There is some nuance to this topic. Yes, it can be annoying if DPS who don’t know what they’re doing pull the wrong mobs. Sometimes a tank doesn’t want to pull a specific group because they’re annoying to stack with other mobs for some reason or aren’t required or for some other reason.
On the other hand, sometimes DPS who know what they are doing can really help the tank by grabbing a timely patrol or that pack that is just out of range of another pack.
So basically, this comes down to how well people work together and understand the game as a whole.
In the OP case i disagree.
Good groups are adaptive.
not the “I do what I want and you follow me” mindset.
We only know the one side of the story.
Perhaps the DPS were overly rude to a polite suggestion like the OP claims
or
the OP was rude calling them out for pulling and being very diva-toxic and when they got the same attitude back, they were all: “Oh no, you didnʻ !” and came here to vent.
we donʻt really know.
I feel if groups are more communicative and tried to work with each other, perhaps it will go a bit smoother.
But yeah, thereʻs always gonna be the players who will claim:
“Oh no! No-ones got time for that nonsense, just follow.”
The problem with being a tank is that you are the default group lead, you have to lead 4 randos and will see all of what I described. Whereas a DPS will only ever see it from their point of view and for some DPS if the tank is not doing what they want they will complain, some of them don’t quite understand what it’s like to get randos who want something different to the last group.
It’s a bigger problem when overgeared tanks/healers play dps spec to rush through the dungeon faster (overgeared dps is a problem too). As someone who’s there to have fun (not get gear), my time has been wasted.
Solution: cap ilvl in LFG (like timewalking but tune it properly)
Whenever I pull as DPS it’s with the expectation that I can handle it on my own. If others jump in that’s on them, if I die that’s on me, if it’s too hairy then I just invis and let them reset
The reason I will tend to rush through an instance is just for Leatherworking. Blizzard in their infinite wisdom decided to put the Altar of Decay, required for certain popular leatherworking patterns, inside the Brackenhide Hollow instance. Every other crafting profession got their special places put in the open world. It would have been real easy to put the Altar of Decay in the Brackenhide Hollow open world portion of Azure Span, but no, they put it in the instance…
If you’re noticing it more often than before, then you’re the bottleneck and it isn’t getting better. Pull faster, use your CDs. We all have limited time to play, every time I spend an extra 10 minutes in a dungeon that’s half a quick dungeon I just lost in my allotted play time. I’m logging on to get crap down and do content, not pull 1-2 mobs at a time and waste my DPS cds on 2-3 mobs.
Don’t play tank if you cant’ handle community expectations.
Don’t cook burgers if you don’t know how to grill.
There is no rule stating that the tank should do the pulling but this is typically the most practical solution. Unless the group have agreed to do otherwise, the tank should be assumed to be the puller.
and at the opposite end of the spectrum we have tanks chain pulling without stopping and leaving a chain of adds in their wake with a string of dps hitting them in multiple small grps along it.
i’ll also add that when im tanking i run a you pull it you own policy and run at my own pace, if they dont learn after a few pulls i’ll do exactly what the op did and pull as much as i can and leave.
As a ‘hard core casual’ who enjoys random bgs and LFR - I usually place the dps on ‘block/ignore’ on my UI and only have my fellow healers and tanks showing - so I only focus my heals on them.
If a dps happens to get an AoE heal (for example Circle of Healing cast on a tank) then goody for them.
Or steamrolling tanks who do not wait for healers mana, my husband was a healer for years but now he is dps cause of the shift, ect, all of this has been happening for years and no one is doing anything about it. Reason I now do the follower or solo stuff. Group stuff is a chaotic mess when people do not work together. Do your roles and things will be fine, its not hard to be nice