She dissed my wolf mask so I dissed her face. Turns out she was a bit sensitive.
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Communication problems. I didn’t dis it. I washed it. Because it stank. I also brushed it, blow dried it, and gave it a lil cupie pig tail with a bow. So cute!
Of course he didn’t appreciate it. Said the soap I used gave his delicate skin a rash…
So I found all my stuff in a heap out in front of the hut. “Le sigh”
Time to go get an ice cream sandwich.
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I don’t know how long I’ve been locked in this cellar but Sixenn’s "goblin lawyers " are actually demons in the Litigation Legion. The last thing I remember before waking up in the dark was hearing ‘breach of contract’ screamed at me. I’m not sure what I did but if anyone finds this note I’ve scrawled in the dirt I have one piece of advice. Run, run and don’t ever stop running. It’s too late for me but if I can help one other person to escape this fate my sacrifice will not have been in vain.
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Tried to sacrifice me to the goblin lawyers. After murdering them I discovered she fled.
I fell in love with his elements…but I never knew where he was going to put his totems (yes he was that kind of Orc!) In the beginning it was exciting, but after awhile, it was always being about HIS elements. I left him in search of a mate who would put me first instead of totems.
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She told me she wanted someone to put her first, so I did. I took her to face the legions of N’zoth, and then I said “You first, love.” and gave her a push. To this day, I do not understand why she was upset with me.
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Ah Ha! You admit it! My lawyer is so on this! Btw forum confessions are legal documents in the court of wow law! I’d say die fool but you are already there…
Btw ladies…never trust someone with a full face helm!!
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Oh good! I love lawyers! And here I thought we were divorced! Thank you so much for the lovely new meat puppet!
Dinner at my place?
We were forced to separate after the alliance and horde got word as relationships across factions is considered treason and if I refused I’d be made into an example also she kinda smelled of rotting flesh so
“uwu”
Enough said.
He clearly found my wanted posters and kept looking at them and me everytime he got the chance…
not my fault i was drunk and naked that day! trade district has got to stop selling the strong stuff on holidays!
/looks at the intern now being held hostage by a gang of westfall bandits
Yep…
just fine.
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Ha! That day. He’s drunk and naked seven days in a row, then starts again at the top…
I didn’t even need a lawyer to get me out of this one. The cute little intern’s handled it.
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I would not approach people who only isolate themselves in a bubble and are emos out of nowhere.
I paid no heed at first to those rumours about belf addiction and, er, lack of endurance. I emerge from our torrid union a sadder, but wiser orc.
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We got along well BUT they seemed really sad and nothing I could do seemed to cheer them up. After trying everything I knew, I took my leave and wished them the best.
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She’d give me that scary look and growl that she wanted to nibble her Kibble, which was her nickname for me. Her bite was so much better than her bark. Wow. I thought we were really into each other but then for some reason she got mad when I called her by the pet name Kur. /sigh
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Pen was great. But, they say the pen was mightier than the sword and in my case it was quite true. You see, when I grabbed her by the tusks and sheathed my blade, something small and aggressive jumped from her body to mine and was soon joined by hundreds of its little friends. Now, troll regeneration may not notice Worgen fleas, but we blood death knights pay active attention to what happens to our blood pool and when it keeps getting inexplicably lower, we see an apothecary.
Suffice to say, the apothecary was delighted. Myself? Less so.
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I was rather upset that the hyena fleas he’d picked up from consorting with [redacted]'s lawyers got blamed on me. When he showed up reeking of flea bath I held up a bottle of rose water and shouted “karaatu barada nikto” and told that space Gort to leave. I’m almost sad we nuked Sixtenn. /sigh
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this is a complicated story…
But shorten it out.
Alcohol
longer story?
We got married While drunk…, got a divorce a week after, While drunk again…
And then while we were in court trying to divide things, we ended up getting married again, and while Drunk again as well.
Dang what ever was in those drinks was really powerful… gotta ask ol’Viking Santa for a keg of next time.
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It was the chilli fries. We were at a party and Hawkéns brought his most famous dish! We started talking … and drinking.
He has recovering from his recent marriage with Penumbrae - as was I. We talked about our marriage to her and all the fun times we had … and drank some more.
We ended up bar hopping, and somewhere along the line, got married, we went drinking to celebrate.
It turns out though the only thing Hawkéns would cook for me was the chilli fries, and while they are really good, I do need other things to eat, like toast.
So we called it a day, and went drinking to celebrate our divorce.
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