I need some advice. Ended up logging out this week with no m+ key done. Couldn’t get my friends to help and I was too terrified to jump into the unknown world of pugs. Basically spent the last hour mulling on that while mindlessly flying around Nazjatar.
Had a +6 Shrine of the Storm key sitting in my bags but was also scared of starting a group to do it. Had no idea the kind of people I’d get, whether they’d rage over a mistake and leave, and had no idea whether it’d be finished.
I’m not the biggest M+ fan but I do like to get at least a failing one done every week. But I feel like that’s hurt me in the end because I don’t devote my life to M+ like some seem to. I do want to learn them but mentally a lot of things are just holding me back.
Sitting here right now hating myself over how much of a weakling I am. Anyhow, just needed to get this rant off my chest before bed, please forgive me.
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The worst time to look is the night before reset. Tuesday will have more and more forgiving groups. Desirable key and affix are the most important things to consider. Good combination means it should be easier to find others in the finder.
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Anxiety is terrible. I’m sorry, I can’t offer advice, I have constant panic and anxiety myself. I write ‘Relax’ on my arm regularly.
I can offer you an awkward, socially anxious hug that is truly from the heart.
/hug.
Good luck!
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I had a friend ask me if I wanted to do a 14, but I turned him down because my mage is only 425 and has just a couple of green essences. I’m working on catching him up but that’s going to take time. I had hoped that he was gonna ask me later if I wanted to at least do a +10 or something, hehe.
But yeah, the social aspect along with the M+ game itself just feels overwhelming at times. The higher keys especially terrify me and I’m always super relieved when they’re over.
I go through the same stuff. Just gotta do it. Jump into the fire. It took me over a week before I got into tanking dungeons on my Tank lol. Also make it very clear in the beginning of the group that it’s a chill run, no pressure. Once u get in there and get comfortable it really opens up. I do admit I still get like that though.
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I think what you are doing now could help you
like ask in the forum if anyone wants to join, maybe in the forum the pressure wont be the same
I would love to help you if I was doing this kind stuff, I’m always looking for chill peep to run so M+ with, people I know we can jump in have some fun and even if something goes wrong nobody is gonna be a dick about I know lots of people on the forum want that too
I get you OP. I’d probably never do anything in groups if it wasn’t for the one person I play WoW with pushing me into pugs and such. Usually I do ok, but I tend to be really hard on myself for even the slightest mistake.
On the forums I chat the most, autocorrect is great. Ingame my English is terrible, so I avoid most social situations. I get really self conscious and even in guilds avoid talking much.
Yeah I’m sitting at 3/4 mythical done for the weekly quest and I know I’m not gonna finish. It took me all week just to do three and two of them were yesterday. I dread pugging. The players of this game have changed so much. It used to be an adventure for everyone and we were all so amazed. Now you sign up for a +2 shrine just to finish a weekly quest and they’re checking scores and crap number crunching making PowerPoint presentations before they even invite you. It’s nuts. I hate it. It ruins all the fantasy which is why I play in the first place.
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I know how you feel. Honestly the only advice i can give you is take it slow and easy.
If you don’t play at high level currently (raid and high keys) there’s no need to do it every week, i for one have missed a loooot of weekly chests because i felt like you, but i’ve come to learn that it really doesn’t matter for my level of play.
Do stuff you’re confortable with, you’ll slowly and steadily get better stuff and learn more about both your class and mechanics to improve your play and get more confident.
Like others said, the best days to do m+ are Tue, Wed and Fri. I haven’t done keys for 3 weeks before this one and last friday i decided to look for a +10 as dps (i usually tank), after some time found a group and we blasted ML with 40% time left.
Give it time, start from a good place and improve from there. Ignore the bad experiences and keep going up when possible. There’s nothing rushing you as it is, find joy in playing and you should be fine.
This might sound weird, but give roleplaying a shot! It’s easier to step into a different character and leave your anxiety behind. Once you’ve build up confidence through another character, it will really help with your own anxiety and confidence problems.
It worked for me!
Sadly I have no suggestions OP as I’m in the same boat as you. However most of my friends don’t even play anymore and haven’t for years. The only time I really have to play is in the morning for a couple hours before work when no one is on so it’s hard meeting new people as well.
It’s weird because I find my social anxiety to be worse online than irl and I think that’s mostly due to all the bad apples I’ve run into which you’d think I wouldn’t let it bother me since I don’t actually know these people but idk. Anxiety is weird and awful. Don’t hate yourself though, you’re not alone I promise you that.
Also I do have an EU friend who is running 10+ keys regularly with her fiance. At first she was getting toxic groups until they started forming their own groups and writing in the description “chill group” or something along those lines while accepting lower ilvl players over the high ilvl ones. Apparently they had more successful groups with the lower ilvl groups and they were generally less toxic as well.
Just a thought, whether it’s just a coincidence or not, I have no I idea. Maybe you could even try the perky pugs discord group? I’ve never actually pugged through there but maybe you’ll find some nice people there too.
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It can be difficult to find a group of people who understand and can support you. I hope you can find a group that does. No reason to hate yourself. You’re not a weakling. You just haven’t had the right group to support you and build up that confidence.
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Tbh OP I’d rather not complete my weekly either, if it meant pugging. And it has nothing to do with social anxiety.
Pugs are just not worth the headache.
I don’t raid outside of LFR, I don’t do mythics, and honestly after joining a guild that erupted in the ultimate drama (a player died IRL) literally a day after I joined, I don’t even do that anymore.
Social anxiety is a b-i. This is a more fun game with friends (I used to know a ton of people IRL who played, not so much anymore) but it’s easier on my mind if I just solo than try to get on with internet peeps there’s a 99.9% chance I’ll have nothing in common with.
Totally not worth the effort and I get what I need from the game despite not being very social. I treat people well when I have to talk to them, but I’d just as soon not go out of my way. This even carries over into RL, other than my therapist and other counselors I barely socialize outside my SO and a very few friends. Disabled in fact, but anxiety is just a single facet of the issues.
As far as the weekly goes, I did push through and get that done, but was anxious about it the whole time. As I’d always fill the DPS/healer spots quickly, I’d have to wait a while for that one tank to sign up to get the run going, and was always nervous about something happening that would make that tank leave. And if that happened the task of finding another one would have been all on me. I’d finally breathe a sign of relief after the run was over, the quest was closer to completion, and I didn’t have to worry about folks leaving until the next one.
But that was just with +0s to get the weekly done. Keys would stress me out even more, which is why I have yet to attempt to step into that pool.
As someone with social anxiety I’ve found over the years that being in raids or being in mythic 10s isn’t a problem for me, but leading my own groups just isn’t an option. Way too much stress.
I leave that to people better suited for leading. As for mythic plus, I still get my 10 done at least once a week but I never use my own key or lead my own group. In fact the +9 key I get out of my weekly chest just sits in my bag all week till I get another key. Weird system I’m sure, but it works for me.
WHAT A SISSY!
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Just kidding 
Seriously, though, don’t feel bad. You’re under no real obligation to anyone to do anything in this game. You are the one paying $15/month to play the game; exactly how you get your $15 of value is entirely up to you.
Want to run M+? Do it.
Want to not run M+? Cool, do that instead.
I would encourage you to continue to work on improving your game, because of the rewards inherent in doing so. But this is something you should do for yourself, not because others are expecting it of you.
Good luck out there!
Its online. You could have on a bathrobe and people won’t know. You are also using a avatar and game name
Just do it! if your good everyone will be silent and wont talk, God for bid you cause a wipe though you see that more will that more in m+10’s ipurely only pug and it’s completely doable and you always got the ignore 1/5 pugs succeed roughly just keep at it you’ll get your weeklies.
I was terrified myself. But look at it this way - the key is yours. Other people chose to join your group themselves. You did them a favor by accepting them in. So be the master of the situation and avoid relegating yourself into a state of mind of you receiving a favor from them. It helped me.
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