say you have a sober dwarf an honest goblin a tauren rogue and a gnome monk then drop a bag of gold coins in the center of gurubashi arena and wait to see which one will reach it first?
the gnome of course everyone knows the other 3 don’t exist
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How many gnomes does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
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You just made my day very early Mortis, so heres one for you.
Why do demon hunters deal so much damage but suck at mechanics?
- Because their class is so simple they fall asleep on their keyboard.
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Thank you.
What’s green and red, has a thousand eyes, a thousand arms and legs, but can’t see or move?
The dumpster behind Mechagon City.
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the Blizzard dev team was recently spotted having a few drinks at the local club one of the other patrons was overheard commenting about seeing them together and was quoted
“Ions Tigores and beers oh my”
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How do you count the gnomes in that dumpster?
Pitchfork
There is only one way to count gnomes, and that is by shoveling them into your mouth.
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It’s 420am. Rip.
Ok, last one, have to get to work before boss shows up:
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Lets seeeeeee. Something funny.
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medicine is best medicine
Did you hear about the guy who got hit with a kaja cola?
It’s okay, it was a Soft Drink
Here’s more funny.
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a dwarf asks a gnome mage pal of his for advice on how to get blood out of cloth armor and the gnome comes over to see the stained item when he gets there the dwarf shows him a big pool of blood on the rug in his home the gnome looks down and is puzzled then says but I thought you said the blood was on some robe to which the dwarf smiling evilly at him responds by pulling out a mop bucket full of water some rope and a stick and says oh not yet but it will be
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Why do mages and warlocks get invited to all the parties?
Because mages bring food and warlocks get you stoned.
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So, a dwarf comes into tavern, asks for 4 pints, drinks them and leaves… now the bartender notices that he keeps doing this for a few weeks, but only on fridays.
So the bartender finally asks the dwarf next time he decided to come in, the dwarf just wanting a pint answers the curious bartender.
“Aye lad, me sibling’s be off adventurin, so i order four pints in there honor, since it’s what we use to do back then.”
with that he drinks his ale.
He comes back next week and orders 3 ale this time, the bartender was surprised and said to the dwarf, “Oh no, something happen to one of them?”
and the dwarf just in response…
“No lad, i just quit drinkin!”
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Then there’s this absolute gem from critical role. A show where voice actors play dnd.
Context. The guys in the group ( i mean the players ) are going to a hospital to get something related to a quest.
Top left: Fjord the half orc ( aka Turalyon and Gazlowe )
Top right: Caleb Widogast the human mage ( aka Illidan )
Bottom left: Nott the female goblin
Bottom right: Mollymawk the Tiefling
I saw this all happen live and I about died
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