Fellow Horde, gather 'round the bonfire. Let’s talk about getting from point A to point B before level 20, also known as “the corpse run lifestyle.”
A tale of two factions
Let’s compare, shall we?
Alliance travel before level 20:
- Human or dwarf? Hop on the Deeprun Tram and you’re zipping between Stormwind and Ironforge like a commuter with a latte.
- Underground, climate controlled, no thunder lizards. You can even look at fish through the windows. Fish!
- Night elf? Surely THEY suffer, right? They live on a giant tree on an island in the middle of the ocean. Nope. A fresh night elf druid hops a boat from Rut’theran Village to Darkshore, and from there takes their pick of a boat to Menethil Harbor or a boat straight to Stormwind. The most isolated race in the game has better public transit than an entire continent of Horde. They basically have a cruise line. Somebody over there is sipping moonberry juice on a deck chair while we’re getting dropkicked by kodos.
Horde travel before level 20:
- Orc, troll, or undead? Congratulations, you get a zeppelin between Orgrimmar and the Undercity. It’s actually pretty great, assuming you don’t step off the tower early and become a cautionary tale.
- Tauren? Oh, sweet summer calf.
The tauren pilgrimage
Picture it. You’re a fresh tauren, all hooves and hope. You’ve finished your quests in Mulgore, you’ve visited Thunder Bluff, and if you’re a hunter, you’ve already picked up your gun training from the weapon master right there at home. Lucky you. Now you want to see Orgrimmar, the great capital of the Horde. How hard could it be?
Step 1: Walk out of Mulgore into the Barrens.
Step 2: Get chased by a plainstrider. It’s a bird. You are a cow the size of a minivan. It doesn’t care.
Step 3: Make it to the Crossroads, where a centaur raid will be occurring, has just occurred, or is about to occur.
Step 4: Keep walking north while Barrens chat debates who Mankrik’s wife is for the 4,000th time.
Step 5: Pass through Far Watch, cross into Durotar, and finally arrive in Orgrimmar. Victory! You have earned a nap.
No boat. No tram. No fish. Just vibes and plainstriders.
Meanwhile, troll and orc hunters
Now flip it around. Troll and orc hunters who want to use a gun get the reverse pilgrimage, because the weapon master who teaches it is in Thunder Bluff. Period. No shortcuts. Pack a lunch. There’s nothing quite like being level 10, sprinting across the Barrens, and getting personally introduced to every thunder lizard along the way. Several times. They’re very welcoming. Then, once you finally learn which end the bullet comes out of, you get to walk all the way back.
More graveyards in the Barrens, please, I’m begging
My husband rage quit last night, and honestly, I don’t blame him. Two server crashes respawned us right into the loving arms of about five Venture Co. mobs. We died. Then we died again. And every single time, we got the scenic 700 to 900 yard jog back to our corpses. At this point the spirit healer sends us holiday cards.
It’s not just us, either. Die anywhere in the middle of the Barrens and you’re in for a cardio session. At level 2 I died inside the cave in the orc and troll starting area, and the game decided the closest graveyard was… in the Barrens. That was almost a 2,000 yard corpse run back to the starting zone. I’ve taken shorter vacations. I’ve had shorter relationships.
Orgrimmar to Mulgore transport
The Alliance has a tram with fish windows AND a fleet of boats. We have our feet and a prayer. So here’s my pitch: a sketchy old goblin train running between Orgrimmar and Thunder Bluff. I’m not even asking for it to be safe. Explosions optional but encouraged. Or give us a zeppelin for that route. Undead get one. Night elves get three boats. Tauren built a whole city on top of mesas and they can’t get a ride? Justice for the cows.
A second bank in the capital cities (a plea from the crafters)
To be fair, the bank in Orgrimmar is right by the entrance. Great for everyone just passing through. Not so great for miners, blacksmiths, and engineers, whose trainers are tucked away at the very back of the city. Nothing builds character like realizing you forgot your Arclight Spanner while leveling engineering, then running from the back of Orgrimmar all the way to the front, grabbing it, and running all the way back again. By the time I return, I’ve forgotten what I was crafting, leveled up, and aged a year. Stormwind has the same problem, so at least the suffering is cross-faction. A second bank near the crafting trainers would save a lot of time, frustration, and possibly a marriage.
In conclusion
The Alliance has a tram and a cruise line. The Horde has character development. I’d just like a little less character development, please.
Anyone else feel the same? Drop your Horde travel ideas below. I’ll read them during my next corpse run.