Well put, Zothlar.
I had a similar perspective to the OP a while back, but decided to finally change it. I now start my own groups, require voice chat, and utilize the tools created by raider io to ensure my runs are successful. I can now use the spec I want in the content I enjoy (Bear in M+ lol) because I put forth the effort instead of whining.
If it takes a while for my group to fill, I just do gathering or old raids /dungeons, or even housework.