Im sorry if this sounds silly, Im sure this post will end up sounding like a ton of rambling. Do you experience anxiety when trying to RP or join events? I want to get involved and be able to walk up to people but I end up feeling like I dont know enough lore to be accepted by anyone in an RP scenario or event. I do my research on the lore n’ such but its a feeling that wont leave no matter what I do. I used to RP frequently with no issue years ago and now, meh, Im terrified. =/ Any advice on how to get over this? Or how you deal with it?
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I’m right there with you, honestly- It’s really hard for me to try and join in on things, and I don’t really have any RP friends within WoW. The best I do is linger around places other people are RPing. Sometimes people try and engage, and I either shakily type out some responses or panic and exit my game out right there.
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Unpopular opinion time:
I mean this in the most empathetic manner possible when I say that, if RP causes you very serious distress or anxiety, there may be healthier hobbies that you could be doing in your free time. Roleplay is never more important than your mental and/or physical health.
With that said,
Above all else, RP is about having fun. The greatest part of WoW RP is that you are free to have that fun in any way that you want. There are no Blizzard employees dictating what you can or cannot play. Players may try to convince you that there are right and wrong ways to RP, but there truly aren’t. Embrace the fact that you are in this for the fun, and accept that there will always be people that do and do not like you, or how you RP.
When you let go of your concern for how other people might pass judgement on you, you will be free to do whatever you want.
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Hun, I have anxiety over most things.
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(Sorry if I mess up the lore, I’m kind of new.)
Statements like these can go a long way to smoothing things over. But honestly, it’s not really something that needs to be smoothed over. A lot of people are more accepting of things than you would probably imagine. We just assume ‘Oh crap they’re gonna laugh at me if I get this wrong’ and run with it. Happens in PVP and raids, too.
Speaking as someone who apparently knows a lot of the lore? I promise you that not everyone knows everything about the lore. Not everyone evens knows most of the lore. Most people know enough about certain aspects of the lore to do what they want to do. Which is fine. That’s kind of the point.
I will tell you this definitively: A lot of things in lore are left gray and non-definitive. That is by design. There is supposed to be some wiggle room for things. This is what allows you to actually do things, story wise.
There is a lot of lore in this game. Most people are more interested in the stories that you create together. It’s not so much which noble voted against paying the Defias, or stuff like that. It’s what you do in Westfall to make ends meet.
Having said that, as far as lore goes? It’s good to know the broad strokes. You can go to Wowpedia to get the gist, for example, of Gilneas. That’s all you really need. You can make stuff up as you go. That’s literally what RP is. Every storyline that’s happened across Moon Guard, Wyrmrest, whatever? Yeah, all stuff people made up.
However:
I can give a couple of tips for this. A lot of the anxiety comes from not having any kind of plan. (This is based on what I’ve observed in WoW and DMing now and again). So when someone comes up to talk to you, it’s just “Crap crap crap”.
Maybe come up with a few things that are on your character’s mind every time you log in. It doesn’t have to be huge things. If you’re upset because someone burned the muffins? Run with that. If you’re upset because your sister has been kidnapped by cultists? Run with that. If you’re more upset about the muffins, well, I mean, we know what your sister is like.
joking aside, a list of things that motivate your character in a macro sense (How do you feel about blood elves, your people who you now stand again? How are you handling the whispers post N’Zoth? How is it being back on the side of the Alliance?) and in an everyday sense (What is so hard about baking muffins? Is this going to be a rough day at work? Did your sister burn the muffins?) can help.
Even if people don’t talk to you about those things, you have them in your back pocket. That increases your confidence, which makes it easier to engage.
Human: How ya doin’? What’s on your mind?
You: Muffins. My sister. Muffins.Dwarf: Lass! Are ye daft? Don’t you see the cultists about?
You: They might have my sister! That’s weird because I think she burned the muffins!
This is one of those things that’s going to take practice, just like everything else. Think about the delta in your skillset from when you first started PVPing/PVEing and now. Same principle.
Eventually, you have to just go ahead and hit the queue for dungeons/battlegrounds/RP. The queue for RP is what you’re doing when you stand around scenes and wait for someone to say something.
Also, a bit of extra advice? Most ‘walk-up RP’ doesn’t involve a deep-dive into the lore. Just like random conversations with people you meet usually don’t go very deep in real life? Same principle. And anyone who gives you flak for not knowing some obscure bit of trivia can go directly to hell.
You can let them know I said that, darling. Selama ashal’anore.
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Vanaelia gives really good advice. I’ll add that if you want to do some low-key, no-pressure practice RP, look me up on Moon Guard – ask anyone in Riskrunner if I’m on an alt. I’ve got anxiety about lots of stuff but with practice I’ve mostly gotten over it in RP, so I totally sympathize and will be happy to help out if I can.
Confidence in your toon rocks, backstory and such has really helped me in this regard. I’ll play a situation as a foreign toon in a foreign land and roll right along with hug, flirt and smile. There are those who ball up and cry because not lore-rich, but that’s where my comfort spot is.
I’ll pass some advice from the late Erick Wujick, of Palladium fame creator of Rifts and his seminal work on the art of role playing, Amber Diceless. (seriously, even if you don’t play the game it’s a gold mine of wisdom for players and GM’s alike)
Go by these three words…
“Love your character”
In the Amber novels, Corwin is blind for at least two years until his eyes regenerate. Would you play a character blind, helpless, imprisoned, through all of that time?
Yes you would… if you loved that character enough.
Play a character that you love playing and that love can buoy over the rough spots until the confidence builds.
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