Category: Google Listings
Ninja - 431,000,000 results
Pirate - 239,000,000 results
This is likely the result of censoring pirated content. Who the hell would visit a site about ninjas? Can you imagine going to Ninja Bay?
Score: Pirates 10, Ninjas 10
Category: Hygiene
Ninjas are similar to cats that try to avoid water and rarely bathe. Unlike real cats, ninjas do not engage in regular self-grooming. Pirates are more like dogs thinking it's fun to skinny dip in even a salty sea and unintentionally bathe themselves to improve hygiene.
Category: Pirates 11, Ninjas 10
Ninjas are similar to cats that try to avoid water and rarely bathe. Unlike real cats, ninjas do not engage in regular self-grooming. Pirates are more like dogs thinking it's fun to skinny dip in even a salty sea and unintentionally bathe themselves to improve hygiene.
Category: Pirates 11, Ninjas 10
Category: Anime Arena
This comes down to a battle pitting the strongest Pirate, Monkey D. Luffy, against the strongest Ninja, Naruto Uzumaki: "Naruto can disintegrate Luffy down to the molecular level and Naruto’s speed greatly outclasses luffy even in gear 4 and gear 2 since Naruto has kept up with Sasuke’s teleportation. Luffy’s speed, strength, and durability is inferior to Naruto in his sage of the six paths chakra mode. Imagine Naruto as the 7th Hokage up against the current Luffy, it would be overkill. Luffy may need like a Gear 50 and a monkey god form to keep up with Naruto right now."
Score: Pirates 11, Ninjas 11
This comes down to a battle pitting the strongest Pirate, Monkey D. Luffy, against the strongest Ninja, Naruto Uzumaki: "Naruto can disintegrate Luffy down to the molecular level and Naruto’s speed greatly outclasses luffy even in gear 4 and gear 2 since Naruto has kept up with Sasuke’s teleportation. Luffy’s speed, strength, and durability is inferior to Naruto in his sage of the six paths chakra mode. Imagine Naruto as the 7th Hokage up against the current Luffy, it would be overkill. Luffy may need like a Gear 50 and a monkey god form to keep up with Naruto right now."
Score: Pirates 11, Ninjas 11
Category: Gender Diversity
Historically, both ninjas and pirates failed terribly at diversity. Ninjas traditionally hailed from a patriarchal society while pirates prohibited female crew members. However, modern pirates adopted progressive policies to allow female members before they were even allowed in the military. Modern pirates will gladly fight to the death trying to defend a pirate queen.
Score: Pirates 12, Ninjas 11
Historically, both ninjas and pirates failed terribly at diversity. Ninjas traditionally hailed from a patriarchal society while pirates prohibited female crew members. However, modern pirates adopted progressive policies to allow female members before they were even allowed in the military. Modern pirates will gladly fight to the death trying to defend a pirate queen.
Score: Pirates 12, Ninjas 11
Category: Bounties
Unfortunately for the pirates, higher bounties makes them the losers of this category. Pirates have such large bounties that they attract opportunists ranging from skilled bounty hunters to navy captains. Pirates need to choose their friends carefully because fat booty is the ultimate cause of betrayal.
Category: Pirates 12, Ninjas 12
Unfortunately for the pirates, higher bounties makes them the losers of this category. Pirates have such large bounties that they attract opportunists ranging from skilled bounty hunters to navy captains. Pirates need to choose their friends carefully because fat booty is the ultimate cause of betrayal.
Category: Pirates 12, Ninjas 12
Category: Failure
Ninjas commit seppuku for failure while pirates drink it off and forget the bad memory. Pirates learn from or forget their mistakes with the help of a potent medicine known as rum.
Score: Pirates 13, Ninjas 12
Ninjas commit seppuku for failure while pirates drink it off and forget the bad memory. Pirates learn from or forget their mistakes with the help of a potent medicine known as rum.
Score: Pirates 13, Ninjas 12
Category: Best for Society
"Ninjas generally don’t attack regular, everyday people unless provoked, although there was quite a scare during the late 80s and early 90s in and around Manhattan as one Oroku Saki, also known as “Shredder,” led an army of ill-behaved ninjas known as the “Foot Clan” in a series of thefts, vandalism, and physical attacks against innocent New Yorkers. Thanks to policies later enacted by former New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, ninja activity, along with adult entertainment, has been scarce in Manhattan.
Despite the aforementioned New York Ninja Scare, attacks against innocent people by ninjas don’t hold a candle to pirate activity – most of which includes direct attacks on innocent civilians, merchants, and, occasionally, other pirates."
Score: Pirates 13, Ninjas 13
"Ninjas generally don’t attack regular, everyday people unless provoked, although there was quite a scare during the late 80s and early 90s in and around Manhattan as one Oroku Saki, also known as “Shredder,” led an army of ill-behaved ninjas known as the “Foot Clan” in a series of thefts, vandalism, and physical attacks against innocent New Yorkers. Thanks to policies later enacted by former New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, ninja activity, along with adult entertainment, has been scarce in Manhattan.
Despite the aforementioned New York Ninja Scare, attacks against innocent people by ninjas don’t hold a candle to pirate activity – most of which includes direct attacks on innocent civilians, merchants, and, occasionally, other pirates."
Score: Pirates 13, Ninjas 13
Category: Global Warming
Pirates ain't no landlubbers concerned about global warming. They look forward to even bigger seas to sail. On the flip side, the home nation of ninjas, Japan, is so terrified about the effects of global warming that they created an international emissions reduction treaty called the Kyoto Protocol.
Category: Pirates 14, Ninjas 13
Pirates ain't no landlubbers concerned about global warming. They look forward to even bigger seas to sail. On the flip side, the home nation of ninjas, Japan, is so terrified about the effects of global warming that they created an international emissions reduction treaty called the Kyoto Protocol.
Category: Pirates 14, Ninjas 13
Category: Honor
Both ninjas and pirates follow honor codes. Ninjas take their code a little more seriously considering that they are willing to kill themselves for breaking it. Pirates face the threat of walking the plank but they are opportunists that will mutiny or backstab to claim a piece of booty or the juicy bounty on a crewmate.
Category: Pirates 14, Ninjas 14
Both ninjas and pirates follow honor codes. Ninjas take their code a little more seriously considering that they are willing to kill themselves for breaking it. Pirates face the threat of walking the plank but they are opportunists that will mutiny or backstab to claim a piece of booty or the juicy bounty on a crewmate.
Category: Pirates 14, Ninjas 14
Category: Holidays
Pirates earned International Talk Like a Pirate Day, which falls on September 19th. Ninjas have a forgettable, barely recognized Ninja Day on December 5th. Azeroth only recognizes Pirate Day so this is another win for pirates.
Score: Pirates 15, Ninjas 14
Pirates earned International Talk Like a Pirate Day, which falls on September 19th. Ninjas have a forgettable, barely recognized Ninja Day on December 5th. Azeroth only recognizes Pirate Day so this is another win for pirates.
Score: Pirates 15, Ninjas 14
Category: Seafood
Pirates spend most of their lives sailing the seas while ninjas are raised on an island so they both naturally end up eating a lot of seafood. The typical pirate diet consists of dry beans for chemical warfare, pickled vegetables and salted meat. Chefs tried to make up for low quality fish by drowning the meat in salt but pirates still ended up needing to use rum as a chaser for the terrible tasting dishes. Meanwhile, ninjas turned seafood into a culinary art with fancy sushi, liberal use of MSG, and trying to find the highest quality fish available.
Score: Pirates 15, Ninjas 15
Pirates spend most of their lives sailing the seas while ninjas are raised on an island so they both naturally end up eating a lot of seafood. The typical pirate diet consists of dry beans for chemical warfare, pickled vegetables and salted meat. Chefs tried to make up for low quality fish by drowning the meat in salt but pirates still ended up needing to use rum as a chaser for the terrible tasting dishes. Meanwhile, ninjas turned seafood into a culinary art with fancy sushi, liberal use of MSG, and trying to find the highest quality fish available.
Score: Pirates 15, Ninjas 15
Category: Flags
The notorious Jolly Roger flag design, featuring a skull and crossbones, instilled fear for centuries. The black flag is internationally recognized to be associated with pirates and heavily used in popular culture. Black flag color signals to ships/ports being attacked that they will be given quarter if they do not resist. Red flag color means no quarter and only death awaits the enemies of pirates.
Score: Pirates 16, Ninjas 15
The notorious Jolly Roger flag design, featuring a skull and crossbones, instilled fear for centuries. The black flag is internationally recognized to be associated with pirates and heavily used in popular culture. Black flag color signals to ships/ports being attacked that they will be given quarter if they do not resist. Red flag color means no quarter and only death awaits the enemies of pirates.
Score: Pirates 16, Ninjas 15
Category: California Amusement Park Rides
Ninja at Six Flags Magic Mountain is a steel suspension coaster known for a rough ride. This outdated coaster is easily eclipsed by other thrilling rides on site. Meanwhile, Pirates of the Caribbean may not be as thrilling but it offers an entertaining boat ride experience that inspired the "Yo Ho (A Pirate's Life for Me)" song and a highly successful film franchise. The forgettable thrill of Ninja isn't enough to overcome an epic pirate experience.
Score: Pirates 17, Ninjas 16
Ninja at Six Flags Magic Mountain is a steel suspension coaster known for a rough ride. This outdated coaster is easily eclipsed by other thrilling rides on site. Meanwhile, Pirates of the Caribbean may not be as thrilling but it offers an entertaining boat ride experience that inspired the "Yo Ho (A Pirate's Life for Me)" song and a highly successful film franchise. The forgettable thrill of Ninja isn't enough to overcome an epic pirate experience.
Score: Pirates 17, Ninjas 16
Category: Assassination
Ninjas are among the top assassins to the extent that powerful figures would hire ninjas as bodyguards for protection. Their stealth skills helped them to secretly infiltrate locations and carry out executions. On the flip side, pirates in varying states of soberness struggled to identify targets and failed miserably at any stealth attempt.
Category: Pirates 17, Ninjas 17
Ninjas are among the top assassins to the extent that powerful figures would hire ninjas as bodyguards for protection. Their stealth skills helped them to secretly infiltrate locations and carry out executions. On the flip side, pirates in varying states of soberness struggled to identify targets and failed miserably at any stealth attempt.
Category: Pirates 17, Ninjas 17
Category: Net Worth
Pirates get all of the booty and plunder. They stole enough wealth to become kings and queens. However, they have a terrible hiding system that involves treasure maps.
Score: Pirates 18, Ninjas 17
Pirates get all of the booty and plunder. They stole enough wealth to become kings and queens. However, they have a terrible hiding system that involves treasure maps.
Score: Pirates 18, Ninjas 17
Category: Espionage
"Espionage is the chief role of the ninja. With the aid of disguises, the ninja gathered information on enemy terrain and building specifications, as well as obtaining passwords and communiques." With their innate coding skills, ninjas have transformed themselves into new age hackers. Pirates actually hire ninjas to carry out espionage missions.
Score: Pirates 18, Ninjas 18
"Espionage is the chief role of the ninja. With the aid of disguises, the ninja gathered information on enemy terrain and building specifications, as well as obtaining passwords and communiques." With their innate coding skills, ninjas have transformed themselves into new age hackers. Pirates actually hire ninjas to carry out espionage missions.
Score: Pirates 18, Ninjas 18
Category: Kitchen Appliances
Ninjas shrank their weapon of choice, the razor sharp katakana, to fit inside a professional 1500 watt table top blender so powerful that it can shred your entire hand in nanoseconds. The deluxe model is also ideal for crushing fruits which is what inspired a video game called Fruit Ninja. All Ninja blenders are also microwave and dishwasher safe and BPA free (the substitute BPS is possibly even worse but you gotta wait at least a decade for industry funded studies to conclude their ongoing research). Order yours online today to receive a lower price and evade local taxes.
A pirate representative responded to an inquiry about kitchen appliances with many photos of stolen products including a Ninja blender. The representative was reported to authorities who placed a bounty on the thief. Seems safe to say that pirates have no appliance that can compete with the ubiquity of a blender.
Score: Pirates 19, Ninjas 19
Ninjas shrank their weapon of choice, the razor sharp katakana, to fit inside a professional 1500 watt table top blender so powerful that it can shred your entire hand in nanoseconds. The deluxe model is also ideal for crushing fruits which is what inspired a video game called Fruit Ninja. All Ninja blenders are also microwave and dishwasher safe and BPA free (the substitute BPS is possibly even worse but you gotta wait at least a decade for industry funded studies to conclude their ongoing research). Order yours online today to receive a lower price and evade local taxes.
A pirate representative responded to an inquiry about kitchen appliances with many photos of stolen products including a Ninja blender. The representative was reported to authorities who placed a bounty on the thief. Seems safe to say that pirates have no appliance that can compete with the ubiquity of a blender.
Score: Pirates 19, Ninjas 19
Category: Movies
The Pirates of the Caribbean franchise alone has a total worldwide gross of $4,524.40 billion (unadjusted for inflation). This compares with a grand total of $1,036.50 billion for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the top ninja franchise. Clearly, pirate movies are at least 4 times better because they bring in boatloads more money. Why pay to see a bunch of ninjas dancing in a slap battle? People would rather pay to see the worst pirate, Johnny Depp, sailing around the world to slap women.
Score: Pirates 20, Ninjas 19
The Pirates of the Caribbean franchise alone has a total worldwide gross of $4,524.40 billion (unadjusted for inflation). This compares with a grand total of $1,036.50 billion for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the top ninja franchise. Clearly, pirate movies are at least 4 times better because they bring in boatloads more money. Why pay to see a bunch of ninjas dancing in a slap battle? People would rather pay to see the worst pirate, Johnny Depp, sailing around the world to slap women.
Score: Pirates 20, Ninjas 19
Category: Tactics
Ninjas developed a sophisticated system of ninjutsu techniques that were recorded on secret scrolls. For example, Hitsuke is the practice of distracting guards by starting a fire away from the ninja's planned point of entry. The techniques were adapted to accomplish a wide variety of missions such as crowd dispersal, surprise tactics and espionage.
Pirate tactics were simple in comparison and can be summed up as "power in numbers." They mainly engaged in psychological warfare to intimidate the crews of targeted ships to surrender and give up their treasures. Warning shots and the threat of harm were enough to persuade most civilian ships to surrender.
Score: Pirates 20, Ninjas 20
Ninjas developed a sophisticated system of ninjutsu techniques that were recorded on secret scrolls. For example, Hitsuke is the practice of distracting guards by starting a fire away from the ninja's planned point of entry. The techniques were adapted to accomplish a wide variety of missions such as crowd dispersal, surprise tactics and espionage.
Pirate tactics were simple in comparison and can be summed up as "power in numbers." They mainly engaged in psychological warfare to intimidate the crews of targeted ships to surrender and give up their treasures. Warning shots and the threat of harm were enough to persuade most civilian ships to surrender.
Score: Pirates 20, Ninjas 20
Category: Sports Teams
In baseball, the Pittsburgh Pirates won the World Series in 1979, 1971, 1960, 1925 and 1909. In football, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers won the Super Bowl in 2003. The Oakland Raiders have also won the Super Bowl in 1984, 1981 and 1977.
The closest the ninjas have to a professional sports team was the New Haven Ninjas which played in the af2 for a single season in 2002 then folded at the end of the season. Ninjas are losers that have never won a championship!
Score: Pirates 21, Ninjas 20
In baseball, the Pittsburgh Pirates won the World Series in 1979, 1971, 1960, 1925 and 1909. In football, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers won the Super Bowl in 2003. The Oakland Raiders have also won the Super Bowl in 1984, 1981 and 1977.
The closest the ninjas have to a professional sports team was the New Haven Ninjas which played in the af2 for a single season in 2002 then folded at the end of the season. Ninjas are losers that have never won a championship!
Score: Pirates 21, Ninjas 20