Anxiety affecting daily life

First, I’m sorry. It’s a terrible ailment to live with.

I read about the first 20 posts and they pretty much sum up what helps. I started with the diet and EXERCISE!! That last one is bigger than anyone gives it credit for - if I could sit to meditate I would, but after decades of trying on and off it just doesn’t work for me. I finally caved to medication & therapy. The first was a four year trial of being a guinea pig for meds. It’s not easy, nor is a commitment to therapy. Therapy is work, most people don’t know that. Going in, unzipping your emotions and thoughts, then the therapist having to zip you back up in the last 5 minutes to send you back into the world not feeling like a wet noodle! Neither of these things are as easy as some believe. They do take hard work. This all controlled most of my bipolar, however anxiety is a different beast.

All day anxiety, over thinking, fear all equal stress which leads to higher cortisol release and the cycle keeps going. One person mentioned breaking everything into bite size, basic baby steps and it’s true. If I want to leave the house or anything really I must focus first on just getting dressed and think no further while doing it. Mostly be aware of the moment. Another thing that is important is a support system.

Pot does help somewhat, but that would not be my first stop for you - it was a practice experiment at first has I had not touched the stuff since 1985/25 yr old and had kids. So it was trial and error to find the right kind so I didn’t get “high”. Bonus side effect was it got rid of a lot of my inflammation for RA/PA (rheumatoid & psoriatic arthritis). Another important thing: do not self medicate with alcohol. It may have an immediate beneficial feel, but it stops your body from producing its own dopamine because it thinks it’s getting it somewhere else. This means anxiety gets worse instead of better.

I have still not conquered Anxiety despite doing everything right. The reason I believe is my exercise was cut short by a severe leg injury. My motto is: “Do it afraid.” Then it’s surprising how easy some of it is, how I can actually have fun after all, and all the little gifts of grace life gives you - simple as the sky being a pretty blue. *Nature is a great healer.

Know your red flag situations - reason I can only do dungeons once in awhile or turn down big social gatherings. Just not worth the stress.

Just know you are not alone. Crippling anxiety has lead to my agoraphobia despite all the best intentions. You’ve received a great deal of good advice. Just pick one or two to start with - ease your way in. Someone in this thread of advice probably said something that really spoke to you on a gut level. Start there.

For my personal solutions?

  • Limited ingredient foods, removing almost all sugars and increasing electrolytes.

  • Getting enough sleep and exercise.

  • Removing toxic people from my personal life.

  • Putting order in my environment (clean house for example)

Lastly … I imagine the situation that causes me anxiety to the point that I start to manifest an emotional response. I then clear my mind and repeat the process. I continue to repeat the process over and over again until I no longer feel any negative somatics.

Right now, I’m out of work and acting as my mother’s caretaker. She’s currently in the hospital after tumbling down the stairs last Friday (she’s physically fine, I happened to be helping her and she landed squarely on top of me), and they found a blood infection. I’ve been told it’s treatable. I talked to her not 15 minutes ago and she seems to be doing better.

Why am I out of work? Well, I have an old injury in my right knee that prevents me from walking very far, and 20+ years of smoking 2 packs a day have reduced my energy level to nil. I had figured this effectively made me unemployable.

The stimulus came. I didn’t spend mine. I invested it in small cap stocks. Had been doing alright until this latest recession wiped out all of my gains and then some.

Right now I’m paying for my WoW subscription in gold. I pay for my Steam games in Microsoft points. Basically I’m living on life hacks and a prayer.

And that’s before you consider things like the economy, national and global politics, Covid, and … just all the other horrors of modern life.

I’ve recently given up smoking out of necessity and switched to a vape pen. It’s easier on the lungs, and I feel a lot healthier. I jokingly refer to my vape pen as my “Copium Inhaler”.

I’ve had to do all the chores around the house, and I call mom twice a day to make sure she’s okay and to make sure I don’t need to call the nurse’s station and complain (or worse, sic my sister on them who’ll call up and start crying). I can’t bear the thought of losing her after losing both my younger brother and father last year, along with several uncles, cousins, and my maternal grandfather in short order in the past few years.

I’ve been looking into working from home. I hear remote CS jobs are paying an acceptable living wage. That’s starting to sound promising. The last time I tried remote work? Amazon Mechanical Turk and Surveys? Too much time investment, not enough return for it. So I’m hopeful. I’m probably going to do more research and start canvassing companies soon.

To distract myself? I of course play WoW with the same bunch of friends I’ve been playing with since Wrath of the Lich King. I’ve been playing D&D in discord both as a player and as a DM. The escape from reality helps. A lot.

I still have bizarre dreams. Most of them have a reoccuring theme centering around my brother or father or both disappearing and me being unable to find them or to catch up with them if they get too far ahead of me.

Some days I feel like I’m a hair away from being a total basket case. Anxious doesn’t even begin to cover it. The best thing I can recommend is to meet life head-on. Find anything you can do to give your life meaning and DO IT. Do what you can to keep a clean and tidy living space. Imposing order on your surroundings helps with mental chaos.

Most important of all: Don’t Wallow In Grief. I don’t know who said it first, but Grief is a sweet wine if you sip a little, but it turns poisonous if you drink too deep.