WAKE UP, AZATHO… I mean, err… AZEROTH. I COME BEARING SECRETS.
But first, a quick message from one of our $ponsors:
Do you love playing World of Warcraft? Try World of Lovecraft instead. It’s this magical, happy place where there isn’t any toxicity, nor is there any strife or chaos. (There’s not much to do lol) It’s a loving place, child. Come and embrace it. Just embrace it, child. It won’t hurt. Embrace it. EMBR—
And now, back to the show:
I believe first, we should talk about my credentials: I am a level 36 Shadow Priest, who dreams of one day becoming a Voidweaver. I’ve been to the Maw and back and have Xal’atath contained within a dagger. She’s no longer an issue. You’re welcome. In addition to that, I am literally dealing with Insanity IRL, in factuality. I have gazed into the Abyss for so long that I am well past the point where It gazes back and We’ve developed a very rudimentary code through blinking Our eyes at one Another.
I wanted to let you know that the void is coming, and that’s okay. I wanted to let you know that things are about to change for you, and that’s okay, too. This is going to be a new experience for you. All you got to do is let it in and it will be fine. Gaslighting you? No, not at all! I’m just telling you the way it’s going to be… I’m telling you that it’s going to happen. It’s going to happen. Just lie back and enjoy it. That’s really the best option you have on the table at this point.
But I want to help you prepare for the big V-day. You should always have protection, which is why it’s imperative that you find your local priest and have them cast a protection spell on you. Any priest will do, not just Shadow Priests, not just Voidweavers. (I’m Shadow but I’m kind of fond of Discipline, too, if you know what I mean (meowch!)).
So, yes, find a priest and get your protection on. Because, again, it IS. GOING. TO. HAPPEN. But it’s also going to be alright. And no, I’m not trying to gaslight you. I swear to God (God is Dead, btw).
To be continued…