Wow, you’d think with all the lack of listening you do with them you’d appreciate the occasional stimulation in the area.
How about drawing the line at the ears? We both know that wasn’t even in the first ten places we tried.
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No, but the nose was… How does that even work?!
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Look it was either the hooves or the tentacles and the choice was yours, you’ve made your slimy…slimy bed now sleep in it.
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Kept having to dust ash out of fur every morning.
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The Family filed for the Divorce, shortly after having me committed for alcohol rehabilitation. They claimed that the drinking had gotten to out of hand, when I married the Living-room carpet.
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I ‘rescued’ Izzabelle from the alcohol rehabilitation center.
We had a great time picking up where we left off, from one of our many marriages. We even brought a piece of the carpet along, I think it married the toaster, not sure it happened in Goldshire.
What happens in Goldshire stays in Goldshire.
Either way I got arrested for rescuing Izzabelle, and she got put back into rehab.
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She got upset when I insisted she was the woman in this relationship. Everyone knows male Blood Elves are extinct.
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When Berusein and Palatina caught me with Kinndy in the fel spa they were very upset. I pointed out that she was a gnome and that it meant I was tapering off other marriages. That got two facepalms from Berusein and Palatina and nasty whack on the knee from Kinndy. Ouch.
Not sure how but ended up in rehab with Izzabelle. We’re sending out SOS’s in a bottle but were too drunk after the 11th message to send any more. /sigh
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So I had to pull a lot of connections and strings to get Penumbrae out… and a lot of bloody gold. One the the things that I had to agree with was make a deal with the clerks office to stop sending them divorce papers between us.
When they finally let her out I gave her a nice hot Pandaran spiked coffee. and started out with. “You are lucky I got your SOS and like you enough to drop 6.6 million gold in bribery. Especially when your last brew of potions left running from a flying faceless bat country.”
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He spent all my money trying to get this troll out of jail…
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Slept with a twinkie getting cream everywhere… poor hostess
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The twinkie satisfied me more than this guy.
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She did things with a twinkie that no pastry should have to see.
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You didn’t want to be around her during her time of the month…
She Wanted all of the attention.
Specially from a twinkie.
I know a psycho when i see one… Specially what she did with said twinkie…
So in order to protect the remaining food including the chili fries i had.
I left her and took everying…
Shes in the mental place now, and my food is safe.
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Reads Hawken’s normally lucid prose and realizes she may have left some of her Timothy Leary Mojo sauce in his spice cabinet. Whoops.
Though I do have my suspicions that the toaster may have written this and the real Hawkens is trussed with the power cord. Heads to the tavern to get reinforcements, though it usually takes a few days to form a semi-coherent plan to form a semi coherent plan, especially since Palatina insists on mapping out the adventure with stick figures on a page so she gets the flip animation. It’s adorable to watch Malochai try to stay supportive while maintaining his belf dignity. /gigglesighs
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First, she’d head to the tavern “to get reinforcements.”
Then, she just stopped making excuses and would go earlier and earlier in the day.
Eventually it got to the point where the “semi-coherent plan to form a semi-coherent plan” would be just a longwinded, rambling rationalization for why she never needed to leave the tavern again.
All that said, she directed an independent film and… her movie was genius… she just… didn’t remember making it.
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All she did was complain. So my dog chewed up her shoes - who needs more than one pair of shoes anyway? There was cat hair on the couch, the fox used her closet as a litter box. Complain, complain complain.
She said that either the animals went or she did. So I help her back her bags.
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She loved animals! It was great! I loved animals! Our pets were everywhere, pet fur was everywhere. We got along famously.
So why the divorce.
I was really sleepy one morning, and was fixing to go hunting, I didn’t have my coffee yet.
I put a leash on her!
It was a common mistake!
Anyways, she said if I couldn’t tell her from the pets, she was out of there.
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It was creepy. She looked too much like a toddler and I stepped on her accidentally one day.
Not to mention I couldn’t fit.