But that would be the issue.
If the OP is autistic, they cant always let things go like you or I might.
My wife HAS to get it resolved in HER head, regardless of how Im feeling and have let it go.
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I’ve seen Akundathegay posting a few times here but I don’t recall any negative interaction personally.
My son is. He has a mind like a tack. He can remember everything. Hated school so You know how that goes.
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I usually explain the reason if I feel someone has upset me, or if I have unintentionally upset them. (Never intended.)
Some people don’t want to know, ok that’s fine.
But I’m more than willing to explain something. And actually very little upsets me. It’s pretty difficult to offend me. I tend to just laugh it off or ignore it.
Communication is always a good thing. It’s very easy to misunderstand something, then take offence as what was percieved. When, actually it wasn’t ment to be hurtful.
Hang in there! 
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I wonder if we are actually being trolled… now that I think of it. What a meanie-head.
Ive always envied people like that.
A friend years ago had the same talent.
Has to be nice not having to live life taking notes, lol
But… is it not my business if I’m hurting them and I want to stop hurting them? I want to know not just for my benefit, but their benefit, and also the benefit of any third party.
I’m trying. It’s so important to me to become a better person. To me that’s the meaning of life. Growth. To become better, to constantly improve. It’s difficult. I have a lot of issues mental, and physical. But I refuse to give up. I want to be a light in people’s life. I want people to feel happy and good. I know life can’t always be happy and good which is why I want to contribute to those moments because life can be hard.
I will try even harder. I feel like I’m ripping my hair out trying to figure out what it was so I can not do it again. I’ll need to go over every single post I made over the past few months I think and analyze it. Maybe see if I can get a friends help because I know I’m not always good at seeing what I did wrong cuz I know my intent. So If I shared it to someone else, especially without context of it being me maybe they’ll say “wow that sounds messed up” and I’ll know that’s what I did wrong. I don’t know how to stop thinking about it, or to think about it less. I think this much about it because I care this much about it.
But wanting to do better isn’t the same as actually doing better. I had this conversation with my friends the other day. I have a terrible memory and ended up saying something triggering to a friend. They told me that they’ve told me multiple times this is triggering. So it was not enough to simply be like “ok I’ll try to remember”. I needed to know not only what I did wrong, but what went wrong in my brain. So I made a document listing all the potential triggers of my friends because I know my memory is terrible so I had to not just vaugely want to do better. I had to be proactive in doing be tter.
I honestly don’t know how to not… I should never be a politician because I would completely buckle under being hated and it’s impossible for someone not to hate you as a politician no matter what your stances are.
Mood…
I try, I really try. Some days are harder then others. My brain fog has been much worse lately and so has my pain. But I don’t want excuses. No one wants to hear an excuse. I want to be better regardless of how much shiza I’m dealing with.
There are def some people who I think are the problem and not me, but there are others where I think it’s me.
I appreciate you and everyone else saying this.
That’s… very difficult fo rme.
I usually don’t have aproblem telling people when they upset me, unless it’s super minor.
It’s why a diagnosis can be so powerful. I know some docs ar elike “I don’t want to label you” but not diagnosing someone doesn’t magic the autism away. The label of autism is a term that gives a word to what someone is already experiencing in their life.
I feel like I’m constantly plagued with guilt. I know I’ve done bad things, I know I can’t fix them so I try to do better. I used to be a really terrible kid. Sure I had my trauma but that doesn’t justify being hurtful. I don’t think I’ve done anything super bad as an adult yet but I still feel super guilty for every tiny thing, real or imagined.
You’re wife sounds great <3
Because I don’t know what’s going on. Only that people are upset at me. So I am reaching out to anyone on the forums so I can hopefully get an idea of what I’ve done wrong even if from other people.
They told me as much. They just didn’t say exactly what I was doing.
One I’m not particularly good at.
Uhhh this hurts my head. I prefer to be open and honest.
Yeah I tend to hold onto things and spiral.
I appreciate it, thank you.
In some ways that sounds like a curse, but it’s hard to say what’s worse cuz I have an incredibly poor memory.
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This is what matters. 
More than anything else.
I hope for this, for myself, too. We can only do our best; that shall have to suffice.
Yours,
/Sat
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Problem is that too much of that and I pull out of the human race - literally: I’m agoraphobic and that just started five years ago. I’ve gotten off this forum a zillion times because I’m afraid I’ll get hurt or react wrongly. Then I have to play it over to solve what’s wrong with me. (63 and have had enough therapy to last a life time, and am on enough meds). Sometimes I just have to jump in and try to be fearless or I feel like I’m going to learn my ability to communicate with others at all.
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I don’t remember everything but I generally don’t have to take notes and I can confirm, it is nice.
I can’t imagine how your posts would have upset anyone. If people are that triggered by you trying to be nice and promote positivity… that’s their problem, not yours.
You’re fine by me!
Youre gonna have to ignore anyone who comes back with a snappy response in here. They are more saying juvenile, edgy crap than trying to help.
I fully get the need to ‘work it out’…my wife does that exact thing all the time.
I can literally explain to her how something IS resolved, but 2 days later shes still coming to me trying to get it resolve in HER mind.
Theres NOTHING wrong with self analysis…thats what mature ADULTS do and juvenile children dont. So you are proving yourself as a mature adult in self moderating.
If some in here did it, this forum wouldnt suck as bad as it does at times.
I don’t recall ever interacting with you, OP, but I think the best way to be on a forum like this is to post your opinions and views and not really care what anyone else thinks. Mileage will vary depending on the person, obviously.
i have no idea who you are, so keep on truckin 
Some of us have backgrounds which others can’t relate to. When I was a kid, I was taught grammar from a book that used sport facts and examples. I didn’t understand what the heck was going on with a lot of it.
Eventually I went into an academic speciality that perhaps 10 people on the planet care or understand. If I so much as open my mouth about what I do, people roll their eyes, question my value to humanity, question the value of my work. . . and they do that without giving a damn about me and my feelings.
So I ask, why spend so much energy caring about what people think? Focus on the ones who you can get along with and minimize the ones you feel most strongly about having upset. If they come to you, then you’ve got a friend.
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Now my generation, would be cruel and mean if we said what we really wanted to say towards the newer generations. It’s just how we were raised and with the politically correct culture that is today I try to tip toe around certain subjects less I get in trouble for being Frank.
But depending on if I knew the person, I might try to be nice to not be upsetting, but if I grew up and knew the person then I would call it out so that the person got the gist of what I was saying. Honestly, I think our culture has devolved instead of evolved because there are too many sensitive people these days.
Ya,
I don’t like your ears and you’re ikky tall.
yes…EXACTLY.
I have to keep on constant guard with her. Anything that Id ignore myself, can literally get her going and it’ll be a day or three before shes able to let it go.
We literally keep a little Barcardi on hand for when she feels like she needs to forcibly stop it by getting a little tipsy.
We’ve tried different prescriptions but they either didnt work at all…or made things worse.
She’ll have a shot if shes at the point where shes losing it and about 10 minutes later shes doing a lot better and we can talk it out better because shes not climbing the walls at that point.
My son is the same way. He’s a fairly normal 13 yr old boy with the complete inability to read social queues and has an extremely hard time communicating. I have raised him just like any normal kid. I don’t treat him with soft gloves. He gets some slack in some areas in which I know he just isn’t capable. But I always make him try. He will grow up to be a functioning member of society … think The Good Dr. if you know the show.
If your anything like him then I ‘feel your pain’, so to speak. I understand what it takes on your end to try to “be normal”. And when you can’t I can just see the frustration in my sons eyes when that happens. But, unfortunately, the world isn’t going to change for him or you. You will run into understanding and loving people and you will run into selfish people who don’t care who/why/what you are. Your best bet is to do what you are doing. Let people know you may require some special concessions if they want to interact with you. If they aren’t willing to do that then why would you want a friend like that?
I wish you the best. And keep trying! Never give up!
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I would listen to Belf, there.
Very likely its more them than you.
and there are some in here who can dish it out, but scream VICTIM and cant take reciprocation when what they do is directed right back at them.
The wife will think its HER, but its not. I can see where the problem is and often have to show her how the other person is the one at fault for causing the issue.
If youre like the wife, I can say youre probably blaming yourself for interactions going south when its nearly always gonna be the other person.
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