I don’t see how Valor or KSM addresses any of the OP’s issues. If anything, it seems you completely bypassed the issues altogether “because reasons”.
Comparing ilvl.220 gear to 226 gear is irrelevant because the issue is getting to 220 in the first place.
Valor isn’t helpful if gear doesn’t drop in the first place. And being able to access Heroic Raids doesn’t mean you’ll get gear, either. I know several folks that have been doing Heroic for quite some time now to have barely gotten any gear, most of what they have is from PvP (which for me, myself included, isn’t a good option).
Hitting KSM outside of a dedicated group is exceedingly difficult due to exponentially scaling PUG group expectations, and yes, while running one’s own key is a step in a direction to resolve it, it’s not a good one because it’s stilly heavily luck reliant and even then, requires extra time. Which again, doesn’t help address the gap between 213 and 220.
So, based on all of that, I agree with the OPs post. While I haven’t personally hit that wall yet, I’m anticipating it already and dreading it. And I haven’t seen anyone properly address resolving that gap yet outside of having a dedicated group or getting exceptionally lucky.