How do you rank the pet dungeons, from worst to best? Here’s my ranking:
- Stratholme:
Ah, Stratholme. How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways.
To start with, the pets you sell are all unique, meaning only one each, and they are untradable. So, once you’ve acquired the pets, there is literally no reason whatsoever to go back. You could, I suppose, keep buying the Supply Crates for some goodies. But it’s too much work, for too little reward. I could get a comparable number of pet charms and other assorted goodies with three or four pet battles in the wild.
And the ironic part of this is that this is the only dungeon that has a chance of spawning bonus fights for an additional piece of currency (Cleansed Remains). So, while Stratholme has the potential for the greatest currency reward, it carries the fewest number of things to spend it on!
In most pet dungeons there is always a vehicle or some kind of toon interaction that has nothing to do with pet battling. In this case, you jump into an abomination vehicle and start whacking away at undead crazies, like Unholy Skeletons (as opposed to Holy Skeletons, which are reanimated bones doubtless raised for some high and lofty purpose). The AoE that this Abomination uses doesn’t always seem to hit, even on mobs that are directly in front of me. It’s annoying and frustrating. Your best bet is to use the grappling hook, even on mobs right in front of you, as it does the most damage.
The final boss seems rather weird. A undead horse? And the two pets just prior to the boss seem kind of pointless, as they aren’t challenges and can be easily soloed with the right pet.
- Wailing Critters
The worst aspect of this is the reward. Instead of collecting currency and buying pets, any pets you got was entirely based on the luck of the draw. Some of those who were fortunate enough to win a pet on the first week of this dungeon were boasting about getting six figures for selling it in the Auction House. That’s hardly fair to those of us who weren’t so lucky to actually get a pet.
And none of those reward pets are worth six figures.
Also, there is little variety in this dungeon. Your first three fights are a combination of a Zandalari-looking pet, a Venomfang-looking pet, and a Chompy-looking pet.
Then you battle the Son of Skum. Then you battle four consecutive Naga-looking pets (with the aforementioned generic pets as backups). Then you battle two Ectoplasmic blobs. Then, finally, you battle the Everliving Spore, the boss pet.
The best thing I can say about this dungeon is that it’s straightforward, with linear progression, and it’s without the vehicle/toon aspect, except for the running you have to do from the last serpent to the Ectoplasmic Blobs. They are AoEs that can speed up your running, but actually do significant damage to your toon, so don’t die.
Finally, the reward bag includes Shiny Pet Charms rather than Polished. Bleah.
- Gnomeregan
There is greater variety than Wailing Critters. And unlike Stratholme, the pets are tradeable and you can own three of each. And unlike Deadmines and Wailing Critters, they reward in Polished Pet Charms rather than Shiny. It is, in fact, the first pet dungeon to do so. So, there’s that.
Two things keep this dungeon from being ranked higher.
First, the vehicle aspect is silly. It’s frustrating, but not nearly as frustrating as the Abomination thing in Stratholme.
Then, there’s the door just before reaching the final boss. You spend so much time there, that it just doesn’t feel like progress. There are two bosses at the door. Defeat them, but the door will not open just yet. Some Bloated Leper Rat comes charging up and you have to defeat him, too.
Then the door finally opens. Oh, but wait, there’s three more pets waiting on the other side who need to get the butts kicked, too.
Then, like in all dungeons, there is a Shadowy Figure. While this Shadowy Figure does a passable imitation of Therin in Blackrock Caverns, it is, in fact, not Therin.
It seems the Shadowy Figure’s imitation of Therin fails in one aspect: Therin, as revealed in Blackrock Caverns, cannot correctly pronounce the word “plebian.” The Shadowy Figure in Gnomeregan can.
- Deadmines
Despite being the second (technically third) pet dungeon, this one is surprisingly good. Linear progression, variety of pets to fight, and the toon-interactive element is actually fun. You have to avoid the cannon fire, otherwise, you get knocked into the water and have to swim back to the beginning and try again.
The pets are tradeable, purchased with currency rather than RNG, and you can own more than one.
The only downside really is that Supply Crate gives Shiny Pet Charms rather than Polished. Bleah.
- Blackrock Caverns
This is where the Shadowy Figures finally reveal themselves and it’s an entertaining cast, to be sure. (Plus Zuna, who was not seen in any pet dungeon prior to this.)
It is interesting to see how the characters interact. Inexplicably, Zuna, a female Orc, seems to be infatuated with Horu, who is at least cordial to her, but does not seem to reciprocate her feelings.
Despite Horu being the weakest of your opponents, he is also the most gracious loser of all of them. He compliments your victory and even wishes to learn from you.
It is also interesting to see how Pixy and Therin interact (both professed geniuses who decidedly overestimate themselves). Pixy is impatient with Alran and his relentless complaining, but seems to have an antipathy for Therin. Therin seems awfully smug and contemptuous for a Night Elf.
The pets are tradable, you can have up to three, and the reward crate gives Polished Pet Charms, not Shiny.
- Celestial Tournament.
Some might argue this is not truly a dungeon, but I would disagree. It’s a solo instance, like all dungeons. It gives pet rewards and, like most dungeons (except Wailing Critters) it has its own currency with which you can purchase pets. (And these pets are actually quite good.)
The best argument you can make for it not being a dungeon is that Manapoof won’t send you there.
The reward feature is done right. The pets are purchased with three Celestial Coins. But rather than making you go back three times before you can even get one pet, you get two more Celestial Coins for your first victory, so you can buy your first pet right away. It’s the other pets that will take weeks to buy.
The worst thing I can say about this are the purchases. Seriously, three Celestial Coins for one blue stone?
I could get a blue stone from a daily. Or I can get enough Pet Charms from a daily to buy one. For 3 Celestial Coins, I should be able to get a stack of ten blue stones. Or a purple stone. That might make it worth returning for.
So, I can win seven fights for one Coin, collect three over three weeks for a total of 21 fights, for one lousy blue stone. Or I can just do one pet battle for a blue stone or enough coins to buy one.
Also, it should have a reward crate, purchasable with one Coin, which gives Polished Pet Charms, not Shiny.
My long-winded ranking for the Pet Dungeons.
TL;DR:
D+ Stratholme
C Wailing Critters
C+ Gnomeregan
B Deadmines
B+ Blackrock Caverns
A- Celestial Tournament.
So, how do you rank the pet dungeons?