Social Anxiety here

Meow-meow! Sorry to hear that. Hopefully things will get better for you in the future.

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I join groups, I don’t start them lol

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I’m able to afford therapy thanks to Medicaid and Medicare. I’ll try to expose myself, but it would be nice to have a partner in a group with me.

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I guess exposure to stuff. Also helps that I’ve been playing for almost 20 years

Things seem to get better once you leave your 20s too but I don’t know how relatable that is.

Idk, I’ve never really struggled in games but if I have to make a phone call or get services irl I need a dialogue script to follow and if you throw me for a loop I’m gonna stare through you until I reboot.

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Ditto. I love helping people out.

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The eternal loop of friendly people offering to help anxious people, the anxious people saying yes and then shutting down and going unresponsive due to anxiety :melting_face:

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kicking happens, all it takes is one person and everyone else often just reflexively hits “yes” without thinking just to make the window go away. One thing you might try, if you just want to be in a group, would be transmog runs in old raids.

They’re usually really chill because people outlevel the content. And because everyone involved is there looking for dress-up options, they’re rarely concerned with making sure you’re “doing rotations right” or whatever.

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Exposure therapy. Thats what i did

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Yeah, I am trying to break out of my shell in these forums. Kinda hard, but trying my best.

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I totally get where you’re coming from, however, in my experience, guilds are far more willing to help their members than randos in the group finder. I realize there are definitely bad guilds out there, but you’ll be invited more, learn more, progress further, and experience far less toxicity overall when playing with guildies…at least if every guild I’ve ever been in is anything to go by. Most guild want to help their new recruits…especially this late in the season when 10.2 is right around the corner

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Going out is no big deal, then again I do suffer from agoraphobia too. You see, I’ve always had people come with me to go out to places the past two decades. Before that I was fine. I guess having my boyfriend of 20 years to go places made me develop it, unfortunately.

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I’m fortunate enough that my anxiety isn’t tied to social situations and is instead just general neurosis as well as health anxiety. So I’m not particularly bothered by going into a dungeon.

Really, the only way to get rid of social anxiety is going to be exposure therapy. If you want to do group content, you’re going to have to dip your toes into it at some point. You don’t have to talk to anyone, you don’t have to interact. Eventually you can get used to it after doing it for a while.

I had some anxiety about tanking M+ groups until I tried it, realized it wasn’t as bad as I thought it to be.

I am loathe to quote Seneca because stoicism is cringe but a quote is relevant here, paraphrasing: “We suffer more in our imagination than we do in reality.”

While the above quote isn’t exactly true, it’s important to be mindful of when your anxiety is catastrophizing over nothing.

I know, right? I might have to up my meds to help me, though.

Eh if so it happens and nothing to be ashamed of! :slight_smile:

Also, pugging is just the worst. I’d suggest avoiding it and finding a friendly guild.

In a pug, if things go south people get judgey.

In a fun guild, when things go south you try again. So many guilds I was in where there were people doing low dps and dying early but we didn’t care because we liked hanging with them.

When you know what to expect from players there’s less to get upset about. In pugs there’s more expectations for everyone to be equally skilled so when people aren’t tempers flare

No isolated upbringing, but I’ve been isolated for years. The only people I know is my BF of 20 years and my roommate online and offline.

Thank you for sharing. That must be challenging, and I imagine it might feel like the social anxiety is getting worse the longer you are isolated because of the thought patterns that feed on isolation. Primarily, when you are alone and not talking to others, you might wonder how they perceive you, and catastrophize (think the worst), but there’s no way to confront these thoughts because not socializing with them doesn’t help you find out the truth (which is generally that people like or feel nothing about everyone who doesn’t actively try to ruin their life). You might also over-analyze past interactions where you were hurt or you hurt others. The mind tends to fill in the gaps with negative assumptions and worst-case scenarios when there’s a lack of real-world feedback from social interactions. These thoughts can create a vicious cycle, where the more you isolate, the more anxious and self-conscious you become, making it even harder to break free from social anxiety.

So what can you do about it? The good news is that your anxiety can be overcome. You have a version which is extremely common since COVID, I’m not saying it’s a result of COVID (but that probably didn’t help). You’re not alone and it can be fixed. Reflect on this: these thought patterns are not a reflection of reality but a (super normal) result of anxiety. Rebuilding your social confidence seems a lot harder than it is and you just have to gradually reintegrate into social situations. This forum is a great start (and a family-friendly in-game guild would probably be the best case because this forum can get rowdy sometimes) and there are also no-commitment volunteering activities you can do (you can go with your BF if he wants, too). Volunteering is working for free so the expectations are extremely low and they’ll just appreciate whatever help you can get, you’ll probably make friends who are good people as well.

If you can help someone, make friends, improve your self-esteem, and confront your anxiety all at once, this is a win-win-win-win! Volunteering checks all these boxes but I know someone who came up with another creative solution of hosting foreign exchange students. There are probably more solutions as well.

It varies by mood, for me. Sometimes I can’t stand to group, other times it’s more tolerable. It’s easier to get lost in LFR than a dungeon, just because it’s more people. The ignore list is your friend, if someone is being a jerk.

Find yourself a good guild with some understanding people. It can make a world of difference. And just do your best.

try hard to get over it for me. i actually might 100% remove chat when rdf comes for wrath. i already removed chat from retail lol. i have to pretend people are npcs or something to get through i guess and hope they dotn berate me lol.

First, allow yourself to freak out internally.

Then, when you’re done with that, go look at the rewards again.

Remind yourself no one can see you, they don’t know you either.

Then go in and do your best.

That’s all anyone can do. Their best. Give it a shot.

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