Day of the Dead - Visitation Announcement

Moon Guard
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Attention all denizens of Azeroth,

With the upcoming festivities for Halloween, the veil between this world and the Shadowlands will begin to weaken in preparation for the Day of the Dead. This will be a most fortuitous occasion for many to be visited by deceased family and friends. Some souls however will not be permitted to cross over due to the sensitive nature or aspects of their life that could potentially endanger the living world.

For this reason, we are taking extra precautions for the influx of living mortals to still permit the chance to visit loved ones. Those who receive permission from the local authorities to cross over into the Shadowlands will be directed to the respected afterlife realms of their deceased loved ones. There you will be monitored by the Attendants of Oribos to ensure no soul is harmed or escapes their eternal rest.

Furthermore, we are asking that the living take extra precautions this holiday period to ensure that no mischievous or unfavored souls/entities escape their eternal servitude and respite. We also ask that no actions be taken to interrupt the operation of the Shadowlands or cause trouble to the Attendants focus. To that end we ask that you kindly follow these guidelines during the 48-hour period.

  • Do not bring any gifts, foods, or amenities from the living world to the Afterlives. Such items do not last for very long in the realms and can hamper the comforts and eternal rest of the souls in their care. Souls should have no need to be reminded of their mortal lives as the afterlives will take care of all their needs.
  • Do not attempt to soul-bind, capture or imprison souls for their actions or events of their prior existence. This is to include prior marriage, bounty, criminal imprisonment, or life-pact as all negotiations are terminated immediately upon death and cannot be enforced upon crossing the veil.
  • Do not attempt to influence or manipulate the afterlives for your own nefarious purpose upon your demise. Any interference with the purpose of the shadowlands will be met with contempt and harsh punishments upon death. This is not limited to but can include confinement for an extended period in Revendreth or further repercussions within the Maw if deemed serious.
  • Do not take any items from the afterlives recommended or freely given by the bound entities of the afterlives, as they may be enchanted or altered to cause mischief and/or bad luck to the recipient in the mortal realm. Ardenweald, Maldraxxus, and Revendreth are most notorious for these kinds of gifts or items. Please consult your local attendant for a list of allowable items or materials.
  • Do not attempt to act as a vessel or caretaker of any souls from the afterlives as they may be seeking access to the mortal realm. False promises of power, wealth, or a greater destiny may cost you your very existence and soul. This is a serious offense also punishable by a lengthy imprisonment. Be advised that time does not operate in the same manner as the mortal realms.

Be advised that we do offer programs for extended visits for mortals seeking to serve and possibly atone for their mortal mistakes and actions. Please consult your nearest attendant for assignment to any of the four primary pillars of the Shadowlands.

Furthermore, access to the Maw and any souls damned for all eternity is off limits and restricted only on permissible authority of the Arbiter or leaders of the four pillars.

We hope you have a pleasant holiday experience and a chance to reconnect with your loved one’s this year and every year following until your fated end.

This message has been brought to you by The Mawsworn.

“Ensuring your continued existence until your fated demise is unhindered by the dead.”

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Has a sign on him that says: “Don’t feed the natives.”

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What if i just want to punch my ex-boyfriend for cheating on me? I am after-all the one responsible for sending him there. :rage:

Put him on a spit-roast over an open fire and just let his soul cook for a few hours as a reminder of what i will do when i finally retire.

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Pssssst… psssst, I’ll let ya punch your ex-husband if you feed me. is still wearing the “do not feed the wildlife” sign

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Oh he was a Scarlet Crusader much like myself so he is likely serving a sentence in some crypt among the sinstones of Revendreth.

I expect he will be there for a few thousand years for killing innocents for sport. You might remember his famous qoutes “Ill rip the secrets from your flesh.” He used to use that one in the bedroom asking me to tell him naughty secrets.

Then i asked him and he told me his… :rage:

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Unfortunatly almost any scarlet affiliated mortal has ended up serving their penance within the halls of Revendreth serving a sentence until they confess their mortal sins.

From what ive been told, most do not last a few cycles before they turn into blubbery sobbing messes. I believe one of the required tools when absolving a scarlet crusader is a mop and bucket.

A shame really because we have such fun ways to get souls to repent. While the use of flame is common, we take it a notch up.

Place the soul in a vessel that will allow the prisoner to experience mortal suffering. We then place the victim in a rotisserie and turn them over the fire while adding 11 herbs and spices till they are a nice golden brown.

We call in our hounds or bats and serve them up letting the beasts nibble at their flesh a little at a time so that each chew and bite moment is excruciating pain and agony until there is only a skeleton. We then boil the bones into a broth softening them up while the soul is heated to 750 degrees of searing agony and scorched burns.

Once only the soul remains, we let it out on a rack to dry, then wipe the memory of any intense pain or numbing and repeat the process. That way they can experience the deepest of horrors again and again…and again.

We operate only the most vile and sadistic means of torture to force a soul to repent no matter how long it takes.

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…Point taken… I got shivers from that… :cold_sweat:

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Just has giant deer eyes staring at your food from behind the bars and trying to reach it with a big ol long deer tongue stuck out “Feed me Seymour, feeeeeeeeeeeeed meeeeeee!”

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Castration of animals may be common among the denizens of Ardenweald so ive heard…

…However we have a more torturous method of dealing with pets that refuse to obey their masters or behave in their cages.

We have this unique brace that holds the animal to a platform at the ankles of each leg so they appear in a standing almost trophy like position. We then have a seperate caged conveyor pad where a maw rat is conained by the frame around it and placed behind the animal in question.

Now these maw rats are always ravenous in their desire of flesh and bone alike. But we don’t feed the animals to the rats…no…they are merely the instrument of inciting their intense hunger for later use on tortured souls.

Now as I’m sure you have guessed, the maw rat turns the conveyor which in turn is linked to a system of chain pullies. This ends on either of two devices. An old fashioned sanding wheel but with shards of broken metal and stone. The other being a spoke wheel with flat metal like spatulas on the end.

I’m sure you are already cringing at the imagery.

We place these wheels beneath the animal in close proximation to their breeding components. We engrave a rune that causes a blood excited-like method to these organs allowing them to stay in an eager almost desirable state. Then we position either the spoke wheel or sander in close/touching approximation and let the maw rat run wild toward its potential feast.

This in turn tortures the beast for an unending period. Additional runes can be placed near the animal to promote instant healing and memory nullification allowing the feeling caused by the device to be an unending level of suffering.

The fear this instils of stories within the maw ensures the realms are compliant in their animal requirements.

Now…whos gonna be a good reindeer?

(This is why noone else ever wants to join the guild and play with me. I could’ve been a Saw movie writer.)

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Scarlet Crusaders deserve the Maw.

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Arent most Argent members just failed boyscouts who didn’t make the cut to join the real crusade? They were soft and couldn’t make the difficult choices to defend their homeland when the plague hit.

So they fled south then rejoin years later just to claim empty glories? Maw worthy material as well there.

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You’d be surprised how many Scarlets ended up as Kyrian in Bastion. The first ones of the Scarlet Crusade weren’t evil in the beginning. Many fought for a noble goal to eradicate the Scourge, seeking justice against their prince.

Others took it too far but again they always wind up as whimpering pups when tied up in collars and chains.

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