You divorce the player above you (Part 1)

You always ate my homework.
Always.
And no one ever believed me.
Ever.
You’d just sit there, smiling, wagging your tail.

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all you ever do is play wow… like i want to go to applebees

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I took him out to eat and he infected all the waitstaff with the plague. We left when they swarmed the kitchen and started eating the chef. Without getting our meal I might add.

Can’t take him anywhere.

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Her farts were worse than the plague.

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One wonders how he could tell. That dead wolf head smells like several outhouses lined up in series…

And somehow, it has survived at least five trips into the volcano.

I appealed to Thrall himself, to toss it into the maelstrom, for the good of all. He nearly barfed just looking at it.

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“Thrall” turned out to be some random orc cosplaying as Thrall. I proved this by getting the actual Thrall, who was a bit bemused by the situation, to show and applaud me by how I diligently washed my wolf mask.

For all I cared for her, I knew it was time to leave Sixenn after her nefarious deceit.

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To much fur…

Shave sometime you barking rug!

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Kept screaming YOU ARE NOT PREPARED!!! in the bed room every night. not to mention she had to wear the mask so the room would be dark since her eyes made the room a bright fel green. End came quickly as I got fed up being stabbed by those horns. BUT she was way better than the furry one knew how to get kinky.

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We actually got along really well once she cut back on death gripping me. I’d ask her if she’d like to get trolled and she’d laugh and call me the cure to frost fever.

One night I told her that I wish I could have been there to prevent her original death. She got very still and finally told me she originally was a hunter and was in this running battle in a forest when she was surrounded and disengaged over a cliff. I tried. The Light, the goddess, the warchief and my ancestors are my witnesses that I tried so hard to not laugh but all I could see was Wile E. Coyote falling into the canyon with that “thud” and little puff of smoke. Needless to say, I’m back to being alone. /sigh

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I used Thunderstorm to knock Stinky off of a cliff, after the hyena tried humping my leg, and she accused me of animal cruelty and refused to speak to me.

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Peeing on it while tossing it in a pile of dirt is not washing it no matter what you keep telling yourself.

What he isn’t saying is that Stinky bit him in the bum as he went over so they both went over the cliff. Apparently laughing for a solid ten minutes was grounds for a divorce.

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We got back together to look after Stinky following the leg humping incident. His injury was, um, embarrassing, requiring some delicate application of various balms and a splint… we both found his predicament humorous, but had to keep it down around the hyena, he being notoriously sensitive.

So everything was fine. That is until Toasty decided it would be fun to poke at the injured member… With a stick of Seaformium. I didn’t see any of this. What I did see was Stinky moving fast one way, howling, Toasty, giggling, the other, with Qamaits hot on his heals weilding an axe almost as big as herself!

Sibling rivalry is too be expected. Axe murder, not so much. So I signed her up for goblin blind date/divorce… Gornur needs help with his aching as…

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Kurama and Snowy helped Stinky and Toasty bond, encouraging Sixenn to give me another chance. However it was naught to be after a bizarre series of events that ended with us banned Booty Bay, the Dark Portal glowing a deep colorful pink, the town of Goldshire of wanting to burn as demonic witches, and the squirrels of the Eastern Kingdoms worshiping me as their god.

For reasons I failed to understand, she took extreme objection to that last one and thus I knew it was time to end things.

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He laughed when we killed Nazgrim.

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He made false accusations of me laughing at Nazgrim’s death, thus I sent my legion of squirrels upon him.

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I saw what you did with those poor squirrels and that peanut butter!

shudder

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A Naga, three murlocs and whats her name from Maradon. You should be ashamed… I can’t look at you.

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Too religious. “The Light” this and “The Light” that. I cursed when I stubbed my toe and she tried to Cleanse me of the demon that was possessing me. I’m not possessed woman!

Divorced again and off to the bar.

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Woke up married to the dwarf again and he was disturbed by the shrine that squirrels made for me. I thought he would come around but when he tried to destroy the shrine, I knew it was time to end these.

One thunderstorm into the volcano later I was single.

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The “shrine” was just a pile of squirrel poop and nut shells. But maybe viewing it through the reek cloud coming off the wolf head stink mask it looked like something glorious…

I knew better, of course. I took one look at it before entering the hut, shot Gornur with my newly supplied goblin tranq / divorce paper serving dart gun.

He keeled over face first into the poop pile, out cold. I darted him again, it’s the only way to be sure…

I rescued the squirrels. They now live in Patagonia with the bunnies. Send hazelnuts. Bless you.

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