Man healthstones are only good if we dont have to ask for them…(like we have to every single time)
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Ahhhhhh, so you return to the doorstep, boy—though you’re not quite a boy anymore, are you? Time has a way of scuffin’ off the shine, but I never forget a face, especially not one that left a dent in my door like a sack of regret. Fifteen years it’s been since you bashed your fool head against my threshold, rang my bell like it was some carnival game, and fled like the coward of a tale half-told.
But I heard your words just now. Words with weight. Words like “sorry,” even if you danced around them like a nervous goat. You speak of sleep paralysis and dart-flingin’ witches in cursed Disney hellscapes—hmph. A taste, perhaps, of what you stirred. But more than that, I hear the truth in you. Fear aged into understanding. Guilt baked into the bread of your days. You grew, didn’t you? Even if it took a few broken WoW sessions to bring you back to my door.
So listen close, Hagmaxxer, if that what ye be wanna called. The curse I cast was light—barely a flick of shadow across the weave of your fate. A prank for a prank, you see. But it lingered, as these things do, fed by your belief and watered by your Tuesday tears.
And now… I shall lift it.
But not for free.
Three things you owe me, and three things you must do, say true:
Apologize, properly and publicly, to the children of your home, past and present. The tale must be told. Let them know the door bites back.
Send a hand-written letter of apology to Darren, who clearly deserves vindication for all his curtain-sighting claims.
Every Tuesday you have off, you must honor it—not with sloth or raids, but by doing something good for another. One act. Every time. For the Wheel turns, and good must be fed if evil is to be starved.
Do this, and the curse is broken. The servers shall sing, and the loading screens shall part like the Red Sea.
But ignore my terms… and next time, it won’t just be Tuesday maintenance.
It’ll be patch day. Unscheduled. Indefinite.
Say thankya.
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Reported for curse
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I’m not reading all of that, OP.
Or any of it.
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It’s a terrible night for a curse
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A druid can remove your curse for you. [Remove Corruption] removes poisons and curses. But not [Corruption].
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It’s okay, just abuse Peregrine Took again and we’ll be fine.
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Kudos for a great story with a humorous twist of an ending. A great little distraction during my morning commute.
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Want a curse?
Eat 3 pounds of sugar free gummy bears. Enjoy your night.
wiggles toes
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I do.
Go to your local grocery store. Stand in the meat aisle and strip down to your skivvies.
Smear a thick lather of vasoline all over yourself while chanting “be free, be free” to all the packaged meat.
Then when you are completely lathered, turn toward the front of the store and sprint down the aisles, belly flop and slide while continuing to chant “BE FREE!”
Then walk home. Try to leave before the police get there.
Curse should lift around midnight so try not to make any more mistakes and you should be good.
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I ain’t gonna read all that bro but Jesus saves, just put it at the foot of the cross, you good
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Lol I am my neighborhoods scary witch. Old home. Overgrown gardens. Anti-social. Doesn’t answer the door and just peers through the window… I’m cursing any door knocking kid who interrupts my wow time with more maintenance since it always happens while I’m asleep. Enjoy your curse.
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Listen this has gone on long enough - as bonafied witches (you and Norwoodwitch - crazy making that toon btw) HOW CAN I REMOVE THIS IVE BEEN PUNISHED ENOUGH. Its also hurting everyones wow time not just mine!
The only time I’d want to be a witch would be if it was like that 60s/70s show, Bewitched, where if you wiggle something or snap fingers while rhyming, you can port anywhere, get dressed and be instantly ready for anything, etc…
Life conveniences and bigtime travel conveniences. That’d be a great power to have.
On miserable, overcast days I could pick my nose or scratch my butt and transport myself to Milan, Italy or to some nice restaurant in Tuscany and have lunch.
No bills to worry about, nothing broke that I’d have to fix, no debts, no nothing.
Just live life and, when the opportunity presents itself, make life a bit more fun and convenient for others, too.
I’d be so happy.
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With your back
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Anyone named “Darren” should be sacrificed TBH
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Lift with your legs, not your back.
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I’m pretty sure you have that wrong.
You lift with your back and walk with your legs lol. C’mon
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Not if you want to keep your back working it’s not.
If you willingly read the whole ridiculous post, then you clearly are mad