► Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 7:30 PM to 11:00 PM Eastern ► Monday from 7:30 PM to 11:00 PM Eastern for 2 weeks when a new mythic raid opens
Healer Signing Bonus:
Holy Priest
DPS Signing Bonus:
Balance Druid
Elemental Shaman
Mage
Retribution Paladin
Warlock
Warrior
Corsairs (8/8M Uldir, 11/11M Antorus)
► Friday and Saturday from 8:00 PM to Midnight Eastern
Discipline Priest
Holy Paladin
Holy Priest
Restoration Shaman
DPS Signing Bonus:
Mage
Warlock
The Pitch
Pirates is a World of Warcraft guild founded in December 2015 by a group of nerds dedicated to tackling the highest difficulty raid content. Pirates succeeded at putting together a mythic progression team late in Draenor and pushed so hard into Hellfire Citadel that Archimonde begged for nerfs. The original core developed enough Herculean strength to lead a pair of teams that toppled the Burning Legion.
We are looking for skilled raiders capable of mastering rotations while laughing at mechanics for being too easy. We will continue recruiting until Sylvanas dies or runs out of money. If you are prepared to become a pawn, join us in the battle for Azeroth!
We take raiding seriously but we have a relaxed atmosphere in which you can crack terrible jokes. We won't tolerate toxic, elitist attitudes. We encourage members to ask for help in guild chat and the active Discord server.
When it comes to the booty, our Loot Council distributes gear to maximize raid performance. Decisions are primarily based on performance and attendance, followed by size of upgrade. We use RCLootCouncil to expedite decision making based on responses from the whole raid team.
If you've read this far, apply on WorstGuild.com or directly contact the officer listed below:
Scarcrux the Dread Pirate - Scarcrux#1949 (Battle.net) or Scarcrux#8442 (Discord)
Froese the Weekend Recruiter - Beefy#1339 (Battle.net) or Froese#0950 (Discord)
"Psst! Avast there! It be too late to alter course, mateys...and there be plundering pirates lurking in every cove, waitin' to board. Sit closer together, and keep your ruddy hands inboard. That be the best way to repel boarders. And mark well me words, mateys...dead men tell no tales! Ye come seekin' adventure and salty ol' pirates, eh? Sure ye come to the proper place. But keep a weather eye open, mates, and hold on tight, with both hands if you please...there be squalls ahead, and Davy Jones waiting for them what don't obey."
"Hands down, no contest. Ninjas wear slippers, pirates wear boots. Most pirates have a wooden leg, too. And it’s hard to hide a giant sailboat. Plus, if needed, a ninja could put on a tuxedo and scope out a dinner party without alerting any suspicion. Try that with a pirate; it’d be like inviting Dog the Bounty Hunter to a wedding on Cape Cod."
"Sure there’s something about ninjas: the mysterious, strong, silent-type is appealing to some, but no ninja’s gonna get involved in any sort of relationship, serious or otherwise. Pirates, on the other hand, while also not keen on getting roped into, say, marriage, at least keep up with a few “friends” in each port and like to throw down, get drunk, and have a sexy old time whenever they hit land."
If you do a Google search for “Pirate Training” you’ll find a ton of games. Do a search for “Ninja Training” and you’ll find Ninja Training. Because it exists. Pirate training didn't exist. Besides training their livers to consume copious amounts of rum.
Rum generally contains at least 40% alcohol by volume while the ninja drink of choice, sake, only contains 15-20%. Clearly, the more potent alcoholic beverage is the better one.
"The healthy diet, daily exercise, and abstinence from smoking, drugs, and alcohol keep ninjas in peak physical condition. I’ll take a healthy, non-smoking, well-rested ninja against a hung over, wheezing, been-out-at-sea-for-months-with-no-cardio-training pirate any day."
Tyler 'Ninja' Blevins makes over $500,000 a month as the most popular streamer on Twitch. Yet this amount pales in comparison to the profits that pirate thieves make illegally streaming licensed content all over the internet.
"If you were wise, you never doubted. If you doubted you have little chance of understanding the complexity and consequences of your mental miscalculation. It's very simple. Much like the swift and masterfully orchestrated barrage of a monkey slapping you silly all the while sorting different systems of data hierarchically in his head. His disappearance is even swifter as you struggle to your senses helplessly...
Killer coding ninja monkeys do exist. At long last, like Jedis of yesteryear, they have revealed themselves..."
The pirates operate a universe wide tor network only limited by the speed of your connection. Meanwhile, the ninjas are merely capable of overnight mail for a heavy surcharge. In software distribution, the pirates are light years ahead of ninjas.
Pirates have been a staple of LEGO for decades. However, the ninjas did not sit idle. They invested heavily in modern technology. Billions of dollars worth of R&D produced the incredible Ninjago line that includes spinners and flyers. Meanwhile, the pirates got a lame set for the Caribbean franchise. This round goes to the ninjas.
Ninjas: Ninja Gaiden, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Last Ninja, Sengoku, Mark of the Ninjas, Fruit Ninja
Pirates: Sid Meier's Pirates!, Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag, Monkey Island, Sea of Thieves, Pirates
Pirate themed video games offer more variety and entertaining, successful titles. While Ninja Gaiden is a great franchise, he doesn't top creations from the likes of Sid Meier and Ron Gilbert (Monkey Island). Sea of Thieves is the latest big pirate adventure that's already topping sales charts.
Ninja Warrior has been entertaining audiences for over a decade as hundreds of competitors attempt to complete a series of obstacle courses of increasing difficulty. The only pirate themed reality show, Pirate Master, sank within a season after one of the contestants died.
The Law of Inverse Ninja Strength states that "the strength of any one ninja is inversely proportional to the number of ally ninja able to assist the original ninja." As the number of ninjas increase, their strength decreases. Therefore, ninjas are the worst teammates while the strength of pirates grow in numbers.
Ninjas have mobilized cats and monkeys in their strike forces. Pirates have monkeys as well along with talking parrots that are no match for deadly ninja cats. Even the kittens mean business no matter how cute they look.
Ninjas may train harder but pirates are not to be underestimated physically for two major reasons. First off, they gladly take performance enhancing drugs without fear of side effects. The other reason is that pirates often lose body parts in bloody battles which is why popular nicknames include Peg Legs, Hook and Patches. This is advantageous thanks to the military funded development of cybernetic limbs more powerful than natural ones. Pirates are now able to gain superhuman strength and reflexes capable of relegating ninjas to a historical record called the obituary.
Ninjas are well trained and in better shape than pirates which gives them a huge athletic edge. In addition, ninjas are better adapted to cold climates while the pirates have been getting drunk off rum in the hot Caribbean. A conservative prediction is numerous gold medals for ninjas and multiple DNF marks for pirates.
Breaking News: All Pirates were banned after testing positive for PEDs.
Pirates dominated several expansions in aggro decks for nearly every class. Patches terrorized the landlubbers with his infamous line "I'm in chaaaargee now" until he got nerfed recently. There's a whole line of useful ninja cards. Meanwhile, Finja the Flying Star, is the only ninja card played in a single paladin deck full of murlocs.
Most ninjas are Asian which is one of the highest performing groups on intelligence tests. Meanwhile, pirates are drunk more than half the time which decreases their intelligence by at least 50%.
Pirates are racially diverse and inclusive with a global presence that ranges from white to black. Ninjas typically hail from Japan where 98% of the population is Japanese and declining due to a society that doesn't have enough sex.