Word on the street is movin like wildfire. New up and comin goblins just got off the boat and their first stop was to Flashbang Exports.
Now is the perfect time to go green. It’s spring time after all. So what are ya waitin for?
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Flashbang just hosted our first event geared around dueling. Legit flag drop duels. If you missed out, no worries because the next competition is May 8th at 9p server time.
Business opportunities a plenty still available within our organization. Contact a Flashbanger today!
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Thank you so much for running this event Mekgrim! I know it takes a huge amount of effort on the promotions side, then you have to plan how the event is going to run AND you have to come up with all the prizes. I think people often don’t realise how much effort and work organising an event is! I also think it’s great that you’re running it as a fortnightly affair. I’m sure that more and more people will come as you keep advertizing and showing them what it is all about.
You are a fantastic Head Supervisor, and Flashbang Exports is lucky to have you!
Come and join the fun, people. Roll a goblin and take part in wonderful events like these. Get involved and help MG Horde!
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(IC)
Zezlik Twofingers skulked around the back of a building with a huge telescope on top. Red sand crunched lightly beneath her feet, and she sucked in a breath and paused, listening. The rabble had not ceased. She seemed to be safe. In the shadows, she waiting while the meeting continued for what seemed like hours. In all her life, she had never heard such inane babble. What were these goblins doing - having a guild meeting, or a party? Whoever that bird was in charge, she needed to put her foot down and asset some authority instead of squawking like a stuck chicken. Zezlik peered through a tiny crack in the stonework, watching what was going on.
“Oh, ya got something else ya wanna say, Rakdurm? Sorry buddy. Here’s the mic. Everyone, please welcome Rakdurm from our sister guild, Flashbang Associates!” Flywheel’s high-pitched voice was streaked with stress, and she puffed lightly as she stepped down from the platform. She joined a group of motley, oddly-dressed goblins with glazed, half-attentive looks. Obviously the audience would rather have been elsewhere, doing other things - like swindling customers.
The man who took the microphone stood a full two feet above the rest of the crew. Although he had olive green skin, he was not a goblin at all! He was an orc. Rakdurm wore a brown hat, and a green tabard with white edging, with a symbol of a cackling goblin. The Flashbang Exports tabard! Zezlik was perplexed by this information. “I thought Flashbang Exports employed only goblins?” she mused silently to herself. “What is going on here?!” Biting her lip beneath her red mask, Zezlik Twofingers continued to spy on the meeting.
“I think I saw something the other night,” the orc was saying, “a stranger, sulking around the storage warehouses, and theft of what seems to be five crates of Azerite. We must keep our eyes and ears open and try to track the person responsible down.” Rakdurm looked very concerned. He spoke in a serious, well-enunciated tone that was a complete contrast to the rough-neck goblins that surrounded him. He made Flywheel look like she’d just stepped out of a rough night in Drudgetown.
“Did ya get a good look at this person? Who do ya think it was?” Flywheel queried, waving her hands to try and keep the other squawking chickens down.
Rakdurm shook his head, frowning. He started to started to use his hands to approximate the dimensions of the person he saw. They appeared to be small, slightly round…
Zezlik rolled away from her peephole, and leaned her back against the wall as she rubbed grit from her eye. She knew one thing: whoever the orc had seen sneaking around the warehouses was not her. In fact, until now, Zezlik wasn’t even aware that Flashbang Exports HAD secured warehouses, let alone non-goblin employees! Their growth must have been substantial to have accumulated so much wealth. A stab of jealousy and contempt welled up inside of her. She’d always disliked Flywheel. She was a gutless coward that always had other people running around after her, doing her dirty work. Yet somehow, the little toad had managed to cultivate a successful enterprise.
The Azerite, that had to be it! That’s how Flashbang Exports was making so much money. They must have stocked up so much that it was now becoming difficult to hide it all. An idea spawned quickly in Zezlik’s mind. The goblin rogue took a quick look around the streets of Fuselight, making sure she had not been spotted. No one seemed to be paying her any attention at all. Zezlik crept out of town and headed down the hill, waiting until she was well out of earshot before summoning her black rylak. “Take me to Headquarters, immediately!” she instructed the beast.
After an hour’s journey through the sky, Zezlik dismounted outside of a black, ramshackle building that could easily have passed itself off as a barn. In fact, it did not contain any farm equipment; it was the headquarters of an organisation called The Oilstrip Cartel - a subsidary of the Venture Trading Company. At the doorway, Zezlik knocked three times, followed by two knocks, then two again. It was a code of entry. The doorway was opened by a huge ogre with blue skin. He had a single horn on his head, and he carried a massive, two-handed hammer.
“Hey Meatpie,” Zezlik greeted the ogre, as she skirted deftly past the lunky fellow and into the darkened confines of the barn. The ogre was momentarily alarmed.
“You…hey! Oh, it’s just Twofingers, boss,” Meatpie grunted, as he recognised the wily little goblin and resumed his perch on a crate by the door.
“Send her in!” replied a voice from the far corner, who later turned out to be a Venture Co. employee known as Swindlegrin.
Clustered around a makeshift table, beneath a large placard of a large dripping blob of oil, was a group of goblins. One of them, a blonde-haired, scruffy-faced zeppelin maker by the name of Zygoxx von Ziggler, looked up from the map they were studying, to eye Zezlik Twofingers suspiciously.
“Vhat news do you brving?” Zygoxx queried.
Zezlik was breathing heavily, having rode the rylak quite hard. “Flashbang…Exports is recruiting other races to do their work…I saw an orc! He was wearing their tabard.”
Zygoxx was not convinced. “Impossible! That company has veen shut up to the vest of the world for eons!”
“I know, I didn’t believe it myself at first. It seems they’ve created a secondary business to house all their lesser employees. They’re calling it Flashbang Associates.”
Raising from his chair, Zygoxx von Ziggler began to pace, his hands clenched behind his back, his head bowed. “Vhat is the reason? Vhy would they go back on their policies?”
Zezlik was quick to answer, “Their business is booming, sir. They gotta employ people to do all the labor.”
“VOOMING! We should be VOOMING! It is The Oilstrip Cartel that deserves all zose riches!”
Snorting, Zezlik nodded in agreement. “But what is theirs, is ours for the taking. I’m not talking about oil and iron ore boys, I’m talking about sweet, sweet Azerite…”
A slow smile crept across Zygoxx’s stubbly face. He rubbed his chin between his thumb and his forefinger as he began planning how to take - what was rightfully theirs. “Flashvang Associates, you say? WE could use zis to our advantage. A cover. A disguise. Let’s vroll out the sewing machines! It’s time to make some of zose pretty gveen tabards!”
[OOC: Flashbang Exports now has a sister guild called Flashbang Associates which accepts all races and classes. The guild is still small at this stage, but it is a foot in the door for anyone has always wished for a piece of the Flashbang action. You have the option of either being a ‘good’ employee of the genuine Flashbang Associates (led by Rakdurm), or a member of the ‘bad’ Venture Co. cover operation, The Oilstrip Cartel, led by Zygoxx von Ziggler. Contact Flywheel (discord: Flywheel#4087 for more details.]
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Sounds like some shenanigans brewing in our sister guild…
I’ve exchanged the Goblin Lore Expeditions for a casual “Goblin Walk-up RP Night” event which will take place weekly on Saturdays from 8pm-9pm server time (CST).
The event takes place at the Wyvern’s Tail and is similar to the Horde Tavern Night, except that I don’t act as bartender. If anyone is new to the Horde and would like to try some RP, this would be a perfect time.
There is no planned storyline, no sign-ups, and it could be crazy depending on who shows up. For our first event, Octovi “Klibb” took a few goblins and curious bystanders through a few rounds of Hearthstone RP.
Photo of the event:
https://i.imgur.com/JRLqmJx.png
The Goblin Lore Expeditions are fun but they are a lot of work for me (about 3-4 hours prep+write up per event), plus attendance has been dropping, so I’ve decided to put them into hiatus for the time being.
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Looking for the most active guild of goblins this side of Azeroth? Ya found it! Step up, sign on the line, and be wisped away on a funtabulous adventure.
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What time is it?
Doesn’t matter. Recruitment is ongoing!
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It’s been tough trying to find fresh blood for Flashbang lately. Mid-expansion blues and all that. Nevertheless, we are still a very active guild and would welcome folks that don’t mind race-changing or server transferring to get a piece of the action.
Remember we are an RP guild first and foremost. We also do low level mythic keystones and normal raids. We have occasional PvP activties, nothing serious. Having fun with friends is what we’re all about.
If you’re looking for the latest content and progression, or a rated BG team, then I’m afraid our guild won’t be a good fit for you.
Sometimes we are also asked if a goblin allied race would be allowed into the guild. It really depends on what Blizzard gives us, but if it’s gilgoblins, then of course! If it’s furry vulpera, I’ll have to think about it. It would be great if an allied race could give us a few more class options.
Here are a few activities we have coming up:
Wed 9pm: Mekgrim is hosting a Dueler’s League event, with prizes to be won!
Fri 10pm: Flashbang is joined by a few goblin friends from WrA and ED as we beat our way through the last few bosses of Uldir, for the second time.
Sat 3pm: Finzi leads some adventurous goblins in search of the elusive Ratstallion in Dalaran Sewers.
Sat 8pm: Join Flywheel for a social night at the Wyvern’s Tail.
All this and much more, when you join the crew of Flashbang Exports!
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Looking for something different? Perhaps an RP experience other than tavern walk-ups and random encounters? Well, Flashbang Exports has what you want.
"Search for the Golden Gob" is a fully immersive, RP leveling experience. Starting in Ratchet, players will meet once per week, leveling their character inside the WoW story as they search for the legendary Golden Gob.
Being a team of all Goblins, expect mayhem, madness and silly fun. Especially since they are warehouse workers who’ve never been allowed beyond the warehouse. Beyond rumor, everything is new to them.
We have three players already committed and want more Gobs! The more the merrier. What could be more exciting than a group of uninformed, poorly trained Goblins set loose on the world?
SEARCH FOR THE GOLDEN GOB
A paced leveling adventure
SCENARIO
You are a weak, worthless, superstitious peon. That’s right, pal. A know-nothing mook without a copper’s chance of rising above warehouse duty. You push brooms, stack crates, bandage injuries, light candles with a wisp of magical power. Weak is a kind word for your abilities. Anyone who is somebody doesn’t know you, doesn’t care to know you and probably never will.
Until today, that is.
You and your pals have come across a palm-sized, weather-beaten, leather journal. It was tucked beneath a mat of straw inside a shipping crate; a crate destined for the firepits. While on break, your group read (those who can) about an amazing relic from Goblin legend: The Golden Gob. The schmuck who owned the journal was hot on its trail. It includes a description of the relic, a map without words and a series of riddles, clues and landmarks. After reading, nothing makes much sense. Well, the starting spot does: Ratchet.
Every Goblin has heard of that legendary town.
After a brief discussion, you decide that the book is a gift from the Great Goblin. You can be free from humdrummery. You can become great. You can make your mark and rise above the fetid cesspool of failure. All you must do is find the Golden Gob. Oh, and tell the Boss of your plans. That might be more dangerous.
OOC INFORMATION
Start level: 20+ (no higher than 40)
Start Location: Ratchet
Day/Time: Tuesday/11:00am Realm Time
Duration: Once per week - 2 hours per session
Minimum Number of Players: 3 (5 would be fabulous, more even better)
Addon Requirement: Dicemaster
Classes: All except Death Knights (until the group hits 55)(edited)
EDITS:
Day change: Wednesday to Tuesday
Number of players committed: 6 and 1 off-site supervisor.
Respond here, or via BT to jarington#1261
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Greblix shook just a little as he stamped into his office-shack in the slums of Orgrimmar. “That dang elf! Not only does he not buy anythin’, he crushed one ‘a my gems, too! I mean, sure, it was a crappy one I was overchargin’ for, but still! It’s the principle of the thing!”
Throwing himself into a rickety chair, he grabbed a sheet of worn parchment and began mumbling to himself while jotting down notes. “Gonna have ta get some sorta backup here, I ain’t got a chance of goin’ it alone in a city like this. Weren’t there some kinda Goblins-only cartel operatin’ ‘round here? Flashboom Imports, or somethin’? Maybe I could shack up with them lot an’ start gettin’ my jewels out ta folks what won’t be inclined ta wreck 'em in the streets.”
Nodding to himself, Greblix crumpled up his notes page and tossed it into a corner, penning a quick letter on a fresher, clean piece of paper. Satisfied, he tucked it into an envelope and, after a moment’s hesitation, slipped in a couple of the nicer small gems he had alongside it.
“Oi, mook! Take this here letter down ta the postmaster and make sure it gets ta them Flashy-whatever company folks! An’ if I find out it ain’t got there on time, intact, an’ un-tampered, yer gonna be in for a world 'a hurt, pal!”
To the Corporate Executive Goblin,
I am a jeweler working out of an independant workshop office in Orgrimmar, and have started looking to expand my business dealings. I have heard nothing but praise for your excellent shipping and/or distribution operations, and would be very interested in a chance to work alongside you and your people to bring fine jewellery to the people of Azeroth, for a very reasonable price!If this sounds agreeable, I would relish the opportunity to sit down and talk shop with you or one of your representatives. I am sure we can come to mutually profitable arrangement, with all the necessary and appropriate clauses included of course!
May our dealings be as smooth as a greased gold piece,
Greblix Coppertongue, Jewelmesiter Extraordinaire.P.S. I have included a sample of some of my work, for your appraisal. Please consider it partial payment in advance for your time.
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((Welcome to Flashbang Exports Greblix! Any goblin that is on can invite you into the guild. I’ll respond IC once the Boss has a chance to respond IC)).
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(IC)
Flywheel unfolded the letter, her eye skimming over it briefly. “Another goblin lookin’ to make big bucks in the city, eh?” She glanced over at Kitchyjewel, who had delivered the note personally, and was looking rather…enthusiastic.
Flywheel thought about the proposition for a moment, calculating the probable earnings revenue this ‘Grebix’ fellow would generate, subtracting a minimum wage plus holiday allowances, and insurance fees. She figured the profit margin would work out at approximately 0.0003%. It was worth the risk.
“Get Grebix in here, would ya? Tell him, he has himself a job. Bottom rung, of course, but a job nonetheless. It says here, he’s a ‘jewelmeister’…whatever that means. Maybe we could put him to work in the factory craftin’ ridiculously authentic-lookin’, but none-the-less FAKE jewels, and sell them off to unsuspectin’ blood elves! Now that’s a plan for profit if I ever heard one.”
Flywheel took a slow deep breath as the mechanisms of her brain kept ticking over.
“I’m not just sure how ya would make a fake jewel though. Maybe cook up some silicon crystals in a pot, then pour 'em into a mould with a bit of food coloring? I’ll leave that up to the expert to figure out.”
She looked at Kitchyjewel, who had been quiet and attentive the whole time. “Oh. Ya still here? Go on then. Find this sucker! I can’t wait to see what ‘gems’ he has to offer!”
A slightly sinister, ghoulish grin danced across Flywheel’s face as she watched Kitchyjewel depart. She rolled the small gems that Grebix had included in his package around in her palm. They looked expensive, at least in her completely unprofessional opinion. The truth was, she couldn’t tell a jewel from a slab of chalk. “I think I’m going to have Grebix make me a new bracelet,” she mused with satisfaction.
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((Welcome, Greblix! Look forward to making tons of gold wits ya, pal!))
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A Goblin, Sin’dorei, and Mag’har Orc walk into a bar. Want to know what happened? You should have been at the tail last night for role play. Nothing like mixing Bangers with the other horde races. Come join our lot. One of us, one of us.
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Now is the perfect time to level a goblin. We have a guild event running every week that you only need to reach level 20 to participate in. It’s a mission to obtain an ancient relic, the Golden Gob. This is a fully immersive role play group event. The group began its adventure today by following the interpretation of clues from a recently discovered map.
Don’t want to level a goblin, but still want in on this? Bring any race, level 20-60, characters into our sister guild Flashbang Associates and let the good times roll.
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Raiding tomorrow night, 10p-12a server time. Also don’t forget about the guild expo tomorrow evening as well, 9p-10p. If you’re looking to join our guild and skip the lowly OOC rank then meeting us there and joining the guild through some rp is a good way to fast track your first promotion!! Promotions mean raises and every true goblin wants more gold!
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Did you know that there are only a small handful of goblin-only guilds across all of the WoW servers? Flashbang Exports is arguably one of the biggest and best!
We are a very active guild, with 5-10 people on most weeknights, and sometimes 15+ on raid nights. We have a mixture of US and Oceanics, and as a guild we do RP events, low level M+, normal raids, and some battlegrounds! We also have a levelling group that is also working through an IC story in “The Search for the Golden Gob”!
Newcomers to goblin RP are very welcome. We have a weekly tavern event, as well as monthly IC guild meetings. Goblin players tend to be very laid-back, friendly, helpful, and always ready with bad jokes.
Looking for a good time? Think Flashbang Exports!
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Open mic night tonight at Wyverns Tail!
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“Hope you don’t mind, but I filled the place with the leftover fireworks from your party. All you have to do is go in there and sabotage things.
May I suggest the faulty generator, the leaky stove, and the flammable bed? Then come back outside and use the control panel to send in the gasbot.
It’s a foolproof plan!”
~Sassy Hardwrench
Don’t you just love goblins?! Roll one and come join in the fun!
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