Dear Noob Healers in Timewalking Dungeons

Don’t apologize for being a Noob Healer! I love you guys!

Most of the time I’m just chasing the tank yelling “Listen you long-leggedy Paladin or Druid or Monk (and once even a Mage), the Pook has normal length leggedies I can barely keep up and I want to do some stabbing too”.

If I’m in a dungeon with a slower tank then most of the time I’m just doing the stab-stab-shoot, stab-stab-shoot-stab-bonk rotation while singing “stabbity stabbity their life of depravity ends with a knife or two inside their body cavity” . I’m not even paying attention to my health bar because I’m hearing the happy sounds.

But Noob Healers! You guys make these old dungeons tremendously fun because you make me have to pay attention to my defensive abilities. If the Pook dies that’s entirely on the Pook.

Compared to the first time I ever did those dungeons I’m geared like a demi-god. But when I’ve got a dungeon with a Noob Healer this ho-hum time-walking dungeon suddenly becomes serious business. It feels new, like the first time I was there. My gear, my abilities, they’re suddenly not that big a deal anymore. Now if I have to do the walk of shame that’s on the Pook. Level 20 rogues have Vanish now. If I see the wipe a’ comin’ I ain’t no Paladin who goes down with the ship. The Pook can pop Vanish and wait for you guys to do the walk of shame.

But with a geared up experienced Healer, well, they do their job so well I forget I even have the vanish ability because it’s a new ability for rogues in the 20s bracket.

Noob Healers! You guys make the Pook remember that at the end of they day the Pook can always go “screw this, I leave you all to your long-leggedy drama”. The Pook can always find a little cubby hole to hide in while you all do the walk of shame. Vanish is always an option and the Pook is not a Paladin and doesn’t have to get caught up in your Paladin problems.

I seriously and honestly love that Noob Healers make these old dungeons feel new again in a way that they were when we first ran them with a Healer who was also seeing the dungeon for the first time. They make you really notice how an experienced healer is almost invisible because they’re geared and they know their job well. When you don’t get one of those dungeons where you’re all just sprinting after the tank (who you just know is laughing and giving the raspberry to every trash mob he passes), when you’re not in one of those dungeons and you’re just stabbing away and looking at the pretty lights and singing your little stabbing song and doing your rotations you appreciate that there’s a healer hard at work making sure the Pook don’t have to pop my Crimson Potion (which I assume tastes like Doctor Pepper and Fireball).

Thank you experienced healers who work so hard behind the scenes to keep the Pook stabbing and thank you noob healers who remind the Pook to maintain situational awareness and not just get caught up in the stabbing.

Anyway, the gummy I got off this Night Elf has kicked in so I’ll have a ghost pepper burrito and a large chocolate milk. That would be awesome, and yeah, Noob Healers! Don’t apologize. You’re giving the rest of the party the opportunity to see if we really live up to our self image of bad-assery or if an invisible Healer has been mom-healing their band of idiots because damned if anyone is going to kill one of their idiot children unless they deserve a spanking.

The Pook is totally down to run dungeons with a Noob Healer.

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I love The Pook and agree with your sentiments entirely. People need to be nicer and more aware across the board. I can understand being frustrated, but you can still be kind about it.

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