Illidari
“Lookin’ for a girl with a ting for fetishes. Also has to be open minded and doesn’t mind a little animal blood while chanting to the gods.”
- P.S. “What is a gold shire and why does it keep sending me letters?”