[A] Snarky Individual Attempts to Replicate Posting Conventions in Search of Guild

Why hello there!

I’ve been told on numerous occassions that I’m a woman of few words, mediocre skills, and an unhealthy obsession with nostalgia. One of these statements is a bold faced lie and I’m not telling which.

I figured I’d give classic a shot again and I’m falling into the same trap. All my conversations are very one sided, turns out I don’t find myself to be a very good conversationalist. Who knew? I mean, I obviously excel in so many aspects of my life that who would even consider the possibility that I couldn’t hold up my own end of a conversation with myself? This dilema has one solution… Find a guild!

What would you be getting if you invited me to join your guild you might be asking… Well let me break it down! With me as a member of your guild you’d be the proud recipient of:

  1. At least half a dozen alts, none of which are level 70.
  2. A snarky response for darn near every conversation.
  3. The tormented spirit of a drowned Victorian girl that moans in anguish at inconvenient times during the night, like when you’re trying to sneak into the kitchen for a secret midnight snack without your significant other knowing.

I know, it’s overwhelmingly appealing. Don’t go running to invite me just yet though! I do have my standards after all! Any guild I join would need to:

  1. Be full of adults. My humor isn’t always appropriate for children and I understand that. The last thing I want to do is have a hand in raising the next generation to be as snarky as me. Really, it’s for your benefit, not mine.
  2. Understand that real life commitments are a thing. I have no problem being active and hanging out, but I also work 70+ hours a week and go to school half time. If I get harped on for not being online for two or three days I’m going to harp on back and it’s going to get ugly.
  3. No. That’s it. I have standards, I never said I wasn’t easy though.

If you made it this far congratulations! You have a larger attention span than me, I got bored about half way through and hired someone else to finish composing my ad for me. If it comes off sad and Victorian, just know I had the best of intentions at heart.

Dictated but not read: Nadiah

(P.S. No Victorian ghost girls were harmed in the creation of this ad.)

3 Likes

Very good!! I applaud your efforts!

This is amazing. Seriously, I want the moans of anguish from a drowned Victorian girl. Please.

Seriously though, I would love to join whatever guild picked you up.

-Sel