Tried converting me to a sunwalker
He kept using up all my make-up and then proclaiming he was the wild thing, yeah⌠no.
I asked him to go into cat form and he got all excited. âWhat are we going to do?â I said, âYou are going to rake the yard.â He must be doing a thorough job as I havenât seen him in a couple of days. /sigh
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She kept beating me up. I separated from her for domestic violence charges.
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Beating her up? Okay, I did cast levitate while she was sleeping and she might have floated off the bed before it expired. I mean even her ravager thought it was funny. To make things perfect, I keep seeing her in the back yard as sheâs obviously lost and now the windchaser has come back into the house looking for its usual afternoon bowl of Captân Crunch. Going to be a looooong divorce. /sigh
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She thought her hair looked better than mine.
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My hair looks better than his, he couldnât handle the competition.
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She wanted to set me on fire for my new hairstyle.
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Not a fan of Alice in Wonderland, Xerris needs to go
He couldnât stand having an unbirthday party, even when I got those fancy darnassian cheeses which are super expensive now.
Threw a fit when I suggested a bonfire for some reason and threatened to throw me in. A kick in the shins later and he was being mauled by all of my pets⌠oops
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STFleas.
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how she expected us to go out:
also the constant reminders about who ran Bartertown got old
Alright, you live with your Celine Dion legs
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Always trying to fatten me up. 
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Never shut up about the voodoo but wouldnât share.
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Made deer jerky outta the relativesâŚit was hooooooorrrifying⌠
And thenâŚthen she fed them to me! 
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I didnât hear you complaining while you were eating half my supply.
You fed them to yourself after telling me it was the most useful your Uncle Haversham had ever been.
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I said I liked it with the eye patch on and that was apparently a red line.
He glowed so brightly every night, I couldnât get any sleepâŚ
Her pet found my Drink Me potion supply and became so tiny we couldnât find the poor thing for a week. I tried to apologize but she wouldnât have it. So like her pet I had a Drink Me potion and snuck out of the house.
I am talking to the Steamweedle divorce agency in the morning. I just hope I can get the house back.
There is a problem with wanting to be 20 feet tall?
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She put a whole new meaning to size matters with her potions.
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heâs a nudist er âNaturalistâ who doesnât believe in deodorant, who only wears socks and sandals, has a pet squirrel named âNutâ who he spends more time with.
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