Please forgive some visual continuity issues. AI has limits, and I’m too lazy to do the sketches!
The Vault
It was a typical dull day in Valdrakken. For years the Kirin Tor had sent me to the far corners of the universe, and even the afterlife on exciting assignments. I mean, I’d just won a war in freaking Heaven! How cool is that? So I wasn’t exactly overwhelmed when Khadgar sent me to these islands to work out standard protocols for documentation of magical powers, and spell dynamics between Valdrakken’s administrators, and our own back in Dalaran. It was as tedious as it sounds.
So the arrival of the letter that morning was a brief break from the drudgery. Something from back home to distract me from my boredom. Nope. No such luck. It looked like a bank statement, but those usually go to my house, and he deals with it. This was odd.
PERSONAL AND CONFIDENTIAL
Thunder Bluff Savings & Trust Co. - Dalaran Branch
Dear Ms Red,
I hope this letter finds you well. It is imperative that we meet as soon as possible regarding the state of your vault. It is beginning to cause some consternation among those entrusted with it’s care. I’ve set aside the morning of next Tuesday when the bank is normally closed for maintenance in order that we can meet without interruptions. I do hope you can make it.
Sincerely,
Alvin L. Tanukka
Banker
Not the excitement I craved, but a chance to take a personal day and visit my favourite banker was better than nothing. I could port myself to Dalaran and be back before anyone noticed I was gone.
Alvin was a quiet, gentle Tauren who never showed a lot of emotion. He always had an air about him of someone who had just woken up. It kind of made us polar opposites. Still, I was always glad to see him.
“Al!” I exclaimed giving him a big kiss on his furry cheek, “How have you been?”
“Quite well, thank you. How are things in the Dragon Isles?”
I sighed. “Boring. Beautiful, but boring.”
“Yes, well I won’t keep you too long, but I needed to get across to you just how dire the state of your vault has become. It was manageable for many years, but lately it has gotten to the point where it’s bursting and starting to spread beyond its normal boundaries, and into the rest of the bank. I understand that your abilities to deposit by magic might mean you don’t get exactly how out of control things have gotten. That’s why I asked you to meet me in person.”
“No problem,” I said, “I’ll just move stuff over to that void thingy in…”
“Full.” Alving grunted.
“Ok, I’ll just hang bigger bags on the walls.”
“No more room Ms Red. The vault is beyond full.”
“What about the little helper I sent you?” I asked. “I was sure he’d have things all tidy and organised by now.”
“Yes,” Alvin replied. “The little owl thing. Diligent little fellow. Frightened easily, and smelled like a hen house, but wasn’t afraid of working hard. He was working methodically through the bank, and was a few days away from getting to your vault when a large blue woman with wings showed up muttering angrily about ‘unauthorised removal’ and took him away.”
“Pfft! And after all I did for them.” I grumbled.
“As you can see,” he motioned toward the open vault door, “things have gotten quite out of control with all the weapons, armour, scrolls, crafting materials, nick nacks, jewels, letters, books, small and not so small creatures, and so on and so on…”
“I see. Looks like I just need to get a bigger vault.” I wasn’t afraid to invest a little gold to store all these priceless memories.
My friend was quick to dash that dream. “Not possible I’m afraid. The council of magic puts hard restrictions on the amount of vault space individuals can own. You’re just going to have to get rid of some things.” He reached into a drawer and pulled out some dusty dried flowers. “What does a Mage of your calibre need with Peacebloom? You don’t even know what to do with it!”
“it’s…pretty?” I said uneasily.
“Three flowers in a drawer that you could use to put actual useful things in. There’s many drawers like that.”
“So,” I replied “put the flowers in there and put useful things in that extra space. Easy peasy!”
“Not allowed.” He said. “The risks of putting two different items in the same drawer are too high, so the Magic Council doesn’t allow it. There was this one time that a person stuffed thorium ore and earthroot into the same drawer and…”
“Yes, yes… we all know the story of the sundering.” I interrupted. “But you have to understand that I have so many precious memories in this vault. I can’t just throw them out!”
“Like these 426 void crystals?” he asked.
“Yes!” I replied. “Each one is a memory of a fantastic item I won, or created. Then disenchanted.”
“They’re useless! The Magic Council has deemed them so, and that was many years ago. You can’t even sell these.”
“Yes, but if they ever change their minds I’ll be wealthy beyond my dreams!” I said.
“Have they ever once done that?” he asked. “Besides, you never have given the impression of one who was after riches. Otherwise you would have sold that thing long ago, when you could have lived for years off the proceeds.”
“I’m going to fix that battered hilt up one day,” I replied, “I just haven’t had the time, what with Deathwing, Garrosh, Guldan, starting a family, the Burning Legion, and all that.” As I talked several animals rubbed up against Alvin’s leg. He bristled noticeably.
“This thing has been living in the vault for years.” he said, pointing at the guardian cub, “Don’t you find that cruel?”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“Cruel? This vault is his home! He’s happy here. He looks forward to you feeding him every day. Cruel would be taking him from this happy home and selling him to a stranger!”
Alvin sighed, picking up some red tinted sunglasses.
“These also could have brought you a fortune. Yet you never even wear them.”
“Yet…” I replied.
“Well, I don’t see a solution Ms Red. You keep being sent off on all these wild adventures and you inevitably amass all these new possessions but there’s no new place to put them. You’re half my age and use four times the vault space I do!”
Ooooh! I was intrigued.
“So Alvin… you have a lot of free vault space you say?”
“Of course. I manage my space very carefully and… why do you ask?” He seemed suspicious.
“Alvin, my friend, how would you like to do some business together?”
“No! No no no no!” he shook his head, “I like you Ms Red, but please don’t draw me into your vortex of hoarding!”
“Al, think of this as an opportunity!”
“Opportunity for what?” He was unusually animated. “To get buried under your deluge of random collections? What kind of opportunity is that?”
He continued,
“What about that partner of yours? He’s a simple professor. I’m sure his vault has plenty of room.”
“That won’t do.” I replied. “His is all full of plants. It’s his thing. Besides, our relationship is based on a solid foundation of not asking a lot of questions, and believe me, if he looked in my vault, there would be questions!”
“Yes, I agree.” he replied. “Some of those creatures don’t exist in this world.”
“Don’t you want to get rich Alvin?” I said. “Aren’t you tired of managing everyone else’s fortunes? I’m sure Mrs Tanukka would be so happy to see you bring home a lot of extra gold.”
“How much extra gold?” he asked, “And would it get me in trouble?”
“All you’d need to do is store some of these mostly legal items for me, and once in a while wander down to the auction house and place them up for sale.” I explained, “When they sell you take a cut. Mrs Tanukka gets a new leather coat…”
He closed his eyes and shook his head.
“Sorry, silk jacket.” I blushed. “You know, every time one of these new events crop up, a lot of new adventurers come out of the woodwork, and I make millions of gold selling them bags and cloaks, but it’s such a hassle for me to handle the buying and selling when I’m away. If I could just mail them to you?”
“And the cost of expanding my vault to hold this influx of goods? I’ll have to set up a new company, and get others to sign the documents attesting to my worthiness. That won’t come cheap.” he warned.
“No worries,” I said, “I’ll transfer fifty thousand gold to you before I leave!”
“Well, I guess I’d be foolish to turn down such an opportunity.”
“You’ll not regret I promise!” I said, extending my hand, which he accepted. Together we were going to make a great team.
Alvin didn’t expect that I’d fill his vault up so quickly, or wind up using his void vault too, but Mrs Tanukka is loving her shopping trips to Pandaria. I hear the Magic Council might be allowing shared family vaults soon. I can’t wait to see how that works out.
Well, back to categorizing polymorph spells. yawn