Why do some abuse victims/survivors identify with Sylvanas?

Because the early Sylv story was about how Arthas killed and controlled her, which fits in with the same type of trauma that those things can leave on a person. I think a lot of people were reading her story for a while as a survivor coming to grips with what happened to her, and then that story was thrown away to just have made her a over the top evil doer.

I’d also note I think many times when this comes up it can be in response to people suggesting a redemption arc for Arthas, especially one where he steps back into that role with her, and that would be a really horrid turn in the story.

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