So I am 30 and I decided to make a change for myself (which i should have done in my 20s but oh well)
My last post (which was 1 yr ago) i stated that i never had a job, and lived in my mom’s basement for free.
Some updates: I have got my first job (an online call center job that I work from home) but still in my moms basement rent-free.
I want to go outside and get accustomed to the world by doing grocery shopping, doing errands, etc. But I have severe social anxiety, I haven’t left my house since I was 26. I’m always afraid of people judging me because i am sooo awkward.
Can you please give me some tips? i want to try to improve myself more
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Not caring about what other people think of you helps. If it makes you feel good, you got this, I believe in you.
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I’m a socially awkward, autistic man. I only know how to socialize on the internet. I, too, would like some tips.
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Best advice:
NEVER take advice from a bunch of unqualified strangers on the net…
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Baby steps. Grocery shopping sounds like an overload, especially for someone who has not been out in there many years.
I have a relative who gets anxiety from shopping. So, I would probably suggest something smaller like just taking a walk.
Having friends visit at the house. Go for a walk with them. Hang out with a relative.
I used to be very much like you unemployed and gaming almost 18 hours a day back in the early 2000s. Just going into the movie theater, I would get wiped out and exhausted. Need a 3 hour nap.
Thinking that other people are watching me or having invasive thoughts. But then I started going to a local park on a non-busy day.
Also…Picking non busy hours of the day to do shopping. Explore early morning. Late at night.
Ever go to Walmart at 3 AM?
No one visits the local mall here. It’s a big open space that you can work on agoraphobia. That’s one of my biggest issues.
Go wherever you have a 24 hour shopping ? Things like that
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Hey man. Baby steps. Nicely done.
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Please seek real therapy from a qualified therapist who can tailor advice to your individual needs and who can work with you over time. Yes, it is expensive but if you’re living rent free you could consider seeing that person. Finding the “right” therapist is its own challenge but I promise it’s a lot better than advice from the forums.
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Hey man, you didn’t mention whether you have a car or not but if you end up buying a used car while you’re getting your life off the ground then whatever you do don’t buy any Chrysler brand vehicle
signed,
-a message from the future
Better off buying a bicycle. Good way to exercise and get out there.
We have super long bicycle paths on the beach that people ride. No one’s gonna bother you. Heck, I see a lot of people just walking around with earbuds.
You practically have to get in their face for them to pay attention to you.
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understand that everyone is too wrapped up in their phones, or too busy trying to get stuff done, and nobody cares.
anyone who is willing to judge you, is also busy judging everyone else.
they will have forgotten about you in 15 seconds time, when they’re busy judging the next person.
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talk to a healthcare professional. seriously.
I take meds that help me immensely with being able to go out in public, but I’m not going to name them here as I’m not a dr. and don’t want to recommend anything specific.
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One thing that’s helpful to remember in a positive way. People out there all have their own issues they’re dealing with, the stuff they’re concentrating on doing, For the most part, no one is going to care to notice you. People are going to looking for what is on their grocery list, not judging everyone in their vicinity.
You are your own harshest critic, strangers generally aren’t going to be paying any attention to judge people they don’t know. You’re doing call center work, so you’re already interacting with people more than you would running errands, you can do this.
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It’s like how we are in the game.
People running through each other in getting to the quest and not caring who is around them. Except for the part where we can’t run through each other the real world is the same.
I can scream the sky is falling and someone will be like yeah is that a DLC?
Just don’t be a phone zombie. Watch where you’re going lol
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I feel that. I learned to just go out anyway. No matter what, people will judge. Say to phooey with em!
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I was actually surprised, making iContact with some people they would actually be shy.
Any of the others look at it as a challenge. I tend to look past people with my 20,000 yard stare. Like I seent things yo. Sixth sense…
hi, I feel for you.
People had all sorts of advice, most I had already told myself, but it didn’t overcome the fear. There was a series of meds, and in a perfect world I should have and still should, have seen a therapist. The fear is real.And yes, those damn breathing exercises do help. Sure, I’d love to meditate, follow Tai Chi classes online, or anything, but it just doesn’t happen. Some might eventually.
First it There are also different modalities in which to learn that don’t require human interaction. Remember, you don’t have to force yourself - there are ways. Just because we don’t interact like the average human doesn’t mean we’re stuck.
There are small things ,you must realize, that give you peace. Reach for and expand on those. In your own time, in your own way.
I wish you peace of heart most of all, and big ((hugs)) dear one. You are not damaged goods. You are perfect. 
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I get anxiety man, trust I do and I sympathize.
I’m more of the tough love sort.
I don’t think we get anything meaningful done by being coddled.
The best thing I tell myself is “no one can save you but yourself”.
And that’s not saying nobody cares, you will find this world is full of good natured, supportive people.
But in the end, you can not survive like this. We should take pride in independence.
You are a grown man, start being one, and good luck.
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If you haven’t had professional help, I would strongly suggest looking for some. I know some people with social anxiety disorders have trouble with online video meetings, but it’s becoming easier to access quality mental health services from the comfort of your home.
If you have insurance coverage from your employer, some or all of the cost might be covered.
I’d hate to think of you missing out on some of the basic joys of life due to this, and I understand that anxiety can be difficult to control. Many people don’t get just how powerful it can be. Like any medical condition, you need to talk to someone with the knowledge that only a trained professional can provide.
I wish you all the best. 
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Write angry letters to your senator demanding an end to the drug war so you can get some clean benzo. It work good for that, but the medical industry only provides it to older white women.
The kicker is, it’s not what other people think of you. It’s that other people don’t think about you. At all. It’s extremely egocentric to think that anyone is devoting any mental energy to dwell on you beyond any direct interaction during that interaction.
Random people do not care about your awkwardness.
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