Meow-meow! Sorry to hear that. Hopefully things will get better for you in the future.
I join groups, I donât start them lol
Iâm able to afford therapy thanks to Medicaid and Medicare. Iâll try to expose myself, but it would be nice to have a partner in a group with me.
I guess exposure to stuff. Also helps that Iâve been playing for almost 20 years
Things seem to get better once you leave your 20s too but I donât know how relatable that is.
Idk, Iâve never really struggled in games but if I have to make a phone call or get services irl I need a dialogue script to follow and if you throw me for a loop Iâm gonna stare through you until I reboot.
Ditto. I love helping people out.
The eternal loop of friendly people offering to help anxious people, the anxious people saying yes and then shutting down and going unresponsive due to anxiety
kicking happens, all it takes is one person and everyone else often just reflexively hits âyesâ without thinking just to make the window go away. One thing you might try, if you just want to be in a group, would be transmog runs in old raids.
Theyâre usually really chill because people outlevel the content. And because everyone involved is there looking for dress-up options, theyâre rarely concerned with making sure youâre âdoing rotations rightâ or whatever.
Exposure therapy. Thats what i did
Yeah, I am trying to break out of my shell in these forums. Kinda hard, but trying my best.
I totally get where youâre coming from, however, in my experience, guilds are far more willing to help their members than randos in the group finder. I realize there are definitely bad guilds out there, but youâll be invited more, learn more, progress further, and experience far less toxicity overall when playing with guildiesâŚat least if every guild Iâve ever been in is anything to go by. Most guild want to help their new recruitsâŚespecially this late in the season when 10.2 is right around the corner
Going out is no big deal, then again I do suffer from agoraphobia too. You see, Iâve always had people come with me to go out to places the past two decades. Before that I was fine. I guess having my boyfriend of 20 years to go places made me develop it, unfortunately.
Iâm fortunate enough that my anxiety isnât tied to social situations and is instead just general neurosis as well as health anxiety. So Iâm not particularly bothered by going into a dungeon.
Really, the only way to get rid of social anxiety is going to be exposure therapy. If you want to do group content, youâre going to have to dip your toes into it at some point. You donât have to talk to anyone, you donât have to interact. Eventually you can get used to it after doing it for a while.
I had some anxiety about tanking M+ groups until I tried it, realized it wasnât as bad as I thought it to be.
I am loathe to quote Seneca because stoicism is cringe but a quote is relevant here, paraphrasing: âWe suffer more in our imagination than we do in reality.â
While the above quote isnât exactly true, itâs important to be mindful of when your anxiety is catastrophizing over nothing.
I know, right? I might have to up my meds to help me, though.
Eh if so it happens and nothing to be ashamed of!
Also, pugging is just the worst. Iâd suggest avoiding it and finding a friendly guild.
In a pug, if things go south people get judgey.
In a fun guild, when things go south you try again. So many guilds I was in where there were people doing low dps and dying early but we didnât care because we liked hanging with them.
When you know what to expect from players thereâs less to get upset about. In pugs thereâs more expectations for everyone to be equally skilled so when people arenât tempers flare
No isolated upbringing, but Iâve been isolated for years. The only people I know is my BF of 20 years and my roommate online and offline.
Thank you for sharing. That must be challenging, and I imagine it might feel like the social anxiety is getting worse the longer you are isolated because of the thought patterns that feed on isolation. Primarily, when you are alone and not talking to others, you might wonder how they perceive you, and catastrophize (think the worst), but thereâs no way to confront these thoughts because not socializing with them doesnât help you find out the truth (which is generally that people like or feel nothing about everyone who doesnât actively try to ruin their life). You might also over-analyze past interactions where you were hurt or you hurt others. The mind tends to fill in the gaps with negative assumptions and worst-case scenarios when thereâs a lack of real-world feedback from social interactions. These thoughts can create a vicious cycle, where the more you isolate, the more anxious and self-conscious you become, making it even harder to break free from social anxiety.
So what can you do about it? The good news is that your anxiety can be overcome. You have a version which is extremely common since COVID, Iâm not saying itâs a result of COVID (but that probably didnât help). Youâre not alone and it can be fixed. Reflect on this: these thought patterns are not a reflection of reality but a (super normal) result of anxiety. Rebuilding your social confidence seems a lot harder than it is and you just have to gradually reintegrate into social situations. This forum is a great start (and a family-friendly in-game guild would probably be the best case because this forum can get rowdy sometimes) and there are also no-commitment volunteering activities you can do (you can go with your BF if he wants, too). Volunteering is working for free so the expectations are extremely low and theyâll just appreciate whatever help you can get, youâll probably make friends who are good people as well.
If you can help someone, make friends, improve your self-esteem, and confront your anxiety all at once, this is a win-win-win-win! Volunteering checks all these boxes but I know someone who came up with another creative solution of hosting foreign exchange students. There are probably more solutions as well.
It varies by mood, for me. Sometimes I canât stand to group, other times itâs more tolerable. Itâs easier to get lost in LFR than a dungeon, just because itâs more people. The ignore list is your friend, if someone is being a jerk.
Find yourself a good guild with some understanding people. It can make a world of difference. And just do your best.
try hard to get over it for me. i actually might 100% remove chat when rdf comes for wrath. i already removed chat from retail lol. i have to pretend people are npcs or something to get through i guess and hope they dotn berate me lol.
First, allow yourself to freak out internally.
Then, when youâre done with that, go look at the rewards again.
Remind yourself no one can see you, they donât know you either.
Then go in and do your best.
Thatâs all anyone can do. Their best. Give it a shot.