Big Canon in Azshara (zone)

Blizzard is playing the longest game of “Chekhov’s gun” with this cannon.

They want to get a world record.


still has not been fire and theres no more patches this xpac, maybe in shadowlands sylvanas hits stormwind with it and all humans new city is now boralis?

I doubt it, the pre patch event is zombie invasion 2.0 I believe

I was guessing Sylvanas would order it to be fired at Thunder Bluff, but we seem to have dodged that cannonball for now.

i thought that would happen as well.

Either, Sylvannas will use it for the greater good.
Tyrande will use it on the horde as revenge.
Gallywix will use it since hes now a villian and kicked from the horde and start a goblin/gnome/tech xpac.

If it gets shot at Kezan by Gallywix as revenge to getting kicked out, it will blast off the top and reveal the descent into the undermines bellow which is the actual source of where most the goblins in the world come from.

What’s this about firing a big canon in Azshara? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

My prediction: So the goblins load the cannon with fireworks, okay? And they wanna celebrate, cuz Azeroth’s now free of all the known old gods, and we only have the umpteen old gods the devs will say have always been there and just never hinted at left to deal with. But freed, so fireworks, right?

Ok. So they load the fireworks into the cannon. And it is aimed harmlessly out to the middle of the ocean. So, exactly zero chance of anything bad happening.

Meanwhile, at like the exact same time? That same exact time is when the Cenarion Expedition Hyjal Guardian Circle have finally finished healing Teldrassil. The city atop the tree is rebuilt. The nelves have a home.

You all see where this is going, right? Of course you do. But for the back row ticket holders, let me explain.

See, the goblins, they go to launch their Azeroth-wide explody fireworks extravaganza from the big gun. They light the fuse. Ji Firepaw, tired of being left behind, runs on over to the gun to throw in one last bottle rocket, but oh no! His big tummy knocked the gun completely around! Oh, you pandaren! Only good for being fat and drunk.

So the firework gun goes off, and wouldn’t you know? It fires at Teldrassil! As the last remnants of night elf civilization starts to settle in, their home for the third time is taken from them, another 80% of their people are gone, and this time? The fireworks light up every tree from Azshara to Teldrassil; conveniently for Blizzard, this is all the elf lands.

So all the elf lands are destroyed, the night elves as a people are effectively at an end. King Andypants politely asks for an explanation, then when Ji explains what he did, Anduin apologizes to the Horde for putting elf lands so close to their cannon.

Everyone has a good laugh and goes off to have a drink before Shadowlands.

Being a goblin cannon, there is a significantly non zero chance that it will explode spectacularly.

This will result in a large number of goblin casualties, as well as obscene amounts of profit and gold changing hands due to insurance payouts, inheritance “confusion”, “tour the crater” cottage industries, “buy a real piece of the Azshara canon”, reduced maintenance costs, and the creation and/or invalidation of countless contracts and clauses (which of course carry with them the appropriate attorney and bureaucratic fees.

Goblins will be heard to say, after the economic boom, “We should have blown that thing up a long time ago.”


There is no 8.3.5

If it did fire it wouldn’t hit stormwind my bet is it would hit ironforge and bring the mountain down on the dwarfs. The alliance has too many cities still need to reduce those numbers to make it easier.

Pretty sure you hit the bullseye with this.

Doubt that gun even CAN fire.

It’ll likely be used to restart the faction war when a radical group of Sylvanas loyalists manage to seize it than fire it.

He didn’t say a clear WHEN.

1 Like