A good DM steps in and leaves the fate of the thing being stolen to dice after it’s been declared you want to steal something.
Typically there isn’t an insane lag time between saying “I want this to happen” and the other player saying yes or no.
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Not especially.
Maybe it’s because we’ve all been gaming/roleplaying for close to twenty years at this point, but OOC discussion doesn’t translate into IC knowledge. If the party thief said “Hey, I like that item and I’m going to steal it for some inter-party conflict” and I and the DM are both cool with that (Which 9 times out of 10 will be cool), then the situation plays out accordingly with me (being the person being robbed) as the player thinking to how my character will react to being robbed/who gets accused first.
Consent just allows everyone to have an equal amount of fun. Like I said, “Lawl Random” hijinks have their place in a RP setting, especially a tabletop setting. But allowing players agency over what their characters do and don’t participate in makes the experience less tense for everyone overall.
It also gives the DM heads up when the story might start to go pear shaped and plan accordingly. A situation not dissimilar to what you described resulted in us ultimately siding with the bad guys in a campaign because our kleptomaniac sorcerer pinned the blame on the loss of an item on our kind and quiet NPC traveling companions.
If the player wants to metagame, that’s another thing to addressed OOC.
The solution to metagaming should not be a reduction in transparency, especially if it would result in a player feeling their character was unfairly exploited by another. There’s usually an unspoken gentlemanly agreement that if a party has a thief, that they’re not always stealing from the other players.
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Having played Rogues in various capacities for a decade, I can say with certainty that the thief that steals from their traveling companions usually finds themselves at the mercy of the local guards in short order.
There’s nothing in a Thief’s skillset that other various characters cannot accomplish.
So I took y’all’s advice and spoke to my GM. He said he will talk to them
it can. Depending on what/when/how you steal and how your communicate before/during/after.
I’m partial to rogue type characters in TTRPGs myself, and many of them have done all kinds of shenanigans without getting booted out of the game. One ended up earning the party a recurring foe. Another one sparked a rivalry between the two dominate “factions” within the party. Another kicked off an end of days plot.
The key is to not have your rogue stealing from other party members be a simple matter of “I’m engaging in deception and exploiting your OOC trust so my character can get wealthy at the expense of yours IC”. That’s what leads most players to decide their character is going to kill or eject the offending scoundrel.
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To be fair, a Rogue PC is better served through shenanigans sleight-of-handing stuff into peoples’ pockets than stealing out of them.
Paladin annoying you? Sleight of hand some lacy underwear into his pocket and when goes to give the lady her favour back, out comes the racy black g-string.
Warrior needing some help talking down some angry NPCs and they have abysmal Diplomacy scores? Plant some contraband on the NPCs, make some insight saves and pitch the argument from NPCs against the PCs to NPCs yelling and bonking each other on the head while the PCs summon some popcorn and we finally get the answer to the age old question of ‘can commoners be useful in a fight’.
Wizard having troubles with her spells because the player never seems to remember to stock up on reagents? Buy them for her, slip them into her pouches before the other PCs notice Boom VonFireball spent all her gold on textbooks rather than bat 
and sulphur again and get on the good side of a person who can make things blow up with their mind.
Incidentally, I’m not allowed to roll Rogues anymore for at least two of the above reasons …
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Gentarn is taking lessons from Mr. Welch.
https://theglen.livejournal.com/16735.html
I’m stealing this. I am stealing this so hard. You have no idea. My current Jester and the straight laced puritanical Cleric have been butting heads in our sessions (Turns out a deeply religious individual gets tired of having their gods constantly mocked…who knew!?).
This is the perfect capstone “incident” to bring that little story thread to its ultimate conclusion. I’m bored with being a Jester and the story’s getting into the more metaphysical realm. What better way to establish the stakes of the game then having the “violently atheist” (my term) Jester being literally smote down by a deity who has had enough of this troublemaker mocking it and its followers?