big sad that i got skipped q-q
ouch but fits xD
3 Likes
She was so easy to ignore I forgot we were married.
4 Likes
Bah dumm-Tish!
2 Likes
this didnt age well xD
4 Likes
You did. And thats why weāre still together.
Each evening he would go out drinking with his dwarven friends and not come home so I had to fetch him back late at night. Everytime I resentfully entered that awful, crowded pub full of sweaty unhygenic dwarves bodies and called for him to where he was sprawled drunk and practically unresponsive in a corner someone would shove a sharp cutting axe into my hand thinking they were being helpful. I eventually used it to cut ties with the little drunken monster.
3 Likes
I am honestly not sure how we even met in the first place. Sheās blind, Iām blind, love is blind. Everything was fine for a while, but recently she keeps complaining about drunken dwarf stench. Itās been months since I had dwarf, the oder doesnāt linger that long. The other day however, I heard her stumbling out of our neighbors hovel, she was completely drunk and shouting that sheās sick of fetching some drunken dwarf from the tavern every night. Everything made sense then. She was seeing someone else. Iāve packed up my things and am headed back to Brill. Now could someone kindly turn me to face the right direction.
5 Likes
She wandered into my bunker one day thinking it was Brill. Once I stored half her stuff I introduced her to the Dirvoco-rocket.
3 Likes
I caught trying to take half of my stuff, so I knocked her out, took half of her half, and then launched her into the sea from the divorce catapult.
3 Likes
Somehow he stole a divorcapult. I had the Sling shot boys weight him down with Molotov cocktails, which he was all for, not realizing what they were. Once he was suitably flammable one of them knocked him out by dropping a fist on top of the wolf stink mask.
They loaded him on the divorcapult, set him and the infernal divorcapult on fire and shot him at the divorco-rocket. Fire and rocket fuel mix about as well as Gornur and, well, anyone. It went boom in spectacular fashion. Thereās a new Gulf where Qamaits used to liveā¦
I count this as a triple win. No more Gornur, no more divorce-rocket, and a nice sunset explosion while I enjoyed my Mojito.
7 Likes
Unbeknownst to Sixenn I had relocated my booze bunker to a new well defended location weeks before the cataclysm that destroyed the decoy rocket. It seems my long term plan to use Stinky to gather information on my enemies was a resounding success.
4 Likes
She was into some straight up BTSM stuff, and would keep me chained up to the wall our home in the booze bunker.
2 Likes
I caught him dancing in a pink tutu and singing about how heās a sexy little lizard.
3 Likes
I thought he was a Worgen.
5 Likes
This looked like it could have been a good match but she was so into the shadow. One day when we were enjoying some sāmores, I asked her, based on her name, if she was the shadow side of Beyonce. She smiled and started to sing All the Single Ladies as she carried her stick inside. After spending an hour getting the cooked marshmallow off my tusks and went inside to look for her. Looks like Iām a single lady. /sigh
5 Likes
Penumbrea hid all the alcohol for a reason I may not know.
Donāt understand why I make rhymes when I am Sober.
Embarrassed in front of hers parents by Heroic Leaping into the window.
One last thing that was forgotten when moving with was the Toaster.
2 Likes
Medothrill kept storing booze all over the place, which was fine for a whileā¦ until he left Kobold moonshine inside of an attire rearanger I was working on, which caused the beverage to go from liquid to gas to plasma at which point it burned through my workbench, the floor, the foundation, dirt, bedrockā¦
Itās still burning a week later, and my Legal team is doing their damndest to make it clear to Therazine that it is neither my fault nor within my financial abilities to repair the damage caused by the moonshine as it works itās way to the very core of the planet.
2 Likes
Marrying Yifftron was a mistake. Look, Iām not against furries, especially literal ones. Theyāre lovely people and typically make good spouses like anyone else. Thatās why we were wed. Little lovely adorable vulp. But this one, man. When Iām upset about a furry, itās because of the actual physical fur. THE HAIR GETS EVERYWHERE.
In the bed, in the bath, in my gear, around the hilt of my blades. In my bloody eye wraps! Do you know how many times Iāve tried to use my eye beams to rid myself of it? Do you know how many things Iāve accidentally (well, not always accidentally) set aflame? No, I donāt think you do. Neither do I. Iāve lost count. I struggled to write my letters to my lawyer because somehow my personal inkwell thatās kept in a drawer and is sealed and never used by anyone other than me had some fel-loving gods forsaken fur caked up in it too! I think theyāre sabotaging me. Iād rather be with a filthy little bald goblin at this point.
Iām taking half of everything on our property and our banks, just you wait. Except for the fur. A lovely parting gift will that make.
3 Likes
She threw out the cloak that Wrathion made for me, I loved that thing.
4 Likes
she stole my cloak that Wrathion made for me 
i thought she was pure
3 Likes