Sadly for you, I’m an engineer, and I replaced my soul with coffee long, long ago. (Or maybe that’s a good thing. Especially if you like light roast.)
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“She doesn’t want to drink it, she wants to own it. She will, most likely, just fill a snow globe with it, and play with it when she is bored.”
/wicked giggle
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I do, but they never do apparently.
Something about fatigue.
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gus has escaped.
/pushes big red button and alarms go off.
Oh shoot… Accidentally pushed the wrong one…
Alarm: SCP CONTAINMENT BREACH DETECTED!
Who installed this?! … Oh right I did…
an army of cloned guses rushes towards you.
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I JUST went out to get lunch OKAY?!? Here’s your pineapple on pizza.
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Sorry I pushed the wrong button…
/panics as he tosses pocket bacon randomly
Pineapple on pizza is always acceptable.
Today is Weds, on Weds we discover where else pineapple is acceptable UwU…
i cried laughing at this and since im at work im scared ppl will ask me why im laughing and am embarrassed to say wow forums
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/throws pineapple pizza outside
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the guses continue their advance.
/climbs a tree while throwing hernes lunch at em
Slams the SCP containment breach button over and over again
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That is better then the last place you had a big red button " SELF DESTRUCT " . 
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OI MON, that’s cruelty to living things man…
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the guses rush towards spacefloozy.
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i suspect some here are scps