Canon that you don't accept

So I know I’m opening a can of worms because the general consensus is that WoW lore is kind of crap, but is there any World of Warcraft canon lore that you just straight up can’t accept?

I don’t accept that Yenniku is Vol’jin’s son. As a vanilla baby, I stick with the story that Nimboya lied to us to get us to help him, instead of the post-Cata quest text where they removed that bit of information. I personally don’t think that Vol’jin is old enough to have a grown son because of “The Judgement” story.

As an aside, I also don’t accept that weird third toe that trolls have on the back of their heels. I refuse to draw it in any of my art.

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The entire Second War, really.

Well, the more atrocious parts of it anyway.

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Doomhammer slew Anduin Lothar in honorable combat.

Blizzard can shout it from the rooftops until the Heat Death of the Universe. I was there. As in me, the player. Thirteen years old and furiously trying to hammering out “it is a good day to die” before Lothar drops to the combined assault of multiple Ogres and Beserkers in the opening seconds of the mission.

So yeah. That particular retcon can sit and spin, as far as I’m concerned.

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While I generally try to work with all the canon I can and view at different angles, there was something recently I found odd. That Thrall couldn’t see why people thought Anduin handsome when he grew up around humans and would of seen what they liked in each other. It could of been him as an adult seeing him as someone who was young but it said he just saw him as a small pink thing in big armor. Who knows, maybe Thrall has become more acclimated to orc culture now.

Another thing regarding Thrall, is the depiction of the scars on his back. I’m conflicted on this.
On the one hand, he very much could have scars there. In my favorite book, Lord of the Clans, he tried to prove a point to Grommash that he did not live a happy life among hte humans and tried to show the Warsong his back of the brutality he endured. Only for the Warsong to find it amusing, because there were no injuries. They were all healed.

The only justification I can give this maybe, is that shortly before Thrall fled was when Blackmoore let people who bet on Thrall be with him in his cell alone, and let them do what they wanted to him out of anger since he lost and caused these people their money.
The healers there tend to his wounds with their healing magic which makes it look like nothing happened to him. This is when he decided it was time for him to find a way out.

So he could of been showing the Warsong what he THOUGHT were recently inflicted wounds from the humans taking out all their anger on him, so its very possible that he does have scars from previous things while being in the camp.

Though it’s still very odd…just makes me wonder if that was taken into consideration. don’t get me wrong, I think its a good depiction on his model. But I still think about he had nothing there to show the Warsong.

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The mag’har recruitment scenario.

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The powerslide. Syl’s fight with Arthas was spread over miles of forest using hit and run tactics, not one bad stumble onto an outstretched runeblade.

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“Orcs are adults by age 12.”

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TBF, I’ve played a lot of orcs that acted like 12yos.

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that WoW continued on after legion

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I think with that one, its more so they’re able to participate into a symbolic “adulthood” like now they can go on hunts and listen in on adult conversations and do more things for the clan.

Generally, I think overall, the age of adult hood is around the same time as humans. Even if they were to justify that at 12, orcs at that point are at the same mentality , maturity and strength as a young adult human it’s just not something that sounds good for players to interact with.
Sure it could be an interesting thing to explore, of a different race and species of people who grow differently. But…as players, with a way different mindset on how we see these numbers and us interacting with this game, I think a “12 yo adult” is a bit…of an issue.

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Ah, yes… canon I simply cannot accept, refuse to believe, and/or simply do not like.

dramatic and exaggerated inhaling

  • Maiev and Naisha were definitely in a relationship. Sorry, not sorry.

  • Illidan actually being… locked away in eternal combat with Sargeras… for some reason… while the Titans watch??? I’m not sure; while Illidan’s “redemption” arc wasn’t clean, I thought bringing him back was interesting. I just wish it didn’t end so strangely.

  • Shandris takes an active role within kaldorei government in lieu of Tyrande’s disappearance.

  • I dislike Malfurion’s entire questchain in Val’sharah from Legion (despite me loving the hell out of Val’sharah).

  • All of the gathered artifacts during Legion were NOT wholly destroyed because SaRgErAs’S SwOrD.

  • I simply do not perceive the mag’har recruitment scenario. Look at all these orcs from Outland, wow, where did they come from?

  • I opt out of sexual dimorphism amongst the races, thanks.

  • The Lightforged AND the Argussian krokul joined the Alliance.

  • Void magic was never “banned” from Silvermoon despite the concern over the Sunwell.

  • The original dabblers of the void were a sect of high elves hiding away in the Ghostlands.

  • Nathanos began to doubt Sylvanas’ reign and control during Teldrassil’s burning (as his hesitance during the cinematic could suggest).

  • Baine lead the rebellion against Sylvanas, with Saurfang only being a vocal mouthpiece.

  • Vereesa and Alleria are notable figureheads of the grand Alliance armies.

  • Wrathion is continuing to be a wonderful little nuisance in the best way possible at all times.

  • Xe’ra’s death has created a dark despair amongst all naaru connected to her.

… I’m sure there’s more, but these are just the ones that I think about a lot.

  • Oh, Anduin is gay.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

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Medan is awesome and I enjoyed his story and consider it canon.

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Can’t sum it up any better than this.

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Anything not directly reflected in-game. Fite me!

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Ah! Yes. A thread I’ve been wanting to see for a while, to know that I’m not the only person who looks at Blizzard’s nonsense and thinks

I’m normally in the business of extrapolating head canons from canon, so I can do what I want. That is to say, I usually make new lore, rather than reject it. So, I only have two big turds on my reject pile.

First: The current timeline.

I loath the current timeline. Wherein 1 expansion = 1 year, sometimes, but not always.

This is especially atrocious once I realized why they compressed the timeline. In so far as I can tell, there is only one canon number that is actually impacted by the compression of the timelines. Only one number that is both specified and matters when it comes to variation of a few years.

Anduin’s age. Rather than him being 25ish when he took the throne, they wanted him to be 18. So they made every major event happen in < 1 year, just to fit the Untoasted White Bread’s narrative.

:unamused:

Thanks, I hate it.

Instead, I do my damnest to keep it at 1 OOC year = 1 IC year, as it should be.

Second: The Pandaren language

Why, Blizzard? Why in all of N’zoth’s thousand tentacles did you make the Pandaren language a meme?

I actually left WoW when I saw that the next expansion was going to be about pandas, because edgy, high-school me thought they were stupid. I come back a few years later, slowly learned about their lore, and…

Wow. I was really impressed. The Pandaren were awesome. I loved their lore and aesthetic. It was a great place. I judged a book by its cover and was wrong for it. I actually really liked that they canonically spoke Mogu, because that’s really reflective of real life, wherein native languages are lost to invasive, conquering tongues. Like, how peoples in South America speak Spanish and Portugese, or Americans speak English. It felt gritty and real, and I -

lol, look at those Pandaren roleplayers using om nom omnomom as their language
that’s a funny joke
wait, it’s not a joke? THAT’S the canon?

Why, Blizzard? You actually did something right. You took a joke race and made them aweseome! Why revert them into a meme? God damn it.

Anyways, I roleplay that the Pandaren largely still speak Mogu. Pandaren is a language, but it’s like a backwoods language, not really popular. On the few times I’ve gotten to RP speaking Mogu, I take the phrase that I want and put it through Google Translate’s English-to-Chinese filter. I take the romanized versions of the words, strip out the diacritics, and paste them in. It’s not the best, but it works well.

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Troll Reincarnation seems way more OP than it should be in the books. Feels like it should be more like a lizard - slower and more painful.

Most things about population and the set up of countries and territories in-game don’t make much sense.

The timeline. It feels like there should be multiple years between expansions. This is maybe the most egregious lore weirdness.

Pretty much everything to do with Shadowlands.

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I have a meta joke that Juspion uses Argus time because Azeroth’s time makes no sense to him. Argus time is just OOC IRL time. So if someone tells him, oh the Draenei have only been here for seven years he’ll stop and count on his fingers to convert it into Argus time which would be 15 years when TBC originally came out.

So yah I agree I hate it too lmao

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It was like a weird shower thought, too. Like, I was in the shower thinking about how much I hate the timeline. Then thought, “What would it actually impact if you just ignored it? Wars would make sense to take more time, uh… You wouldn’t have to compress your character’s timelines in a weird way. Hmm… I guess maybe Anduin would be a bit older, but tha- … Son of a b***h.”

EDIT: If anyone can think of another reason, please let me know. I’m sure there’s something out there that I’m missing, but, obviously, I can’t think of what.

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I can’t believe they actually destroyed two whole RP hubs just to set up Arthas II.

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Red dragons being good is hard for me to accept.