Uh. Since when?
Yikes
Re: depression, it’s a brain chemistry issue. Marrying/having kids/buying a thing/whatever won’t fix it. I hope you can find a good therapist, OP. It’ll help you feel better and enjoy your best life with your family. 
- It won’t help.
- Happy really has little to do with it.
We lost a business friend of mine last month to it, and nobody outside his wife and kids even knew he was depressed until they put the memorial up online. One of the happiest dudes I’ve ever met, business owner, awesome kids and wife.
That stuff doesn’t erase it. I know because I have those things too and it held me down for over a decade.
Talk to someone. A professional. Don’t be afraid or ashamed of medication. But don’t get your advice on what you should do personally from the forums.
Talk to a doctor. Seriously.
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Maybe try a cat or a dog first.
But seriously none of those things are going to magically solve your mental health issues, you need to go talk to a professional dude.
Depression is a major mental illness it can be quite crippling. It’s a neurochemical disorder. It has a genetic component, and in some case has early life influences.
My takes might be a bit less than supportive, because I’m the product of two people who have depression deciding to make a baby.
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Kids aren’t going to cure you. They’ll probably make you feel worse. There is no cure for depression. It can be managed with meds and therapy.
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As a depressive person, I despise my parents for bringing me into the world. Having children when you have a heritable mental illness means there’s a good chance that you’re sentencing another human being to the same suffering. Or worse suffering. That’s cruel and unusual punishment.
For example:
- My mom had migraines, fibromyalgia, anxiety with panic, and moderate persistent depressive disorder.
- My dad had major depressive disorder and ADHD with executive function impairment.
The major depressive disorder from my dad and the moderate dysthymia (persistent depressive disorder) from my mom mixed. The end result is that I suffer from a chronic case of major depression / severe persistent depressive disorder that is as bad as a MDD episode all the time. It’s a constant feeling of bad that never ever ever goes away.
On top of that, I also have major depressive disorder, meaning sometimes even though I’m already dealing with symptoms of a major depressive episode due to persistent depressive disorder, I also wind up experiencing an episode of major depression. And that means that they put the depression in my depression so I can be depressed while I’m depressed. And that makes me go so low in mood affect that I just shut down and can’t function.
And sometimes I have panic attacks and that sucks. And usually when my stress and anxiety go up my mood goes down and it causes those major depressive episodes.
And then there’s the ADHD which makes it hard for me to focus and struggle with stuff like school and work and paying attention. And the impaired executive function from the ADHD and from the depression in depression causes me to have no energy to do things like get out of bed or take care of myself. It’s a huge struggle everyday.
And then I’m trying to get through academia will not being able to pay attention enough to remember to take my pills so I could actually function.
I also have fibro and migraines as if I weren’t suffering enough.
Of course I have working memory problems due to the executive dysfunction which causes me to do bad on tests because I just can’t remember anything and teachers don’t let us use notes because they want us to have things memorized even though my disability makes it extremely difficult to do so and in the real world we have Google if we can’t remember something.
This type of thing is why depression is one of the leading causes of disability worldwide.
- Do you really want to sentence a child to live through another cold war, to live through the constantly worsening effects of post modern capitalism, and stuff like climate change? Again that’s cruel and unusual punishment.
If for some reason you believe that you really absolutely need children, consider becoming a foster parent, or adopting a slightly older child such as a non-infant non-toddler. There are thousands of kids who don’t have parents, many of whom would greatly benefit from an empathic understanding and stable parent.
As belonging to that category, I’m too tired to be depressed.
When I was single I had enough time to allow myself to think into depression, but now I’m like…kids to school, myself to school, did I pack lunch, who’s got dinner, did I put that box in the mail, pants too big, shoes too small, wife needs a Birthday gift, the yard needs mowed…the list is endless.
WoW is my escape.
I love my kids. But let me tell you, kids can be depressing as HELL too. They will BREAK your hearts with a word.
And also fill your heart with a smile.
But they are NOT easy. I do not recommend having kids (or getting married) to make yourself happy. Be happy with yourself first. You’ll not only be a better partner, but a better parent then.
Bottom line, The ONLY person we have to deal with from the day we are born till the day we die is ourself. Learn to at least Like yourself.
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This is correct. You’re going to need to figure out what makes you sad/lonely, and work to deal with the reasons those things exist.
Without knowing you, Koopsta, I’ll say most WoW players are introverted. Try to find some social group you can hang around with that has common interests. But marriage is a big thing.
IMO you can make smaller changes with bigger impact. Move to a city, meet some people, friends are better than spouses for dealing with problems. Spouses have opinions about where cups go that are (apparently) very important and chew toast annoyingly.
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I’m married and I’m not having a great time in life right now. It doesn’t have anything to do w my hubby but more current circumstances. I’m not depressed but I am very frustrated.
My mom needs surgery and lives 150 miles away. I am going to take FMLA to help her recover, which isn’t an issue. My work, however, is penalizing me for this by changing my assignment permanently. I thought it was just because I was going to be gone for 60 days, which I totally understand, but I found out last week, it’s permanent. The station supervisor had some BS justification for it which makes it hard to argue the assignment change is a penalty.
Also, we do the foster to adopt program with kids and we’re trying to adopt our long term foster son which is turning into a giant mess.
It will all get sorted out but it’s exhausting. I’m just glad I have our small farm to help distract me.
Edited to add, I hope you feel better 
. Try and take up a hobby, do something other than hang out on the computer.
Antidepressants are your friend
Umm okay.
First off, depression is not a joke and yes parents do get depressed.
They are people too…
2ndly I suggest looking into the root of the cause and seeing what can help you feel better.
Chili fries are not the answer but are here for folks.
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Not true at all for me anyways.
I was depressed while I was married, and I’m depressed while I’m not. External forces cannot ‘cure’ your depression. You have to do that. I’m currently on medication, but medication is not a fix, it’s just a bridge to help you get to the other side.
You need professional help. There’s nothing wrong with that. I could write an essay here about all the things I’ve learned to try to help deal with depression, but they’re not going to be tailored to you, and trying to take advice that doesn’t work for you can sometimes make you feel even worse.
See a therapist and get a counselor.
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As someone that was adopted I salute you for making that decision. I wish you the best of luck getting it sorted out.
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If you have depression, kids won’t fix it. You’ll just be depressed and tired, and you’ll have a little life that require you to be present and nourish, and you’re not doing them any favors.
The only way to get better is treatment.
I sleep on the mattress/bed about as much as I sleep on the floor; pretty equal in terms of preference to me. I’m not really hard to please 
I’m srry but I don’t understand how people get depressed. Especially if you have family. That’s just me, but depression was not a thing in country where I come from. It’s more western culture. Again I’m 100% wrong in many eyes.
I don’t know what people expect from life so they’re not depressed.
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Focus on yourself and the rest will come naturally. Lift weights, read a book, take a class. Put yourself outside of your comfort zone. You will learn a lot about yourself and either become comfortable with being alone or find someone while you grow.
That is the most condescending take I’ve read today. Good job.
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I foresee him triggering a lot of people 
Can’t resist that bait!
I had a good friend who lost his dad, job, and home in the span of two weeks before Christmas. He was battling depression before all three of those events happened.
He made a decision I wish he hadn’t.
End of the day different people handle things differently.