Sword fetish. Which was ok. Until it became obvious that mine was bigger. That’s when he started getting hostile.
I don’t deal with hostile short stacks. I hire other hostile short stacks for that.
4 Likes
She was thrilled that Snowy pooped on Qamaits’s head. She was less thrilled when my Fire Hawk mount pooped on her head. Laughing at that one ended our marriage.
1 Like
With his thing about poop and seeing fem tauren’s in coconuts I’m starting to worry that helm is actually taking over him. I decided I was just getting paranoid when I heard the water running and thought I’d poked my head in the shower for a bit of fun with him; but… he wasn’t under the water as he was giving himself a bath. By spirits of eye bleach, I was right, the helmet is turning him into the Lick King. Horrified, I ran out nearly undressed which was embarrassing until the tips starting rolling in. /sigh
5 Likes
Pen ran past me half naked followed closely by an all naked, except for his helmet, Gornur. Curious I decided to follow. There isn’t enough moonshine in Alandinis’ shack to heal the mental scars of what I saw.
4 Likes
Far be it for me to belittle the disabled, but Qamits lack of depth perception made things really awkward; From the number of times she bumped into things to her numerous attempts to literally jump into bed it got to be too much.
Maybe when she’s a little older, a little calmer we can try again.
3 Likes
Screaming bucket list while throwing him while riding my fox mount, while my fox pet Kurama rode Snowy was too much for him to handle.
1 Like
Everyone was screaming Gornur; the fox you “rode” wasn’t one of the lothian ones but one of the more common ones which would have also been screaming but it had a 300 lbs orc sitting on it being crushed into the dirt.
1 Like
- It took a LOT of cookies to get him to serve the divorce paper’s on Qamaits.
3 Likes
You didn’t give him enough because I never got them.
2 Likes
We gave it another go on account of apparently not being divorced from last time but then she admitted to using them as toilet paper. I let this go only for her to attack me like 5 days on the grounds of animal cruelty. Something about that poor fox, I responded by throwing a bagel at her head…which oddly enough just mad her madder.
2 Likes
They were pretty nice but we had to part ways after I learned they liked bagels more then muffins. Clearly muffins are better!
Lured me back in with muffin’s. Mmmm, blueberry. Banana-nut, heaven.
But alas it was just a ruse. Her real plan was to revive Alandinis’s meat pie empire. Except now it would be children and dumb animals instead of hobo’s.
Stinky, being a particularly dumb animal, went for this hook, line, and baking cup.
I finally caught on when the gingerbread house was about half done. By then Stinky resembled a Pug. And not in any kind of good way.
Ze goblins are selling 6"x6" squares of gingerbread, if anyone is interested.
2 Likes
Screaming Bankai while having Snowy pick up Stinky and then having Kurama drop kick him when Snowy let him go was hilarious to me…and set her off. I’m currently in hiding…
Big muscled orc with a wolf hat, seemed perfect for me. everything was going good, great even, till I scrolled up and realiseed he’s been divorced over a hundred times allready, that was when I realised it was time to call it a day and move on. Shame that, I do like some green meat on a night.
He’s a hunter, I’m a hunter what could go wrong. What could go wrong? I’ll tell you what could go wrong. His three hour a day grooming regimen not only left me with cold showers I had no closet space because of all the hygiene products. I couldn’t take it so I took half the grooming stuff and kicked him out the door.
1 Like
Was overly grooming my pets to the point that she almost made them bald.
Kept trying to give me this weird smelling juice in some skull shaped cup saying i’d be ‘stronger’ and ‘better’
…I like the new red tan but he seemed sad i didn’t turn green, so i ended it for his sake
i called the divorce off, it is cheaper to keep them and go get a mistress.
don’t let him lie
…it was the elf waggle (skip me)
Walls had a nice reserve built up getting cheap on his mistresses. Until I told them that they could work for me for 75% profit in my new Undercity Red Light District (Courtesy of the Plague and Divine Protection). Was it really my fault that they took him for a spin in their magic pickpocket grease and siphoned all his accounts into a mutual fund founded by Penumbrae (Only in name, for tax purposes) and left him broke and penniless? Yes, It might be. Anyway, because he was broke, he couldn’t afford a pro-bono lawyer, so I got to keep the ring this time around.
1 Like