Kept following me around resurrecting everyone who was in the wake of my path of death and destruction.
Can a guy just VENT for once, Sixenn? Who’s the one that never wanted to be alive?
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Edgelord. I thought it was cute at first, even if he’s a little short. Then the Bunnocolypse started. That path of death and destruction, it was in the park. He was stomping around, blood boiling all the little bunnies. And yelling, “I didn’t want to be alive”. It was too much, so I sent him back to Hot Topic. And rescued all the bunnies. Send carrots. Bless you.
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I didn’t realize that when she moved in she’d be bringing almost 100 rescued bunnies with her. I mean, I like pets as much as the next person but come on!
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We would often wake up to a blizzard of feathers because I couldn’t help accidentally ripping open all the fluffy pillows with my moose antlers during the night. She didn’t like the feathers getting up her nose and the sneezing fits it brought on.
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I let her slide for the moose antlers, cause I mean, I have claws, but when she called me a sweaty dog, I snarled back “Who are YOU the one to be talking, you Horde loving, panda powered, stink-ridden, Indian cow!” She took great offense to this, and the next morning she was gone. Oops. I need to watch my bad mouth, it can sometimes get the best of me!
constantly yelled at me for 6 consecutive hours after I asked if she could stop insulting everyone who asked if she “can not get your hair all over the furniture”
Clean freak. Bunnies don’t shed. Ok, maybe they do but sooo cute! I digress. He was soooo worried about his brushed Vulpera suede sectional and the fact that maybe 50 bunnies were eyeing it as a new hutch. He flipped out, lost his cool, and began insulting me, bunnies, and Illidan! After the Alandanis affair, and the lack of sympathy on her part for the bunnies ordeal I had to give them up.
Care packages for the bunnies can be sent to the law offices of Schiester, Schiester, and Flakviser, Goblin slums, Orgrimmar.
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Had an odd obsession with bunnies. Skip me
I don’t believe in kink shaming, but she wanted people to skip her. I’m just not into that, sorry.
Also, bunnies send their love. <3
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She keeps starting an off shoot of multiple marriages, when i saw her marrying not one but like 20 other people, i knew i had to split…
This is clearly a plot by the toasters to run our marriage system!
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I thought we got along well, and they really seemed to like my cookies. But I became worried when they kept -forgetting- to pick up their traps around the house after working on them. Maybe I was overly worried but I asked for a divorce and we parted ways. Also, I had a sneaking suspicion they wanted to tame me.
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She made a lot of cookies, but they had a slightly tainted flavor I just couldn’t identify. Then people were always showing up in her closet at all times. The dozen firey imps ruining the furniture was the last straw for me.
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She called me an imp
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I was really drunk. I just can’t
Got rune magic confused with mana when she was drunk. Summoned a dwarf to marry.
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He named me …
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Didn’t want to be named
Going to happen anyway.
Lady Koolwaters Calamity Jane Dogbreath.
So the bunnies were gone. She claimed that she’d found them all good homes but I found several large batches of stew in her freezer. I agreed to give it another try sans bunnies. I became suspicious when the reception was catered by the firm of Schiester, Schiester, and Flakviser. The Goblin Engineered ™ toaster they gave us was really nice though. Needless to say the marriage didn’t last long and I am now broke and toasterless.
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Please. The bunnies are all living like kings in Patagonia. This marriage would have worked except for the fact she broke the very strict terms of her NDA with said goblins about the catering. Said goblins carted her off for indentured service in a Kaja’mite mine. Our pre-nup has a goblin interference clause. (ironically, demanded by her) and I am, as they say, out there again.