Playable high elves.
Shaman tanks
You cannot leave M+ until the run is over
Bringing back PVP servers
Brewmasters have been buffed and no longer are the worst thing in the entire game!
. . .
2 Likes
Tank Brann damage has been restored, but only for those who give him 400,000 gold.
All flying mounts removed.
Mounts now have a 5% chance of exploding in Undermine. This is Goblin territory what did you expect? 5,000 gold to ressurect your mount. Time is money friend!
New raid: Uther Lightbringer is back and he is determined to rid Moonguard of the plague that is Goldshire once and for all. Join him on his quest to slay the degenerates and cleanse the town once and for all.
New event released along with raid: Once every half hour all players within a 100 yard radius of Goldshire become killable by anyone.
Delve Companions : Use your alt characters as companions for your delves. Customize them, choose their talents, and even their voice lines!
âNoob, get out of the fireâ
âYour ilvl sucks, get better gearâ
âIâd rather join a pug than adventure with youâ
âAre we there yet?â
If idle for too long, companions will begin pulling for you, stating that you are taking too long. After dying numerous times they will hearth out and leave your group. We want players to have an authentic dungeon experience.
New Race: Kobold. You can only attack or cast spells with a candle. If you die, your candle is lost and you must reroll again. Dont let anyone take your candle!
Transmog revamp : 30 day cooldown to prevent wardrobe abuse. Players may be reported for skimpy attire and turned into fruit permanently after review.
All former ground mounts removed and all players must use D.R.I.V.E to get around and must follow rules accordingly.
Cities now have speed limits for ground mounts. Upon being stopped for speeding, players will have to spend 10,000 gold or go to jail for 20 minutes.
Players caught running over animals will face fines and eventually jail time.
Players caught in D.R.I.V.E accidents must provide proof of insurance and ID or face jail time.
New emote: Hawkalugi. No connection to spit as that was considered rude and offensive.
Offensive flirt emotes restored, but now require consent from other party along with a required captcha to prevent abuse.
Patch notes renamed to Go Touch Grass notes
All players must now complete the Heigan Dance encounter before being able to enter a mythic raid.
Tanks are now able to throw peanuts at party members in mythic plus. Being hit with a peanut 3 times within 10 seconds silences target and renders them unable to communicate for 10 minutes.
Healers are now able to damage their party members with damage spells.
Dps players now required to pay for healer and tank repair bills upon exiting a mythic dungeon. Dps players will no longer be able to enter another mythic plus until repair debt is paid.
1 Like
No need to, the game is already a joke. 
P.S. I used to find the April Fools patch notes funny and actually looked forward to them each year but ever since Legion and particularly with SL and now TWW I have become increasingly disenchanted with the game and any joy I used to find in it has been sapped away.
âBrewmaster has been fixed.
Holy paladin has been fixed.â
with no further elaboration.
- Shadow Crash is now uncapped, no longer has a cooldown, and costs 10 insanity
We are bringing back burst of speed talent for rogues as well as giving them an exclusive âthe gingerbread manâ title.
Classic servers will be down all day Tuesday to give players the authentic Patch Day experience.
We will randomly disconnect Classic players from Instances, Raids, and PVP matches to replicate the internet stability from 20 years ago.
Worgen Running Wild ability will now have a glyph option to let Gnomes hitch a ride.
All male transmogs will now show 40% more skin.
Male characters will now have pierced nipple options.
Taking Selfies in a marketplace or inn now have a percent chance of being dazed by a vendor for your rude behavior.
All Goblins, Gnomes, Dwarves, and Vulpera will have a /kneecap and /shinkick emote and animation.
Horse mounts have a 30% chance to buck you off them.
Invincible will have multiverse variants and a bigger, scared version called Conquest.
Honor cannot be earned by characters named âZukoâ.
Alchemists can now res Hunters by fusing them with their pets with the âWe can play nowâ item.
Tank classes get their own customizable Tank mount.
Healers now get an Ambulance mount with room for a passenger.
DPS that die due to standing in fire have a chance to be rezzed as an Urn.
7 Likes
After a careful 12 year review and in celebration of Mists of Pandaria classic, weâve decided to implement a dedicated Monk class developer!
In addition to possibly making Monk class changes at a future date, this new class developer will make it a priority to be sure that none of the three specializations ever feel too engaging or over-preform in group content.
Patch 11.3.4.72.0000011
Game of Thrones comes to Azeroth
- World of Friendship craft: No fighting. Just give hugs for experience
- Suramar sinks into the ocean
- Everyone has GM powers for 10 minutes. How much trouble can you get into
- The Freezing Legion shows up with Saregras turning Azeroth into a ball of ice
- Dragonflying now comes as a full fledged Flight Simulator with a 500 page manual on flying, aerodynamics, lift, and proper landing procedures
4 Likes
These are great!
1 Like
A âLoot Ninjaâ button has now been added to the loot drop dialog, allowing Rogues to steal other peopleâs loot drops!
1 Like
Can we have taunton mounts?
4 Likes
Warriors:
Damage from all abilities have been increased by 100% (up from 5%)
New Ability: âThe path is availableâ - Create your path from up to 65 yards away, regardless of obstacles and line of sight.
New Ability: âThat is enough rageâ - At the cost of 1% health points per second, the warrior can maintain up to 15 rage at all times (doesnât cost health when enraged via talent, read below).
Monk: Brewmaster is now a viable spec, and damage/health have been adjusted accordingly and threat has been increased by 300%.
Everybody else: Damage has been decreased by 400% to make way for Warriors, the new Kings of Carnage
- Gallywixâs defeat cinematic now includes a comically loud squish sound.
2 Likes
Frost DK reworked
All one handed and two handed talents are now baseline.
Choose what weapon type you want in your vault.
April fools! Haha we deleted the spec from the game ggwp!
New gear slot: artifact slot.
Remember those artifact weapons everyone loved because you got everything in the tree which felt great? Put them in your artifact slot to get the abilities they granted and all stats. Missed Legion? Better start grinding that AP if you want to m+ and raid! (Brewmaster damage reduced by 80%)
Phoenix flames travel time increased to 10 seconds (increased to 20 if standing within 10 yards of target).
Fire blast removed. (All ability damage reduced by 5% for Brewmaster.)
Warbound xp buff uncapped and increased to 20% per capped character. Increased leveling speed by 800% in The war within content.
Sylvanas is BACK! As part of the community service hours she has to serve, you can see her rebuilding Darnassus and Teldrassil.
Shrine of Storms is now the only m+ dungeon.
The Eye has been reworked into raid+. Complete the raid in under 30 minutes with 10 people for (brewmaster damage reduced by 2%).
Garrisonâs now grow the current mining deposits and herbs so you donât have to search the new island for mats. Also increased legion and WoD gold rewards by 100000%. (Brewmaster deleted from the game.)
The Engineering Effort! Remember the war effort for AQ? Well we got a new effort coming that is all about engineering. Donate parts so that Gnomes (yes they exist) and Goblins can invent a device to turn someone as big as Sargeras to remove the Sword from Silithus. (Credits may roll if successful. Brewmaster is playable once again. +.00001% damage increase.)
Draneai are gone. They got in their spaceship and are saying goodbye to Azeroth.
Sylvanas is now done rebuilding Darnassus so tough luck if you missed her! But she used her OP and never explained power from Shadowlands to undo the Gilneas curse. (All worgen deleted from the game and turned into Humans.)
Alterac Mountains removed (no one went there anyway except for that dumb ogre quest.)
Onyxia 3.0! We remastered the fight once so we did it again! No dungeon journal! But good luck, we made her guards a death wall so youâll never be able to see the boss. Have fun!
(Brewmasterâs need to go to Stormstout Brewery regularly to restock their supplies. Weâre also making this the first spec hall where Brewmasters can work together to make better brews. Also the more smashed you are the more damage you do.)
Mathias Shaw now sounds 50% more AI.
Lost city of Tolâvir is now 400% more gator.
Flying allowed on Argus and in the Maw.
Anduin Heroic and Mythic nerfed. 20% less health on both difficulties.
(You have to be a monk to play Brewmaster.)
The thread ended here.
1 Like
Because its true.
1 Like
- All races now have a Diaper version of their race.
- Transmog now only randomly works two days out of every week.
- Enjoy a NEW raid based off Classic Raids! Called Onyxiaâs Brood and you have to run
around avoiding raid mechanics while babysitting Onxyiaâs offspring. - All classes will have their damage buffed by 5%
- All Classes except BM hunter, DH, DK and Warlock will have their damage
nerfed by 50% - A new mario mini game has been added for PvP players. This will be the new gear
progression system for PvP and you get one piece of gear for every 50 times you
complete the minigame. - Battle Pet collectors will see new battle pets added in that can only be earned in game.
New battle pets will include Star Craft themed battle pets and battle pets based off
Kaiju from the Monsterverse. - A new toy called Sylvanas Body Pillow has been added. When used Danuser appears
and hugs it while crying out for Sylvanas. - To show you we listen and care the costs of the trading post items will be reduced by
half for the next 3 months. On a side note we wonât be having anything posted on the
Trading post for the next 6 months. You will not earn Trading Post currency during
this time. - Due to people complaining that mobs can be one shot Mythic Gear has been removed
from the game. - Shamans will be getting Buffs that will make them useful once more in the game.
- A new Road Runner mount will be added to be earned in game. Itâs goâs BEEP! BEEP!
when it starts moving and moves at 1000% ground speed. - A new raid will be announced later that will have Wrathion as a Raid Boss.
- An ingame Diary has been added so you can write in it to vent about how you feel one or more other players wronged you in instanced content. You have a choice of voices to pick from that says âYou poor thingâ when your done writing in your Diary.
- Chili Fries have been added to food Vendors.
- Void Elves are now considered Null and Void.
- New Battleground called The Circus Tent! Flight is not allowed and slowfall is disabled.
You fight on tightropes with all your team members on top of each others shoulders.
Be careful not to fall. - In preparation for player housing Wall scrolls of various Alliance and Horde characters
are now available in the in game shop. Price varies depending on character. Wall
scrolls will not be usable until Housing is added into the game.
2 Likes
Monk Notes:
- Weâre happy with where Monk currently is across all specs. Unfortunately, Jerry the Gnome Monk was reported as having fun as his class. We at Blizzard understand how jarring it is for everyone when a monk main has fun playing the game, therefore, we have nerfed all direct damage dealing abilities by 50% across all specs. Additionally, we are reducing the available talents for monk by 10. Maybe next time you monk players will show a little respect before admitting to having fun. Gross.
Rogue Notes:
- Adjusted talent tress so key utility abilities require the worst DPS abilities the class has ever seen. Weâre pretty sure we accidentally added an ability or two that hasnât existed since alpha.
- Restricted available races to night elf and blood elf.
- Added additional character creation options to add blindfolds and horns at the barber shop.
- PERSONALLY removed each rogueâs eyes (and if youâre not quiet their playersâ eyes tooâŚ)
- Removed daggers as class weapon.
- Added warglaives as class weapon.
Demon Hunter Class Notes:
- Added third class specialization: ROGUE! A stealth-based assassin that uses combo points to deal wicked damage, requiring excellent execution of abilities and resource management.