He liked spicing things up a bit so I um… mind controlled him. It was fantastic. At least until I heard him in the bathroom pouring bleach over himself and sobbing for his mawmaw. I guess there is kinky and there there is unnatural and making a Blood Elf do a really good Li’l Abner impression apparently violated some law of the universe and now even mawsworn won’t take him.
I left him in a basket on Yifftron’s porch with a “Please adopt me” note pinned to him before heading to the tavern. /sigh
So there was a minor explosion…an earthquake…a tsunami …. and a dust storm… none of this was my fault, let me stress none of this was my fault. However she refused to believe me, and without trust there is no relationship so after the pets expressed their displeasure with her by ruining carpet, I went back to my garrison.
Gornur, clinging to a piece of Draenor as it was hurled clear of the explosion he clearly caused. “I didn’t do that.”
I convinced her ogre crew to unionize. We picketed her home demanding dental insurance and overtime pay. She hired a crew of goblin union busters and there was a bloody battle going on. I got bored and took off to the pub.
She drunkenly tried to unionize my pets. I mean I may have several booze bunkers scattered around but I’ve never tried to get animals to sign contracts.I didn’t bother with any Rube Goldberg type divorce equipment I just dropped her off at Gornur’s stink hovel.
Didn’t want to fall into the usual trope of an elf falling for a human so got out of it while I still could. Plus she didn’t like when I was staring at Orc and Tauren ladies.
He said that I wasnt tall or strong enough for him, so I punched him in the crotch. Betting THAT was strong enough, pretty boy!
Thought about raiding his stable for myself but, really, that’s just rude between hunters. So I just took my crew and went looking for fun.
i was happy i found another little dograt after what Sixenn did to me. luckily it had some bits of leather laying around. it was easy enough to get back home. but then the dograt died. how sad! i buried it in Sixenn’s yard. payback.
Wouldn’t be the fir… Oh, wait I’m Shocked!
Called goblin animal cruelty, or G.A.C. A wholly owned subsidiary of Ze goblins.
They have a union too, A little rat thing runs it. He doesn’t get to touch me either, but he got to put his mitts on Talee. He seemed pretty happy about that, as they loaded her in an Elune Vb disguised a pound truck.
Tried to unionize the elementals against me, and then tried to kill them when they refused to turn against me. I nobly jumped in to save them from her murderous ways and ended up using the high ground to toss her into the divorce rocket, that was then launched off the divorce cliff, and went flying into the divorce volcano.
I am a victim of circumstance.
We’ve been over this…the old broken wishing well is not my stink hovel.
He wouldn’t stop eating toilet paper, something about, cleaning itself
So i kicked him out while he had a fight with his other Ex’s.
i also went for chili fries and a toasted ham sandwich with pepperjack cheese…
is it because everyone thought you were human again?
isn’t obvious?.. human
I thought she was a brewmaid. Pretty quickly became clear she was no maiden
It should have been obvious…
Stinky died and emerged from the Maw with a haunted look on his face. Somehow this my fault, even though the hyena had accidentally catapulted himself over wonky statue that fell on him.
So I whacked with her a shovel when she came after me and then left on the street.
He kept calling me Stinky and tried to hit me with a shovel 
I just couldn’t take it no more 
she ran away when i took out a shovel to start digging a hole for a foundation for the new dograt house i was planning to make.
When she said she was a void elf, I didn’t know she had a void in her chest as well…
Talking about her heart here…
Refused to kiss me after finding out that I was not a male. Then she kept trying to stab me with her rapiers. Fortunately, as a cunning and devious individual, I was able to distract her by throwing a ball as she was coming towards me. Unfortunately, as a Vulpera, I could not resist chasing it myself. Accidentally knocked her over a cliff when she reached the ball first and I couldn’t stop in time.
At least i could escape while she was gliding down.
Furry things really aren’t my type.
Tried to sell Kurama because he was too furry for her tastes. So I earth shocked her off the divorce cliff.