This actually brings up a valid point about $$money. I was raised poor but my husband and I built a business that prospered. Upper middle-class. During that time I was able to spend money on “interviewing” my prospective therapists. I could spend money to go to about 2-3 visits, because honestly it takes that long to know if you gel, and make a personal choice. Okay, 2008 hit, life-threatening illness hit, a combination of things and suddenly I’m back in lower middle-class. Also my therapist has retired. Suddenly trying to find a therapist is a nightmare. (and to top it off they look my children’s age or younger) Mainly we’re in the place that makes too much money to qualify for help, but not enough money to pay for it ourselves - let alone get to go shopping for one. So. Now what? What happens to the person that is just starting to look for help in this situation? They’re stuck. And trust me, in the luxury of getting to pick a therapist originally there are some really weird therapist out there, and some with their pet beliefs on getting better.
The first therapist you get isn’t magically the one. And then you get told if you have used more than a couple you’re the one with the problem committing to therapy. I also had the luxury of going for however long I wanted. When I first went to one I committed myself to a year fo showing up no matter what. I mean you go in, you bare your soul, and the therapist has about 5 minutes to zip it all back up and send you back into the world. I can’t count the amount of times I hit the car and just cried.
Then I had one that told me he was concerned because I hadn’t cried - the self-same one that basically shamed me by mentioning I had used various therapist. Didn’t mention the one I stuck with for 15. Not to mention the various pet peeve treatments.
My brother and SIL weren’t so lucky. When the family, me included who lasted the longest supporting them and finally had to let go (paid for both of their rehabs - one of which they put my SIL in a room with a crazy lady and she left the next morning, and we lost her, literally, not dead. She disappeared for a couple years and went down the rabbit hole. She can’t afford help either, but she did luck out with a therapist eventually. Years.
It’s kind of incredible how flippantly mental health issues are treated despite it being more clear than ever that it’s something that practically everybody wrestles with at some point or another.
I’ve never had depressive episodes or anything that severe, but after I started paying attention to my own I realized how many factors play into it and how much it actually varies day to day, and both are much more significant than expected. We kind of roll with the assumption that mental health is some kind of static attribute and if you were good once you’re good forever and thus, is safe to ignore for most of us but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Money is one issue. The other issue is stuff like parents
A child: develops a mental illness, struggles with school, tries to seek help
Parents: How can you do this to me? You know how this makes me feel? Stop being so dramatic! Other kids have it way worse! How can you embarrass me like that??!!
A child, now adult: Still mentally ill, but has now learned to never open up
Parents: Hey sweetie if there’s anything going on you can open up to us!!! We’re FaMiLy
yup, and when anyone says anything about anxiety and not doing dungeons they get immediately shut down and told not play then
Oh heavens, I cried. I’ll have to watch them.
God, this is so true. It’s constant awareness which get exhausting all on it’s own. When some days that gratitude list can taking a flying leap out the window!!
The other thing is we know exercise and diet helps, but it’s got to be small steps to get that point. Do this, do that…take self-responsibility, it’s your fault if you don’t… So we blame ourselves and pile onto the, “I’m a failure” trainwreck.
I’m sorry, that’s another tragedy - or paradoxically the parent that decides every little outburst means there is something wrong and they put the kid on meds he/she doesn’t need and continues to act like there is something wrong basically because they can’t parent… ummm, yeah, gotta a sibling that did this to her/his kids. It was awful to watch. Now they do have problems!
Yeah I was misdiagnosed in my tweens with adhd. Turns out. My teachers just did nothing to stop my bullying so I wouldn’t bother paying attention. I was already “50 pounds soaking wet” as my grandpa would say at that time ( or whatever a underweight tween would be. I was a runt ) And the ritalin made me rarely eat so it got to the point where you could see the bones in my face. Once Mom noticed she put a full stop to taking the meds. Had to eat a heck of a lot of peanut butter to gain some weight back lol so hey least that part was nice. And probably why I usually get my own jar of peanut butter to sometimes snack out of with a spoon.
Yay, mom!! Now wish me luck in getting through the next 5 days with a stiff upper lip and a lot of faking it. There’s lots that will be good, but…you know, but… So far I haven’t moved and have stuck close to this thread because helping and reading others via anonymous long distance is the only thing keeping me calm right now.
With how the world is my mental health as been crap. Worried soon people like me in the LGBT community may get bounties put on us in some states. After all these new bounty laws in Texas and Oklahoma and if a certain court case gets over turned I see a LOT of other cases getting overturned after it and a lot of rights getting taken away.
I wish you lots of luck and some peace if you can find it. I have a few things I do, not sure if any would be something you are interested in or not.
Prep as much as I can ahead of time - batch cook, easy snacks, etc.
Leave a list so people can find things themselves without me serving. Coffee, tea, cereal, leftovers, etc.
I openly point out I need decompression time and quiet. Then I go do that. We have an agreement that they may go out and do something and I just don’t tag along. They don’t get offended.
Ask for help!!! My guests very often do the shopping for me, help prep the veggies or something while I nap, or even carve the roast. Oh, and often people just do dishes and pick up after themselves. I have to breathe and let go a bit because I am very particular about how I want things done, but it beats a sink of dishes.
I still have a terrible time with it, but I don’t throw up as much anymore and the migraines are fewer. I found my guests really are good with taking care of themselves without me being totally in charge and running things. It helps.
I still have not gotten the veggies prepped for the slow cooker - or even showered. I say all those tips, but it is so so so hard. I have told myself that if all I do today is the veggies so they are ready for tomorrow I win. A shower is a bonus. IF I can do that all I have to do tomorrow is assemble things in the crock pot and run the vaccum.
I don’t believe Mental Health should be labelled as such. Mental illnesses are caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. Therefore, it’s a physical illness.
The fact Mental Health is still a title is what causing a lot of the stigma out there. People hear Mental Health and instantly start pigeon holing.
The moment we class mental illnesses as the physical issues they actually are, it’s a step in the right direction.
Eh mental health is a pretty wide umbrella that includes things that aren’t traditionally treated with medication like burnout. I think of it more as a generalized state of one’s mental and emotional wellbeing than a finite set of illnesses.
You are absolutely correct. Because it’s not treated as a disease one has to jump through more hoops to get assistance as well AND are usually denied. And people are still in the dark ages about it.
When my husband had his break with reality I went to many doctors who were trying the latest meds - either making it worse or no success. Finally they mentioned ECT. I even freaked at the mention of it. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and every other tropes came to mind. Then I find out the patient is sedated (knocked out,) I can be there in the room to hold his hand, they typically only do one electrode on one side of the brain, and it takes about a session a week for 8 weeks. One side effect is short term memory loss, but it’s not permanent. It’s like hitting the reset. button. I almost did it but decided to try one more doctor. The thing is the meds also have the same side effects. I wonder now if I did the right thing. There’s just no one to ask.
I truly feel like we’re mucking about in the middle-ages when it comes to helping with these diseases. The only ones benefiting are the insurance companies. It’s the same with alcoholism/addiction. It’s a disease, not a character flaw.
Of course there are going to be exceptions. But even then, PTSD caused by trauma is again your brain chemicals not being able to adjust accordingly to keep you in a good state.
I’m not sure what you’ve gone through, but it’s never a pleasant thing.
My shrink described it more as “your brain rewired itself to try and survive”.
Comparing it to physical stuff is like I could just go “Oh lemme just take a rest day and I’ll be cured” like I hurt my ankle or something so I got a bit trigger happy in my defense.
I understand your point. However, I do believe that if it was recognised more as the physical illness it is, rather than just mental, it may go towards removing a lot of the stigma.
if there’s anything going on 
Yay, mom!! Now wish me luck in getting through the next 5 days with a stiff upper lip and a lot of faking it. There’s lots that will be good, but…you know, but… So far I haven’t moved and have stuck close to this thread because helping and reading others via anonymous long distance is the only thing keeping me calm right now.