. . . Wake you up tomorrow morning . What is your first reaction? Go !
“Was it good for you?”
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why are you wearing sunglasses while you’re sleeping
Worse blind date ever.
Must be a lesbian than
Why are you wearing heavy armor to bed?
“Could you be a dear and bring me some coffee?”
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How are you at bed height?
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How did you get into my apartment.
Oh gods my sleep paralysis demon is here again.
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“Do you like waffles? Let’s have waffles.”
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What’s with the Succubus that’s behind you?
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Why do elves exist?
Do you need to go potty? Outside?
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I imagine we live in some kind of Odd Couple arrangement. I’m the sloppy, lazy one and you’re the well groomed, polite one. I don’t really question why you woke me up, but it was likely in a cheerful flourish of swiftly opening my drapes. I’ve gotten used to it, though I secretly despise it.
You make back bacon for the two of us. I yell at you for burning the coffee.
It’s a one-sided relationship.
Edit: I come home one day to find you depressed. The neighbors have been gossiping about us, and it’s tearing you up. I brush it off. You begin to resent me.
We go out separate ways in a year, for the better. The toxicity and arguments were beginning to get out of control. You broke something I cared for.
That’s when I knew what I had done to you, and it broke me.
Decades pass. I’m living at the YMCA and collecting a meager pension. I keep your picture in my wallet, and each morning I run my fingers over that wide, beautiful moustache. I wonder if you ever found another jawless zombie man who could appreciate you. Not a rogue like me. A priest, maybe.
Each day I throw the drapes open to hopefully feel that little spark once more. The counselor says I deserve it, not to be so hard on myself.
But I know you deserved better.
It was more than just the Odd Couple.
Edit 2: I was 76. The medical examiner asks my roommate if he heard anything in the night.
“No, not really,” he says. Then he thinks.
“Actually, he was breathing heavily. Whispering in his sleep, I think.”
“What did he say?” asks the examiner.
“…Sernius.”
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“Well, the zombie apocalypse has begun…time to grab ye old chainsaw…”
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“Good morning, Herne!” Hugs
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I’m sorry that I don’t remember ever meeting you.
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i blast the dograt with a fireblast
Gods what happened last night at the winterveil party??
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