❤ Your character has posted an ad on a dating board

“Looking for a woman who can show me how Mag’harockin their body can be. Serious offers only.”

4 Likes

“Looking for someone with at least half a brain and can actually function in society. Reading this already puts you in the one percent, which is the bare minimum. Other half of a brain to perform basic functions is a massive plus, though at this rate a complete myth. Prove me wrong.”

3 Likes

Ah! What fun! I believe i had a joke about scarlet halls, but i blushed too much.

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Single Draenei shaman looking for surly Dwarven man willing to reach up and take life by the horns.

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“You want to know why they are called the /Scarlet Halls/ ? Well, you’ll just have to come down and join me. I’m sure it isn’t the books they keep.”

Nudge nudge wink wink

/e pulls out a Steamy Romance Novel!

“What is this? A conveniently placed Romance Novel involving a Warlock and a Scarlet? Oh this is bound to be good.”

/e opens the book, there are no pages

“When it is filled of course.”

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Ah! The Scarlet Monastery. 'Tis a silly place.

There has ever been a fine line between a Scarlet and a warlock in my opinion, and its normally a latex one.

#hastopushthepramalot

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“Oh, you want to slay me, then lay me, is that it? Ah-ha, ha ha ha. You are cute Dear, we will write our own story. We will dance, fight, and then you will learn your place. After all.”

/e She adorns a devilish sh!t grin as her eyes glow.

“You are in for a bad time, the Light won’t save you either. I will burn you for pleasure, spare you the pain by TAKING SOUL!”

/e holds out her right hand and channels demonic and fel energies to draw a sliver of the Man’s soul from his being. He would feel it. As if a blade cut right through his chest and tore through his plate armor.

“Come at me, Dear. We will write a story together.” She bows respectfully, snickering.

(This is fun thank you Guidonis!)

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Emits Girlfish Shriek of Existential Torment

Please, Ive got so much to give!

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Personally I’m more of a guyfish sort of person. Female fish are less active than males, and an inactive fish is a boring fish.

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AND NOW THEY ARE TRYING TO TURN ME INTO A FISH.
#bodyunclear

1 Like

“Well you don’t look like a fish.”

#WellHeGotBetter

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Then again there was that one time, with Azshara and the fish. She married that fish. And other things. Perhaps this will work out.

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“Single Male Dark Iron Warlock looking for someone to adventure with. Fresh out of the mountain, with a world to explore.
Cons: I have an extremely hard name to pronounce, I smoke, and I’m a Warlock.
Pros: I’m quite respectful, considerate and love to philosophize.
Expect camping trips, good meals, and plenty of warmth.
Prefer longer-living races, such as Draenei and Kaldorei.”
At the end of the cleanly written advert is contact information, then his name signed in the traditional, Dwarven Runic style.
Hvyrrgm; Dwarrowdelf of Khazad-dûm.

(Since everyone else is making their ads legit… I will too.)

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Comes out of hiding long enough to quickly staple an add to the board before vanishing again.

“I’m looking for a man that has an open mind, and a stable one at that. I don’t mind if my relationship works out like a plate of spaghetti; in that we can start on the outside with the no-strings frilly stuff and work to the deep meaty emotional core, or that we start with the emotional stuff and work out to the fun stuff. Either way the trip will be full of carbs and ultimately bad for you.”

2 Likes

"LOST
Misplaced a rather eerie-looking tome somewhere in the Mage Quarters of Stormwind a day back. Please do NOT view its pages. In the event you have glanced within, PLEASE seek a priest or an asylum posthaste. Do NOT stare directly into any disembodied eyes which may appear.

Reward: The warmth of helping someone in need."

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A Conan looking for his Valeria, watch Conan the Barbarian and you will understand…

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Lonely girl looking for other girls to become friends with, preferably single and gay.

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“Friends” wink wink nudge nudge

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“Loud, adventurous type who spends her days hunting beasts and eating grubs by a warm fire. Eats cheese by the wheel and drinks ale by the keg, looking for her right hand in monster slaying. Lets arm wrestle and see who’s stronger.”

“Let me guess you’re smart…

This ain’t your first darkmoon faire. And you’re not about to fall for the claims by so many of the other profiles on this board, so here’s a refreshing perspective, the truth.

I pay my taxes. I wear socks. I’m an honest man with a decent career and strong moral values. So while I could regale you with stories of what it is like to be a mage, or how I look like the former varian wrynn… I know that good communication is the foundation for a good relationship. So if we are on the same wavelength, read on…”

2 Likes