Dangers of Doom Weed

Classes Death Knight
1

Greetings, Deathlords of Acherus.

I must raise everyone’s awareness of side effects of Doom Weed.

Doom Weed is an Herb found in Tirisfal Glades where there is an abomination mistook it for Gloom Weed. Suffice to say, the abomination’s master… Apothecary Jarrod was angered by the abomination’s incompetence and send the adventurers to scour some Doom Weed.

I took some of them in my laboratory and found a poor failed aspirant of Acherus to test it on with and discovered some of really dangerous side effects especially those who experienced with undeath. Side effects include:

  • Runeforging Razorice on your 2-handed weapon as an Unholy or Blood Death Knight.
  • Runeforging Apocalypse on your 1-handed weapons as a Frost Death Knight. Yes, both of them… without learning “Raise Dead”.
  • Not learning Mind Freeze and using that talent point to learn Control Undead as an Unholy Death Knight instead.
  • Using Death Coil as a RP dump as a Frost DK as a main source of damage.
  • Actually enjoying Festering Wounds mechanic and demand more from Blizzard at the expense of Abomination’s Limb
  • Being a Rider of Apocalypse without learning Frostwyrm’s Fury, Raise Abomination or Army of the Dead.
  • Using Soul Reaper against healthy enemies with weak sustain for upfront damage.
  • Having a thought that Kelliste of Antonidas can beat Chillpills of Stormrage in PvP and is the best DK in the world. Better than Mes.
  • Better yet, thinking Kelliste is a god who has 20 years of game dev experience, professional hacker and ex-Blizzard employee.
  • Having a thought Kelliste could also beat Petkick. Probably both him and Chillpills at the same time.
  • Thinking Death Grip is a Raid Buff.
  • Thinking Frost is a DW spec and only DW Spec that should remain that way.
  • Thinking Blood and Unholy should be DW spec and only DW spec with Frost only using 2-handed weapon and only 2-handed weapon. Opposing true weapon agonistic specializations for Blood, Frost and Unholy.
  • Thinking Sacrificial Pact is an objectively good ability and Death Pact having healing absorb is the best thing since sliced bread with both of them are totally original abilities.
  • Not using Pillar of Frost or any major cooldown abilities.
  • Death Gripping a rooted enemy. Twice. Once if allocating Death’s Echo. Side effect may include the consumer not even learning Death’s Echo.
  • Using Death Strike as a Primary Damage tool as a non-Blood Death Knight.
  • Not using Death Strike to maintain their own health pool as a Blood Death Knight.
  • Not using Marrowrend or Death Caress to produce Bone Shield. Ever.
  • Death Gripping an Enemy Flag Carrier towards the Enemy Base with their Flag on it in Warsong Gulch or Twin Peaks in an even playing field.
  • Using Frostscythe against a single target or Obliterate against more than 4 targets in front of you with full Razorice Stacks.
  • Not having source of Razorice in any of your talents or weapons as a Frost DK.
  • Strangulating a Warrior, a Rogue, A Hunter or any non-caster class.
  • Asphyxiating yourself into a Warlock’s Nether Ward or Warrior’s Spell Reflect.
  • Using Chains of Ice against a boss or a single enemy repeatedly until your runes deplete.
  • Paying for Weapon Enchant, especially that increases your primary stat.
  • Thinking Intelligence is your primary attribute bonus.
  • Using Anti-Magic Zone against a Warrior.

If any of your Deathlord comrades are afflicted by any of these conditions, please intervene. You might save a life…

… or undeath? Whichever it is.

Do what the living cannot.

4 Likes
2

Looking for more unhinged friends?

3

This is why Doom Weed is for Warlocks.

All the cool Death Knights are using Gloom Weed.

4 Likes
4

It’s an easy mistake to make.

1 Like
5

Erm…
U forgot DG is a raid buff
& Kelliste > Petkick

2 Likes
6

These two are also both valid results!

I added them into the list as an addendum.

7

See, the thing about Doom Weed is how its produced and used. Most people will just pluck the damn thing, roll it up in a joint and smoke it like it’s their last day on Azeroth. That’s a mistake often made by the weak of mind, the careless and grey parsers.

If you want to optimally use Doom Weed you shouldn’t smoke it. You should make tea out of it and imbibe the tea together with metanol. And you have to be undead. This triple triad of requisites are most important, because:

  • Only tea will cause you to hallucinate even further than simply smoking it
  • Only metanol won’t do anything to your undead body
  • Imbibing both together as a living will 100% kill you.

Now, you might be asking "Okay lets say I follow the correct procedure and drink this mixture of Doom Weed with Metanol, what happens?

That will alter your brain to be able to see the fabric of reality and its seams. You’ll discover colours have sounds, sounds have colours and ghouls speak on a subsonic frequency, and they all sound like Amelia Tyler. This psychic awakening allows one to unlock an instinct that makes your every action a post-conscious decision. You actively decided to do something without even thinking about it, for your thoughts now exist not within the self, but between the seams of reality. The results include, but are not limited to:

  • At least pink parsing
  • Intrinsically knowing every substat breakpoint and diminishing return
  • Which items BiS, both overall and based on your current gear
  • Being able to death grip allies
  • Unlocking mass grip as frost/unholy
  • Unlock a Bloodlust ability
  • Applying 2 runes to a 2hand weapon

The caveat is that the effects are temporary and any memory of the knowledge you acquired vanishes as the effect ends, giving you a sensation of emptiness and worthlessness. Subsequent indulgences will require larger amounts of the concoction to work.

Suffer well.

1 Like
8

Can I add some fel honey?

9

At your own risk, I haven’t experimented with more ingredients because it’s already a rather difficult blend to make.